[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
I really like your post on overthinking. I am definitely an overthinker!!
I need to bear those points in mind in order to cope more effectively with what life throws at you.
Learn my lessons and don’t keep making the same mistakes for sure !!
Many thanks for posting. Onwards and upwards, one day at a time. Best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Gustav
Been reading your posts, well done on your 2 weeks. Keep going, you are doing the right things.
I too am a compulsive gambler. Stay strong and take each day in turn.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
You mentioned being work in progress and under construction.
Yes, I am too.
We can use the experiences of being involved in gambling to fully experience living and developing ourselves.
When we gamble we are consumed!
Imagine being free???
Best wishes

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Don and Maverick
Thanks for your posts and hope you are both keeping well.
Don, we have to let go. It is very difficult, I know that for sure. I still and always will have regrets.
However I am trying to turn the negative into a positive by becoming a better person.
Now I want to make the most of everyday, have better relationships, look after myself more amongst many others.
I still have urges and thoughts but barriers are in place and I come on here and add to my journal or read other posts.
If I can ultimately live my life in a better way then I will try and look at the losses as the price I paid to do it.
Maverick, stay out of the “prison”. Gambling enslaves us, We know we are better off without it but it does have a magnetic draw on us. We have to recognise our triggers, stay strong, get through each day in turn.
11 months gamble free now. Some of the pain of the losses have gone now, I don’t think about it so much.
As mentioned I now want to use the losses as a spur to live the rest of my life in a good way.
Best wishes to all.

[marcusmaximus]

Another week passes by. Time goes so quickly.
Time is so precious. I DO NOT want to waste any more time gambling or doing anything else related to gambling.
We cannot buy time, we have to let go of money and time wasted in gambling activity.
If we move on, make the most of everything we do have then there is a future.
Gambling was kind of like being in a prison. Now I am feeling free.
Make the most of everyday. One day at a time.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Keep up the great work in your recovery.
I really appreciated your post about the Jaywalker story. Thanks for posting that, I can relate to it unfortunately !!
But I am not going to jaywalk/gamble again.

That would be crazy wouldn’t it ???

Best wishes

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
I echo what Cruising247 said. My thoughts are with you too.
Stay strong at this time. Gambling does not respect us when we are going through a tough time, it seeks to exploit us.
Take care, best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Jayleenmoody
Thank you for your kind words and advice. I am going along ok at the moment but am aware where I can get further help if needed.
Looking more forwards than backwards now which is good. The wasted time and money is in the past.
I can change things in my future but I cannot alter the past!
The best thing I can do to have a better future is not to self destruct.
The biggest factor in how I have previously self destructed is gambling.
So today I will not gamble. Tomorrow I do the same. One day at a time.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Hope all is well with you and you are using your gamble free time with other far more useful things to do.
I will be maintaining input into my journal, just not as regularly as in the very early days of my recovery.
The previous time I used this site I stopped journaling completely.
I have a look at the site on a regular basis if I just have a spare minute or two. Just so I can read other posts and keep myself “on track”. This is normally 2 times a week. Then I will write something in my journal when I have a bit more time or feel the need.
In terms of where I am at now then things are a lot better than 10 months ago. I have built up my finances a little. Any extra from my everyday needs I put into savings accounts where it is harder to access it on a whim.
I have a lot of barriers in place however there are ways I could gamble such as going to a shop and buying a load of lottery tickets or visiting a racetrack. However I do think I am in a better place now to be assertive with myself and say no.
Now and in the future I know I must always be vigilant to the traps.
Still taking everything one day at a time.
Best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Great to hear you are sticking to the plan. Well done on staying strong. Keep it going. Best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Many thanks for your wishes. I have been reading your posts and particularly like your way of looking at being grateful for small things. It is so important to be grateful for the little things as it helps us feel “grounded”.
Things going ok, been about 10 months gamble free now.
My thoughts at the moment focussed on building a better me. I will admit I have had thoughts about gambling again. I have built up a bit of money in my account again.
However at the moment I distract myself by doing other more positive things such as going out with my partner, exercising or jobs on the house.
I know that devil on my shoulder will always be there. I need to keep telling it to shut up!
At the moment I don’t post so much. I am aware that I must not get complacent, but I don’t feel that I need to get as much “out there” as in the very early days of recovery.
I do realise that it is STILL early days in recovery and that the simple thing to remember is to take things one day at a time.
One slip and I go back ho square one or worse!
The path I feel I must take is one of continual self improvement.
As a gambler I believe I became lazy, wanted a cheap thrill, wanted money for nothing, for no real effort.
I want to be better than that. Onwards and upwards.
Best wishes one and all, we can beat this, one day at a time.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Sorry to hear that you had a tough day but well done for keeping yourself safe and away from danger.
Sometimes we all have bad days but as compulsives we have to be really aware that this may lead us to gamble.
You stayed away. Yes, the day will pass.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Many thanks for your latest message. All is ok thanks. I hope you are doing well?
I have been busy over Christmas and New Year. This year I have had a good time and taken it aii in. Spending good quality time with my partner, family and friends.
Last year I went into the new year hell bent on chasing gambling losses and by March was in a much deeper hole.
If anyone is reading this and still gambling please think about stopping now. Things can get worse. I do wish I had stopped last Christmas time.
I think I needed a real bad kicking to finally take action.
Now I am 9 months gamble free and going into the New Year in a much better state of mind.
This year I will be doing the following
1. Keeping barriers in place. I am using Gamban and have blocked my bank card from gambling transactions.
2. Using my spare time effectively. I am terrible if I am a bit bored – I get myself into mischief. So exercising, jobs on the house, doing up old bikes, learning a language, reading and others …. Just stop useless scrolling on my phone!!
3. Taking things one day at a time, trusting in the process, TODAY I WILL NOT GAMBLE
4. Maintain my journal on here
5. Looking at ways to improve myself and my outlook. My ways of reacting to different situations.
So onwards and upwards. Best wishes to everyone in 2024!

[marcusmaximus]

So, 4 sleeps until Christmas !! Presents bought and wrapped. Christmas cards sent. Most food and drinks sorted, just some fresh stuff to get.
Finish work tomorrow then looking forward to some celebrating with friends and family. I want to enjoy this time of year.
This is very different from last year when Christmas pretty much passed by in a blur as I was so consumed with gambling actions and thoughts.
It shows how things can change.
I feel that I have been through hell. I have been tormented by gambling itself and have also tormented myself over gambling. Why would I want to go back there???
There is a much better life out there if we can stay away from gambling.
One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Keep going, stay gamble free. Small steps.
Do positive things, get some good feeling about doing that.
Happy Christmas all. Best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Some of your recent posts about spirituality are very thought provoking. Many thanks for posting.
You mentioned a number of spiritual disciplines in order to train the soul and build the “muscles” of our character. For sure I need to keep working on all those areas.
Keep up your great work in staying gamble free.
Best wishes for a happy Christmas time.

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