[lizbeth4]

Your post made me cry-happy tears! To hear your Son say that he loved you and was there for you. I’m so happy that you refrained from gambling and spent time with him.

[lizbeth4]

Our local casino was robbed last night by 2 men carrying rifles and guns. They shot at employees but no one was hurt. Still on the loose. Another reasons to stay out of the casinos!

[lizbeth4]

Today was a good day! I think starting the day with a positive attitude helps stage the rest of the day. My sweet Grandson called me and of course that made me the happiest Grandmother! I bartered today and traded some items I was selling online for a carseat for my Granddaughter as she is outgrowing her infant one. Also, she very tall. No gambling urges. My GA meetings is this Friday and I’m ready. I have mmm y counseling appointment the following Friday after my GA meetings. I’m very hopeful!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monica, it is warm and humid here today with rain looming. The weather does prevent me from roaming to far from home. I’d rather stay under the fan at home. Lol! Yes, when you get your fridge, you can better regulate your diet. Iver found that too much dairy and or spicy food upsets my digestive system. Part of aging, I guess. New household items always make be appreciative. The last items I bought were bed pillows. The best investment! When is your Son moving in? Youv e come such a long way. You make me stay motivated!!

[lizbeth4]

Today I’m finding solutions for my problems. Not creating bigger problems. Today I will live with a positive attitude and take in everything around me as everything has a purpose. Thete will be tests along the way. I will get through them. No more self destructive, self sabotaging behavior. This is my time to follow,my dreams. First, freeing up money by paying off debts. I will stay my course and reap the rewards. Everything is possible.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Laura for your encouraging posts! Have a good visit with your Mom and Sister. I hope your back starts feeling better!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Stephen, I hope you had a good day! I just relapsed in my recovery but I’m going to get help through GA,meetings and counseling. Many times we get complacent in our recovery. Do this for you first! You are worthy of gamble free life! It’s always easier getting in the hole instead of getting our. All the feelings you’ve been feeling are normal. It’s the addition talking. Keep posting and get some outside help. Keep posting here. There are a lot of good people here and support! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thank you for your insightful post! I did find a GA meeting that I’m attending next week. I found several counselors in the same area and tomorrow I’m calling for a appointment. At least I’m being proactive instead of letting this addiction consume me more than it has! I’ve decided not to tell my oldest Daughter about my relapse. It’s sad that the people with whom I should be sharing with, I can’t. That’ life! I spent the night with my Mother as she asked me to. She hates the thunder and lightning!!! I’m home now relaxing and reading. I’m social to a point but have always felt a certain level of anxiety. I seem to pick out the quirky and strange personalities! Lol! I’m grateful for today!!! It’s a new beginning!

[lizbeth4]

So, I’ve gone over next month’s budget. I’m $500 short. No more credit negotiations. No place to borrow from. So, I’ve decided to pay things in order of importance. House payment, utilities, ect… That’s a i can do. The gambling residue that lingers with you!!! Horrible!!! I’ll get through this somehow. A good lesson!!!

[lizbeth4]

I am using this relapse as a learning experience. I need to work on my recovery and myself. My oldest Daughter sent me a beautiful card which cheered me up! She doesn’t know about my relapse yet. I’ve been hanging out with my friend whose Husband has cancer. They had some bad news today, his cancer has spread and it’s stage 4. My Husbands oncologist comes here once a week. They have a appointment with him. I’m trying to be there for her but it’s bringing back a lot of sad memories for me. Laura, I would give anything to have my Husband here with me. ANYTHING! Have you ever felt lonely even when you are with people?? Not having him here has left a permanent hole in my heart. Im forever changed. But life goes on and so do I. I need to make my life the best it can be.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve made a counseling appointment. Week after next. I think I’ve been absteining from gambling instead of recovering. I haven’t been attending meetings or getting counseling. That is going to change. I’ve been enjoying the rain as it’s rainy season here. It’s much needed as we have had fire restrictions here. I’m surrounded by forests and it’s quite the weekend camping place,for the city people. I love the winters as we become a ghost town. Very little visitors. Today I’m thankful for family and friends, good health, all of my basic needs met. Today is a good day!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it for your post! I am worthy of a gamble free life and financial freedom! I needed to hear everything that everyone is telling me!!! I need everyone to be frank with me. I’m going to a morning GA meetings next week. I’m going to see if I can coordinate a counseling session once a month around one of my weekly GA meetings. If need be, i will stay with my oldest Daughter and Grandson. I will tell her of my relapse and the help that I will be getting. Vera, I am sad to hear that you have relapsed. Please get help like I’m doing. We can’t keep living like this!!!! I’m thinking of you. I paid bills with my remaining money. I had stocked up on groceries thank goodness. August and September will be very tight months. I can do this!!

[lizbeth4]

I have found a few GA meetings. I will have to travel but it is worth it. Its doable if I go once a week. Checking with my health insurance for a list of counselors in the city. I talked to 2 creditors this morning. Both were helpful and set up a plan to help me get back on track. I know that i have to work on my addiction NOW or i will get lost in it and lose everything and hurt a lot of people i love. The time is now!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks everyone for your advice and support! I hear everything you are saying. Traveling 2 hours or more for meetings and counseling is worth it because I’m worth it! I’m feeling a little better this early morning. I’m figuring out what triggered my relapse. I think I need to do something more to occupy my time. I have some ideas but I need to act upon them. One step at a time. I need to learn to take care of myself as I’ve always taken care of others. I just need to get out of this rut and start implementing new things. I can do this! I feel the support here and it is really helping me!

[lizbeth4]

I know I need to go to GA meetings. The closest one to me is 2 hours plus, round trip. Counselors-there are 2 in town. Neither specialises in addictions. So I don’t feel like I’m being supported. I’m still feeling lousy. I’m going to be hurting financially the next 2 months but I will recover. I don’t want to feel like this again.

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