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I’m sorry if I’m being too abrupt but I am trying to save you from the months of mistakes that I have made and the money, of course. You seem to be in a very precarious position. You must do what is right for you and in the end only you know what that is. Come at this with a clean mind and a thirst for real change and you will find your way. Take care and keep adding the days to your tally.
Let me begin by saying that banning works for everyone if you abide by it. I was not an avid casino gambler but when I went, boy did I lose big. I was always left with the most horrible feeling afterwards and swore never to go again. I had posted on this site years ago and was told to self exclude from the casino so I did. The next time I went and lost big and felt horrible I followed that feeling to the office and self excluded right away. I went to other casinos afterwards and when I lost and felt horrible I self excluded. It is the right time to do it when you are at your worst because it will prevent you (if you abide by the ban) from going again and feeling as bad. You must understand right now that your mind is holding on right now to hope. If will tell you that the ban is not the answer. It will convince you that you will find a way, maybe when you are busier with a job, and you wont have time to gamble. Bull shit. I have two jobs and still found time. You will still gamble and maybe it will make you lose your job. You must make a vow to yourself that the next time you go to a casino you will self exclude as you leave. Every casino. It will put a greater barrier, as kin says, a higher level of barrier, between you and your addiction. It is the only way. I convinced myself that I could live with a loop hole in my barriers. I could gamble on my phone, but I wouldn’t. I could have just gotten a new phone that would have closed the loophole but I convinced myself that that wasnt necessarily needed. It was my hope, like yours, leaving room for me to gamble if I was really good and disciplined. Bull shit. It’s only when the loophole closed and I was cut off that I began to recover properly and now I can see that false hope for what it was. Desperation. You are dealing with desperation and the thought that you wont be able to gamble when the desire hits you is scary. Fight that with all that you have because that is what will continue to pull you in each time. If the casino is there and you can go, you will. I hope that I am wrong and that you wont, but your brain is going to convince you otherwise. Be safe and gamble free today.
We win, while I appreciate your sentiment on what I say, talk is cheap. I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten wonderful advice on this site from experienced and well meaning people and just ignored it because I thought that I would have this problem “licked” in a week if I made my mind up. Its bull shit. After a week my mind began to think that I could handle a little bit of gambling and before I knew it I was in for all the money I could find. It will be the same for you, as it’s been for everyone on here, and in a week you will be feeling all of the same feelings that you are now. The tired of gambling, the helplessness, the anger at yourself can be easily replaced by hope and pride and a feeling of achievement if you simply go and self exclude at the casinos in your area. Put the blocks in place- all of them, because as long as you have a way to gamble, you will. Think of it as an addiction to alcohol. The first few weeks your body (for us, our brains) is going to crave the substance (for us, the dopamine) and will make it nearly impossible for you to resist. If you use me as an example, I am on day 24. The first two weeks I tried everything I could to get through the gamban security on my devices repeatedly. I even entertained the idea of going to the casino even though I had self excluded there three years ago. It will take some power greater than your will at this point. I understand that the feeling in the pit of your stomach is uncomfortable when you think about not being able to gamble and so you dont want to put those blocks in place, but you need to fight through it now. I was one that always did the half job, and always had ways to relapse, so I did. It’s not until gamban did an update that closed a loophole that I could be free of the temptation. Look at who you have become. Gambling has done this to you. Why would you want to leave the door open for it to do this to you over and over. One thing you said that hit home is that it’s harder for you to recover from your losses
as you get older. The losses are going to get bigger and bigger and the opportunity gets smaller and smaller. Please dont get into a place that you wont have time to get out of. I will be fine, now that I am on a good, solid road to recovery, but again, that is only due to closing all of the doors that were open to gambling myself. I hope that you will heed this with the urgency that is sent. My best to you today and to all.And Iam 56 looking to try to start all over again. Everyone on here has been in the same position as you, maybe not as young, but the same. You need to take the situation more serioysly- and in saying that I mean the you need to stop thinking that this is about money anymore. It’s not. If it was then you wouldn’t gamble after you win some money. You would stop, but you cannot and that is the issue that will keep you in the hole that you are in. If you accept that even if you win really big that you would probably lose it all anyways than it stops being about money and becomes about addiction. You need to van yourself from all means of gambling today and start taking this as being the start of something new and the end of the”systems”. You will not win even if you do. I know this because I, too, have certain games that j will play that i know that i will eventually hit big on but in the end, i am broke because i cant stop. I am better off financially if i dont play because i will still have the hundreds in my pocket that i would have put into the slots. Please use this, only the second day of a month that brings new life and promise, as the day that you change your path. You are young and have lots of time to begin a new journey. Take this opportunity. It’s the day when you accept that you are powerless against what gambling has one to your brain and you start a new way of thinking. Stay strong, but understand that you need to put as many road blocks in place as you can until you are stronger.
