[Mal]

Hi velvet
I hear what you are saying and i understand, i am so appreciative of your guidance it is a godsend.
She said to me last night i want to sell this house, i want to set myself up i cant be here any more, she txt me saying i acheived what i wanted i broke her,not showing compassion this has all happened since i took control of the main account.
She thinks all i care about is money, i just wanted to stop the damage in the account, she does’ nt see it that way.
My daughter was so very upset this morning that we are going to seperate, i held her while she cried and told her we will get through this, she is aware of what is going on and wanted to talk to her mum but was afraid to, i said would you regret it if you did’nt, she said yes so i said swallow your fear and talk to her but be aware you may not hear what you want.
She did’nt hear what she wanted to hear.
All week if i tried to talk to my cg she would attack me verbally saying money money money is all you care about, she has shut me out i cant communicate with her.
I see now i have been an enabler, the penny has finallly dropped, i feel mysef growing wiser and stronger inside and understand what you mean when you say i must deal with my own pain first.
I guess this comes naturally to some people, i had to learn it.
One thing i forgot to say was my cg is dealing with the fact her mum has terminal cancer, and having a hard time at work.
I know this makes it a lot harder for her.
I guess it is to late.

[Mal]

It is mid afternoon, i read yesterdays post back to myself, and i thought to myself you sound angry frustrated and self centred.
I suddenly remembered my CGs good qualities and i felt my heart melt a bit, i thought-what you must be going through and then some tears fell.

you must be going through and then some tears fell

[Mal]

Hi velvet,
I decided to go back to my partner because once the dust settled i felt that i still loved her, she was apologetic but did’nt admit to having a serious problem.
I cant remember all the details but i remember her saying she was seeing a councellor, dont know if she truly was or not but that lasted maybe 2 or 3 visits.
I had access to the account then and used to check it often finding that she would gamble after seeing the councellor as well as other times, nothing had changed but there seemed to be glimpses of hope to me at times.

I did’nt have a clue what the addiction was capable off i was completely ignorant to it, i just hoped she would stop so we could be happy again.
I made the mistake of burying my head i just wanted her in my life, i did’nt know how to deal with it, she had a way with me.

I have reflected so many times and i felt like a complete fool i should’nt have gone back, but it was my decision and i accept that.
Our relationship is done, she cant afford to move out neither can i, neither of us can afford this house on our own it’s not a nice situation, just gotta keep my chin up while i try and work out what i can do.
I only started reading posts on this site about a year ago thats when i learnt about the addiction we spoke i told her how i understood it as best as i ever could, she admitted to some things she had kept secret, i thought maybe this could be a turning point., long story short, nup.
She still cant see a problem with what she does, if i mentioned this site to her she would probably tell me where to go.
I have given up on her , it is done.

[Author]

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