[lizbeth4]

Stephen, It’s hard on our partners to understand our gambling addiction. Do you think she would join the family and friends support forum here? It might give her a better insight . I’ think letting your Son take home the ps4 would be a great idea. Then you wouldn t be tempted to sell it if you had gambling urges. Gambling doesn’t solve anything. I think that most CGs have low self esteem and don’t like themselves. Just my thoughts! Eample: I have good qualities but seem to focus on the not so good qualities. We can change that!! You will get stronger everyday you don’t gamble. Keep going!

[lizbeth4]

Stephen, you love your Son and,he loves you! That is a big positive!!! When we stop gambling, we don’t let anyone down. Everyday is a new beginning, a new start. That’s how I plan to look at life! Its so easy (from my experience) to focus on negatives. Stay strong!!!

[lizbeth4]

The answer for US is to not gamble! I understand your situation. Some of my credit cards have been turned over to collection agencies. I can’t pay all of my bills this month due to my gambling relapses. Prioritize your bills! Pay what you can. Keep going! We have to keep trying. Through all of this, forgive yourself so you can move forward. It’s sometimes hard for us to do!! Today think of one positive person or thing in your life. It will help!!

[lizbeth4]

I am on a debt management plan. But 4 of my creditors wouldn’t join. Some months I don’t have enough money to pay everyone. This part time job will help me get caught up and fill in the gaps. Starting November, I will have 1 loan paid off. Which will give me $150 extra a month. I can’t blow any more money gambling. Next step is paying my late property taxes, which is doable by the end of this year. Xmas will be for the Grandkids again. No presents for the adults. Everything will be alright. I just can’t gamble. Incur anymore debt. Pray that nothing else falls apart in my house! LOL!! Hanging in there and feeling more positive today.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve been going to GA once a week in the city. Counseling twice a month. I’m scared right now. I can’t let this addiction get the best of me!!! It would be devastating! I’m praying too! I’ve just made too many promises to creditors and haven’t followed through. At some point they wont deal with me anymore. Thanks Vera for building my confidence. I’m feeling shattered right now. Trying to pick up the pieces.

[lizbeth4]

I will start a account to deposit my money from babysitting. The first month though that money will have to be used to catch up on past due bills. Some relief. NOW to tackle some phone calls in the morning as I’ve bounced a check and I’m late on a,payment. I’m so worried and just sick over it!

[lizbeth4]

I start babysitting tomorrow for a 8 month old boy. It will be 4 days a week, approximately 24 hours a week. I’m not going to make a ton of money but I’m doing something I like and feel comfortable with. I will have weekends off and 1 rotating day off during the week. It’s a start!

[lizbeth4]

I am starting over today! I couldn’t post here without coming clean. I’ve now put myself in a bad financial situation. Praying for a job .

[lizbeth4]

I gambled again last night. I feel like a complete idiot! A different venue away from my hometown. Many times I could have walked away with my money. I’ve spent bill money! Why do i continue to fo this? I’m so disappointed in myself. I need to get a grip NOW! This is so stupid and demeaning and the fact is that I’m doing it to myself. I’m putting into jeopardy everything that I’ve worked for. I went with my kind of friend here who is a CG but doesn’t recognize it. It was a very negative experience. Then why can’t I stop? My creditors are going to get tired of my B.S. excuses for not paying on time. It’s time to buckle down and get it together NOW! Working full time for awhile. I’m calling on a job tomorrow. Right now, I’m feeling down, hate myself and need this vicious cycle to end.

[lizbeth4]

I slept the best that I have in months. I think I was just exhausted! I still have a little bit of a headache but nothing compared to yesterday. I was thinking yesterday of how my CG brain works. It’s like a drug addict or a alcoholic. I crave the gambling . I’ve self destroyed my financial stability and pushed people away. Recovery is hard but that’s the only answer for true peace of mind and happiness. It gives me a lot of respect for my Daughter’s and their sobriety and recovery. I’m venturing out today: the library, dollar store, my Mom’s. Sunday my oldest Daughter, her boyfriend and my Grandson are coming by for a visit. They will be camping nearby.

[lizbeth4]

I am tired and have had a nagging headache all day, which is exasperating my feelings! Yes, I am impatient. Thank you i-did-it for your positive words . I need to find my confidence again. I need to find me again. I will keep praying that I will find employment.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve had trouble logging in to my account here!! Yikes! I really need to post. I am very depressed, tired and just down in the dumps. I know it’s only been 1 day since I’ve posted my seeking employment ad on the FB sites here but I’m already feeling defeated???? I also applied online for 2 other jobs today. I finally realized that I needed a job ASAP. My budget looks good on paper but lifes uncertainties keep popping up. I feel myself just backsliding again and again. I’m second guessing myself too. I haven’t worked for 9 years. I guess I’ve lost my confidence. I can barely function today and I have a splitting headache. I’m reaching for something positive.

[lizbeth4]

I’m not sure how i feel today! Have you ever felt that way? I’m tired and drained. I’m mentally drained also. I’m going to mail my Granddaughters outfit today. I don’t plan on doing much more. I placed my job ad on FB. I’m not sure if I need to tweak it a little. There are a lot of things I want to start working on regarding my life but for today I’m going to relax and get through my mood. Tomorrow is a new day!

[lizbeth4]

Have a good camping trip! You deserve it! I didn’t gamble. I paid the bills and had my hair cut. The urges are still there as I had to juggle a few bills again, prioritize what was paid. I think that is why the gambling urges are resurfacing. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to persevere. I went to the city for my Cardiologist appointment. All is well. My Mom and I went shopping and out for lunch. I only bought a outfit for my Granddaughter on clearance for $5. Very cute! I’m tired!!! Long day! My online job ad is getting posted tomorrow. Looking forward to responses. If not I will have to look into other avenues.

[lizbeth4]

It’s payday. After reviewing my account and bills are paid, there will be little left. Then why am i having gambling thoughts? I know I can’t gamble responsibly. So, I’m going take a shower, get my hair cut and prepare for my trip to the city tomorrow. Maybe I will go to the library. I will get through this.

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