[lotti]

Hi guys

Thanks for the support. Since I wrote the post above, I never came back to check this site until now. It was to painful. I had constant panic attacks for weeks, but I am in a better place now.
I didn’t give into the urge of gambling with my parents money, although many times thought about it. I wanted to collapse, sob for days and don’t do anything, but I couldn’t . I couldn’t tell about this to my wife, I can’t bare the thought of damaging my family.
So I didn’t have the luxury of collapsing and looking for a shoulder to cry. I had to do something and thanks to that necessity I managed to stay focused although the pain I felt and still feel in my heart sometimes can be unbearable. So what I did in the past 3 weeks was, work extra whenever I can. I sold whatever items I have in my garage, sold my old triumph spitfire car and managed to collect about 6-7K. Which is amazing, and it gives me energy and hope. I still owe about £8K, but I am not panicking about that as much as I was anymore.. I am hoping that I will be able to pay all back end of this year. What a waste of valuable time, health and energy. It is so so so stupid:(
I just want to enjoy my life as it is, I don’t want to hurt my family, so I hope that I can fix this without them knowing:( They don’t deserve this.
Nobody does.

[Author]

Posts