[Margaret_57]

I was reading about addiction today and how it is a symptom of an emotional overload or crisis that a person is experiencing and that is why we need to realise that the behaviour of an addict can take a while to change but counsellors are focused on the reasons for the addiction not the actual behaviour.(symptom)It makes sense as to why it can be so slow to stop.I felt better after reading this but need to redouble my efforts to do my homework.!

[Margaret_57]

Well I have not posted for a while,sheer lack of motivation I guess.I am still gamble free so thats good but sometimes just hanging on.Life seems to slow down when you are becoming conscious,I suppose that will change eventually.It is definitely hard work to stop a bad habit like gambling,I feel like I am in another reality at times.!! This site is good and we are all inspiring but I feel it is sometimes a very lonely path we walk.Take care all of you amazing and brave people.Another gamble free day for us all.

[Margaret_57]

Yes emma8 and all others it is a hard slog,but support here helps.Its crazy that I find choosing a better and healthier lifestyle should be so hard,I am looking at my mindset as that is my main barrier to change.Resentment,self pity negativity are all rearing their heads so I am trying to stay calm and focussed and use the slogans.

[Margaret_57]

Yay to me 28 days!!

[Margaret_57]

I thought it was time to post again.Well I still feel bad,lot s of weird health problems that are being looked at but I know I would feel worse if I was gambling,at least I don’t have to sneak around and lie to myself and others.I am finding I have a wee bit more energy and motivation to do things than normal so that is a surprise.My mood is still low,but I guess I don’t have the highs from the pokies so that will take some time.I think that is why I struggle to get past 90 days as I feel tense when I am not getting gv those highs ,although t he lows are not pleasant.Combine that with urges and you have a recipe for relapse,so I shall focus on being kind to myself when I am flat and sad.Thanks again for the kind works Lets all do this !

[Margaret_57]

Thanks  for your comments everyone.Yes I woke up this morning feeling glad i did not have a gambling hangover as I would have in the past.I seem to be struggling at the moment,I think when you have one addiction you usually have others When you look back over your life and I am sort of having to deal with all of that due to the situation I am in so it makes it hard.Doing a lot of writing but I need to step back as it can be overwhelming at times.OH well onwards and upwards so they say!1Yay to all of us !I find sometimes counting the days hard so I will just keep writing and let the days take care of themselves.

[Margaret_57]

Today I feel sad and tired ,

[Margaret_57]

Thanks Emma for your message.Yep it’s totally crazy ,the whole gambling thing,but I guess that is why it’s an addiction.Sometimes even coming on here is a trigger for me,I guess it’s because you have committed to a change but that creates an expect a t ion that you will fulfil it.!

[Margaret_57]

Isn’t it strange how it can take us so long to admit or acknowledge we have a gambling problem yet others see it well before.The triggers for me are wanting to feel that excitement but I actually don’t feel that any more ,just resignation,here we go again on the win,lose trail.I suppose that is a good thing as it stops me in my tracks before I walk into a pub.I have never tried online gambling as for me I wanted to leave my house and mix with people,although when you are at venues sometimes that contact is limited to basic chats.So the loneliness is another trigger.Hmmm…

[Margaret_57]

Well another non gambling day begins,yesterday I was o.k.,not many thoughts of gambling,I was having lunch and noticed a pokies sign ,and briefly entertained thoughts of going,but common sense prevail ll ed thus time and I kept away.Thanks for your support Steve,after reading posts on this forum,I can identify with Monica as I have had a similar experience to her so all of you are keeping me motivated and helping to try and get some sanity into this insane way of life I had been living.

[Margaret_57]

Yesterday was a hard day for me,I don’t know why,I guess it really is ODAT.It is good to read these forums,gambling is such a horrible disease and it is sad how many people struggle with it.,me included,I have been in recovery?for about 4 years now perhaps more but still struggle with staying free of gambling,but yes Steve the times between bets are longer and the relapses are shorter ,usually only one bet.thannk goodness.I know how much damage I can do and to be honest I know I will lose ,so am trying to focus on the good things life offers without gambling.I was in debt way before gambling and spent a lot of my life struggling financially,being a single parent of four,so I find it relatively easy to deal with the hardship of no money sadly.I went bankrupt a few years a go to pay of a large credit card debt,as I was unable to pay it,so I am lucky I have no debt,which reduces my stress a great deal and own a car outright.I am now in my 60s and came to gambling late in life in my fifties,but looking back I have always had an addiction of some type to deal with but this one got me on my hands and knees !Anyw a y I will go and do what I need to do today and another day gamble free.

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