[Magclin]

Somehow I have to get that back. Material things have no meaning. I can’t seem to find the joy I once had. My home, my land, my hobbies (no interest). My wife, my children, and my next gambling trip are the things I used enjoy most. I’ve missed many family gatherings… Lying. I look at other fathers/husbands and I feel like such a looser compared to them. Shit… I’m wallowing in self pity again.

[Magclin]

Thank You
I will keep posting

[Magclin]

At least I sleep well. I feel like a coward. I was unable to face my wife and tell her for the thousandth time what I had done. Why the hell cant I control this. On my way back home from New Orleans I wanted to end it in the swamps and if it wasn’t for the pain I would cause my girls. That thought brings me back to sanity every time. My wife, 3 beautiful daughters, 2 even more beautiful granddaughters, and a grandson on the way (finally a boy thank you God!)
I have to find the way back to the things I used to enjoy.

[Magclin]

I will work on the barriers. Wifes not speaking to me now and I don’t blame her. So many broken promises so many times I lied. For some reason she still cares. I set up barriers several years back and did ok for a year or so. Thought I was ok, but the Demon is always there waiting…

[Magclin]

Thank you Charles and I am John
I am 50 with a beautiful loving family and a wonderful profession and I love both. I have been addicted to slots for over 10 years. If I could just hold or remember how I feel now I would never go back

[Magclin]

Thank You

[Author]

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