We win, I must agree with dark energy. I, too, had to come back a few times and stopped posting because of my relapses a few years ago. This is now my third thread. I am reporting 21 days gamble free today and it has been really hard. I think about it all of the time and while I have little access to it on a daily basis, the thoughts are always there about finding a way to go to a casino and try games that I want to play. If I go I could be arrested as I have self excluded from all of them. It is not a chance that I am willing to take because then I would have to be bailed out by someone and I don’t want anyone to know the extent of addiction. I know that the only reason I have been successful for the last 3 weeks is that there is no way for me to actually gamble since I have put gamban on all of my devices. It sounds like you need to put some serious blocks in place to help you stop. Self exclusion from the casino is a start and then gamban on your devices will give you help in the first months when it is truely hard to stop no matter what you try. It gets easier each day, believe me, after the first few weeks when you stop the brain from falling back into that pattern of putting gambling in the equation. You will have more money, eventually, and it will start a new train of life choices. I do not believe that God is responsible for my situation or my choices. I made them of my own free will and should have stopped long ago, but it was easy to get my buzz this way and not face the life that I had built. I must face my decisions with honesty and integrity and dig myself out of the hole that I have dug. So must you. The situation you are in is very hard but if you keep strategizing on how to get yourself back into a positive space instead of how to “win” at the casino you might find that the outcome will be more in your favor. Life is precious beyond value. If you are truely at a point where it has no value to you because of gambling then you have to reevaluate what gambling is to your life. It is your drug and it is killing you. I dont hear the hate in your post that should be there for this drug. You blame God. Blame gambling. Hate the gambling, ask God for strength and move away from those influences that are weakening your resolve. I hope that you find another path soon.
Daniel, please invest in the software that stops you from gambling on your devices. It is a first step to exclude yourself from the places you usually frequent online, but you could just go elsewhere. Please heed my advice this one time because the monster in your head will find other ways to get its fix. Cut it off as soon as you can.
Hi rosey. I’m on day 17 and am hoping to keep making it through day by day. I totally agree with all of the barriers that we can place. I used to think that I was strong enough to just make up my mind not to and have that be enough but I learned the hard and expensive way that my mind is not what it used to be. We are all smart. We are all trying hard. We are all addicts and in saying that we must all acknowledge that we are powerless, or least in the beginning we are, to stop ourselves. The pull that our brain is putting out for is to produce more dopamine is great and it is actually doing what comes naturally. We need to find activities that will produce dopamine that are healthier. I love the lists and the journals too. Paying down bills is great. All of the things that you are doing are great and productive and you have the choice of ruining all of the hard work that you have done for a few hours of mind numbing gambling. That is all that is will last for and the next 90 days will be spent trying to make it up. I have blocks that wont allow me and I am never going to say that I am in control in the least. I think about going to casinos constantly but am excluded. I think about taking the risks since we are still wearing masks and I would get away with it but I work 7 days a week. I think about it all of the time. That is the kicker though, I just think. Soon my mind will get tired of thinking about it and move on to something else. That is what my success is all about. All of the barriers that stop me from ruining my success. It’s not me at all. No pretense. If you think that you are losing the war then change your strategy to win many small battles. I hope that you keep your mind on the small battles so that the war is more manageable and victory is within your grasp.