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I’m not sure about your chooser being broken, Don, but it’s not all bad being sensitive to bad things that happen. Now, just for a moment, think of all of the good things that you could do with funds that you can afford to be charitable with. The money you put into gambling goes to fund the lifestyles of rich and greedy people. It in no way benefits anyone but them and hurts you in the long run. I am not sure about lotteries, as they are not part of the games that I would consider part of my addiction, and if you would only do them to help a school fundraiser or lottery, then I don’t feel that you have failed miserably today. I, myself, rarely ever buy lottery tickets and dont feel the calling of the lotto, so if I bought a ticket i would not see it as a relapse on my part. As for the gamban, if you look it up on the web you will find it is anti gambling software that prevents you from opening sites associated with gambling in any form. It is fantastic and very reliable and hard to beat. I had it beat for a short while on my phone but it sent an update that killed the loophole, so I’m back to no gambling on my phone or laptop. It is not that expensive and the way I figure it it paid for itself by me missing one fifteen minute gambling session on my devices. Look into it or its equal where you live. Like i said, it gives you the help that you need so much in those first weeks when the urges are the strongest and helps long after that by preventing little slips from happening when you get emails from the casinos trying to lure you in. I hope that you are feeling better now and that you will look into gamban for your devices. Take care.
Hi again don. It’s not enough to self exclude because of the very reason that you mentioned in your post
There are so many out there and it takes only a minute to join. In the heat of a strong urge it wi happen snits important to give yourself a leg up by installing software on your devices that prevent you and will stifle the nagging child when they start. For some reason, when I installed the software and knew in my mind that I couldn’t gamble on my devices the urges subsided somewhat and gave me the bit that I needed in the beginning. Do whatever you can to make it as easy as possible to get through the first few weeks and then things do get easier as you rebuild your day to day to not include gambling in it. I am at the point now where I do have access to devices that I could potentially play on but I choose not to. Its important for your brain to learn to say no to the urges when they come so that new and better pathways are built. I have learned this the hard way. I thought that if I just kept busy that it would help but the minute I was with a bit of down time, the urges would rush in. Give yourself the help that you can by installing gamban and then learn to say no to land based casinos by avoiding the temptation by staying away. Make the decisions and yes, it will get easier sooner. Hope that this helps.Hi n1ck, and welcome. How about you use this as a way to stop? You have to stop or you have to tell her. Try as hard as you can to make yourself stick to it and see what happens. The next time you gamble you have to tell her, plain and simple. I’m not of the mindset that telling people is always the best because if it causes her to change or leave, the situation would put you in a spiral that would keep you gambling for a while. Try to stop. Its what’s best all ways around and it would provide the motivation you need.
To reply in the best way I can to your analogy of the child pulling on your pant leg is to say that,as a parent, we all know that if you give in to a child pestering they will never stop. The general rule is that you must learn to ignore them,in the short run, and the will stop, eventually, because they know it wont work for them. Same goes for addiction. You have to hold out so that the patterns that have been mapped out in your brain have a chance to change. It sounds impossible but it works. I have had a few relapses in the past months, but for the most part, I’ve gone from struggling to make it 7 days to easily having no problem going 30 without even thinking about taking the risk of trying again. The urge, the need, is just not the same anymore. When I think about it, the excitement attached to the act has changed for me and I dont feel the need to gamble to get dopamine released. You need to do whatever you can to break the patterns. I was an online gambler so I got gamban on my devices. Find whatever you can to put in place a distraction, for the time being, and then work on your issues once the child at your pant leg has stopped pulling quite as hard. Have a good day today and I hope you are gamble free
After all that you just said, why are you thinking of gambling again? You seem to be a victim of the online sites, the land based casinos et al, and you seem to have a good understanding of the disease and its effects, so why are you thinking about it at all other than to run screaming the other way? Gamstop is A tool but not the only one. I have gamban on all of my devices to stop me from being able to play at home. It’s not enough to trust gamstop if it is so easily breachable. Take your attempts one step further to make it easier to avoid the temptation when it hits and self exclude anywhere in driving distance so that you cannot go in. The urge starts to lessen after a while so give yourself some time gambling free by making it harder. I hope that you are gamble free today.
Hi acleanslate, and good that you are here. If you are online and have an issue with gambling electronically, then get gamban (or its equivalent) on all devices, and I mean all, that you may be able to gamble on. The urge to gamble will take you from one device to another. I had to eventually get it on 2 laptops, phone and iPad. Dont let your discomfort at the idea dissuade you from doing it either. I always felt that I should always have just one method available for when I could “control” my gambling at a later date. Funny, huh? I eventually would just lose control on all devices so I recommend doing it asap. It will help to curb the urges when you know that there is no way to give in. Come up with a plan to help stop putting yourself in harm’s way and share your plans and days with us. We are here to help and be helped by each other.
There are many ways that people lie each day, and at least yours is just to yourself. You need to find the strength to stop just as if you were a drug addict or alcoholic. I, myself, am the same as you but find strength each day to live my otherwise productive life and keep on trying to fight this disease. That is what this is, a disease of the mind. You are not evil or bad, you just need to stop the behaviour that is tearing your life apart. They say that gambling hurts no one. That is not true. It is hurting you and in turn, hurting those things in your life that you care about. The only one that can change the direction that you are going is you. You sound like you are at the point where you need to make a plan. Share it with us and we can all help.
You are so right in all that you say. There is no gray area. I find that I minimize the act in my mind just before I relapse by thinking that I will just deposit once. Only $50 and that will be it. The longer I’ve abstained the more sure I am that it will be just fine. You said it quite succinctly when you said that we either gamble or we dont. We either control ourselves or we give in. I love @kin’s analogy of the hole in the road. It gives me a visual that I can relate to. I am at the point now where I need to walk another road. Every time I think of gambling I picture the hole in the road. Its insanity, isnt it? The very definition – doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. It’s a hole and I’m not falling in it anymore. Eventually I will choose the road with no hole, like you have, but at this point I am simply walking down the street, mindful to avoid the hole I know that is up ahead. Have a great day all.
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