[lizbeth4]

PS. I’ve done vision boards before. I’ve started one which features the places I want to travel to.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve contacted the car loan company. The past due notice was sent in error. 3 payments were put on the end of my loan and I don’t have a payment till November. This will help greatly. In the interim I will hopefully find employment. If I keep on my path I will start seeing debts fall off starting in October.  Small ones but gets me closer to being debt free! My goal!!! I will send the aggressive creditor more money and lower that debt. Thanks everyone for your support. For myself, feeling overwhelm is one of the worse feelings. Thursday, my A.C. is going to be finished. Feeling anxious as I don’t know if the labor is going to be covered by the home warranty. I’m hoping for the best outcome. I feel like my day is going to be good.

[lizbeth4]

I -did-it, I can’t get into the support groups with my phone. Don’t know why as I’ve tried before. My Daughter can’t secure a mortgage loan. She doesn’t make enough money and she owes a lot in student loans. Between her boyfriend and herself, they can pay the mortgage. So that’s a no on that option. I use all the tax write offs. Right now, only one creditor has been aggressive. They are all gettting monthly payments. I am trying to work with the car loan company. I’m calling again this morning. We will see if they are willing to work with me. After my Sept 5th Dr’s appointment in the city, I will be pursuing employment. I’ve put barriers in place and I’m working recovery. I’m taking all the steps to stay gamble free. One day at a time.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Laura, Your credit score determines the interest rate you will get. Mine is low so my interest rate is going to be high. Yes, you are using your home as collateral. I don’t trust myself to do that!!! Yes, I have put myself in this position because of my gambling I haven’t lost sight of that. A big deterrent to not gamble again. There are bad implications in giving my vehicle back to the loan company. I’m going to try to work with them again today. I feel like I’m not being complacent in working out my problems. I’m not giving up. I’m trying to find a more manageable solution. There is no quick fix. It took time to get in this position and it will take time to repay everything.

[lizbeth4]

Maverick, Thank you for your support. Just trying to sort everything and feeling overwhelmed. I’ve broken down my debts as suggested here and my payments are manageable but there are too many of them. I’ve been late on payments and had to juggle payments. My gamblinh slips have only added to the existing problems. Ummm. It’s a vicious cycle. Its zapping my positivity.

[lizbeth4]

Kathryn, your posts are very important to me and always helpful. Fortunately, I’m not having any gambling urges or thoughts during this stressful period. The bottom line is that I have too much debt verses my income. I’m at the point where it’s too much. I can’t sell my car myself as there is a lien on it from the bank and another one from another loan company. Prior gambling money . I will call the loan company this morning and see why they haven’t followed through with their deferment plan and take it from there. I’m tired of living this way. I have no problem paying off my debts but this load is too big. I will do everything to protect my houses. It is 330am here. Another restless night.

[lizbeth4]

K, that’s good news about your Niece! I hope she has a speedy recovery from the surgery.

[lizbeth4]

PS: I wish I was able to edit. I see typos and it drives me crazy. Tried to edit but it didn’t work.

[lizbeth4]

I spent the day with my Mother. I broke down and told her my plans. Crying helped relieve some stress. She was totally understanding and helpful. Tomorrow I will be making some phone calls. I will see what results. I am on a debt consolidation plan plus I pay 4 creditors who wouldn’t join the plan, IRS, car payment, 3 loans, living expenses, back property taxes. Ugh!! This leaves me with little money and no emergency fund. Everyone of my slips has even put me further in the hole. It’s too much stress. I would never get a home equity loan as my interest rate would be high because of my credit and I’m using my houses as collateral. Not a option for me. Liens against your property mean that you can’t sell till they are paid off. I just don’t like it. My number one priority is my house and the house my oldest Daughter and Grandson live in. If things don’t work out tomorrow I’m taking ( Veras advice ) and in going to give my car back to the bank. I owe 12 more payments. I have equity in it and after auction and the balance of the loan is paid off thete will be money left that will go to me. I can by a used car. I can use my Mom’s car in the meantime. It’s just a thing and doesn’t mean anything to me. It would free up a chunk of money monthly. We will see tomorrow how everything goes down. I feel a little better as I ate a healthy lunch. Maybe I will be able to sleep tonight.

[lizbeth4]

Maverick, Thanks for your post and concern. I’m hanging in there. No need to rush to get on a computer. Today I’m just sitting and thinking.

[lizbeth4]

Monica, thanks for your post. I get everything that you are saying and I used to believe it. But I’ve lost my faith. I’ve been beaten down too many times. I don’t want to gamble. But I want to see results from being gamble free. I feel hollow and that I’m just existing not living. I am miserable. I do love my Grandchildren with all of my heart. That’s the only time I really feel anything. I can’t help anyone else as I am barely keeping my head above water. My Sister and I talked last night and I’m thinking again about selling my home and moving to the city. This would get me out of debt completely but with bad credit, where would I live? Every path there are roadblocks. I can’t find any clarity. I am stuck! Here in the states the creditors are more aggressive if you have assets they can seize. Some creditors wouldn t go on my debt repayment plan and I’m paying them separately. Sometimes my money can’t stretch that far. It’s become more than I can handle. Mentally and spiritually I’m drained and depleted. I’m tired and unmotivated. It’s a vicious cycle and I see no end in sight.

[lizbeth4]

Hi. I’ve just read your story and I can’t image how you are feeling. Did you gamble today? Have you blocked/banned, put barriers up? Do you have a friend, someone you can confide in? It’s hard to go it alone. You are eventually going to have to tell your parents. Although it will be hard having to face their reactions, that’s your first step in recovery. The truth shall set you free. Maybe with time you can redeem yourself. Stay strong. Keep posting here.

[lizbeth4]

Don r give up. Keep trying. I am very frugal in certain areas but have lost a ton of money over the years. This addiction changes you mood, outlook on life and takes your joy away. One day atca time. Take care and stay strong!

[lizbeth4]

Hi. You have to put barriers in place, ban and or put blockers in place. You can tell yourself that you will replace the money but it never happens. You only dig yourself a deeper hole. Take it from another CG. Have you told your partner? It doesn’t take long to lose everything. This addiction cab change you completely. Stay strong! Keep trying.

[lizbeth4]

Well done on your gambling free days. Have you put barriers in place and banned? Just a few things to help in your recovery. Oh, the desperate feeling and ideas. Been there! Urges-you can find way to get through them. Stay strong.

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