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Hi Kat…it was my daughter’s birthday yesterday (the 19th) and even though it was smaller, I was still frantic at running around like a chicken with my head cut off (gruesome saying), getting cake, card, gifts, invitations, reservations etc. Her father stands there like a nit with his chequebook out. Anyways, I’ve survived another year. I was surprisingly sad this year, she became a teenager and it hit me pretty hard. She is my one and only, a blessing in my life, and I’m suffering from the "don’t grow up and leave me" blues. Anyways, hope you are now resting.
You are doing so well my dear. Don’t ever be afraid of what is to come. We only get to live this life one day at a time. I’m glad you recognized that your anger is a trigger. There isn’t an emotion in the book that isn’t a trigger for me! Happy, sad, elated, depressed, angry….you name it, they all became a reason for me to gamble. Congratulations, I’m behind you rooting for your success!Congratulations Kathryn. There are days when you will curse having self-excluded, days when you wonder if you could just go back and have them rip the paper up, days when you think you will go mad. Here’s the trick…these days will come and they will GO. My experience when going to my favourite casino to self-exclude was a very positive one. I did not feel judged in any way, and I felt like the staff there were supporting ME. So good on ‘ya, may today be your birthday as well – emerging from the dark shadows of a hell I wish you had never known.
Kathryn….congratulations on taking a brilliant step in self-excluding. That was the one thing that allowed me to stay gamble-free. As much as I wanted to go, I couldn’t. I know that I could go to some extraordinary lengths to gamble, but I don’t want to. Being lazy pays off! I hope this turns out to be the best step you take. You should indeed be proud of yourself for facing your demons. The secrets keep us sick. Stay strong, I wish you the best in your fight.