[lizbeth4]

Paying for a landscaper is out of my budget. Once upon a time, I could afford it.

[lizbeth4]

Well, last night was scary. I let my yougest Daughter handle it as I seem to want to take over. . LOL! I want her to learn and make her own decisions although I’m always here to help and talk to. My Granddaughter ran into a door knob. At 19 months they are very clumsy and don’t watch where they are going. She was taken to the ER but all is well. She just has a huge gooseegg on her forehead. My Daughter failed to tell me that she had a accident at work earlier that day. Sheets of dry wall fell on her leg, causing a lot of bruising and swelling. It looks painful from the pictures I’ve seen. I don’t know why she didn’t have it looked at while she was at the ER? I found out her boss isn’t doing things legally. He has no workers comp to cover her,injury. She’s a sweetie but she seems to get caught up with some shady people. Scary!!!! My Boss is really getting annoying. He is 2 hours from where I work. I communicate with him via the phone and texts. Im basically calling my own shots and making decisions. I sent him a supply list of things I need over a week ago. I never received any acknowledgement from him. I finally called him and he got it. Couldn’t tell me when I would get the supplies. Asked me if I had vacuumed a vault. I had to remind him that I was doing it on Monday. I’ve never done this type of work before. I guess I’m used to some sort of direction. Oh well. Yes, Monica, it is nice to be able to afford things. I’m used to the basics lately. I have tons of yard work to tackle  tomorrow. URRRRR!

[lizbeth4]

I paid the bills I could as some are auto pay. I bought groceries and was able to stock up on toilet paper, paper towels, Kleenex and light bulbs. I treated myself to some new make up and a new bedroom lamp as mine had died. It felt good to be able to do so. I mailed my oldest Daughter her birthday card with $50 and a brautiful pair of chandelier earrings that i had cteated for her. I did have a fleeting thought about gambling today. The thoughts of driving far to a venue and work tonight stopped me!! The urges have stopped. Raked the front yard. Tomorrow,, I’m tackling the backyard. I must address recent events here on GT. It was very upsetting. I don’t want to be judged or questioned about my recovery. We are all unique. I choose how I handle my recovery. It’s not a one size fits all. What works for someone else may not work for me but it’s not my place to judge anyone here. Please think before you post negativity as it affects all of us here!

[lizbeth4]

And I have 3 paydays a month, from my pension and job! Getting motivated as I need to go grocery shopping and the post office to mail my oldest Daughter her birthday gift. She will turn 40 in 2 days! I cant believe she is that old or me. LOL! Yes, I would sell my Mother’s home after she is gone. I don’t want to deal with renters, family or not. Thanks for the compliment i-did-it! It’s hard watching your child struggle but she has to try to make it on her own. Well, I better jump in the shower and get going! Have a great gamble free day everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Hopefully you can resolve your tummy issues. It’s so hard to work when you’re short handed plus not feeling well. You have really come so far and have been a good example that we can all persevere. I hate it when I lose something and It’s usually a earring that I love. Maybe it will turn up. That’s great that your Son is painting and getting his space ready for his move in. Have a great day tomorrow.

[lizbeth4]

There is always hope! I’m feeling stressed today. My youngest Daughter is having a hard time. Everything seems to be going wrong. She’s trying so hard. I worry that she may relapse. It’s hard as I’m 2 hours from her. I keep reassuring her and the door is always open for her to come home. I know she is trying to make it on her own. I can help with food and diapers. Stress=gambling for me and tomorrow is payday. Surprisingly, I’m not having urges. I need to pay bills and remember my goals!

[lizbeth4]

My plans today were to clean up the leaves in my front yard. But my plans were thwarted by the winds. Tomorrow is another day. Having this new job and not gambling are already showing results. Next month I will be able to pay all of my monthly bills, the rest of my overdue property taxes and focus on the new bill, and have money left over. I am getting internet next month, yeah! My home warranty will cover my oven. The repairman can’t come out till Nov 9th as he is on vacation next week, but that’s ok. If it can’t be fixed, they will porate the value and send me a check. I can save for another one. I feel good. I feel like I’m making real headway financially. I’m feeling better about myself also. My friend gave me a lot of encouragement and helped me to see my value. Sunday, I’m visiting another church here. They seem to have different activities during the week and they participate in a lot of community service. It’s a little new agey but I think it is better for me than the traditional bible based church. I’m really hoping that I like it. I feel like I’m in a good place in my recovery. Things are looking up!

[lizbeth4]

My visit with my friend was awesome. I made it home with a few hours to spare before work. No gambling thoughts or urges. Feeling content and peaceful!!!!

[lizbeth4]

I can’t imagine having to deal with a chronic illness. It must be hard and very tiring. It’s okay to put your energy on self care now. If I don’t stop my gambling, I risk losing 2 homes. I won’t do a second mortgage on either as I’m afraid of getting in too deep. I’m sure the mortgage company will work with you. They are usually helpful. It is unreal what we will risk to gamble. Take care of yourself.

[lizbeth4]

Recovery isn’t easy. When you throw in other unnecessary drama it can become overwhelming. Thanks for letting me be honest and for not judging me. I have a long way to go but I feel better about myself and I’m making headway with my debt. I’m able to afford somer extras next month and will be able to provide my family a nice Thanksgiving dinner. I’m having someone look at my oven next week. Hoping it can be fixed. Going out for dinner is a option for us. I’m digging through my stuff trying to find my autumn decor for my front door. Life is good!

[lizbeth4]

I just don’t understand why people who are supposed to love you can act so terrible. My Sister hasn’t text me as I think she knows how dispecable her behavior was. For what ever reason, it’s best that I don’t talk to her. I-did-it, I think you’re on to something. I’m getting my self together. I feel like I’m productive and I’m feeling better about myself. I’m not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. She lives with a millionaire but nothing is hers. He has 2 daughters and a grandchild whom he is leaving everything to. I do have my cute house that is all mine. She told me when Mom dies, we are not selling the house because 1 of her boys may need somewhere to live. Really, if I’m still in the will, LOL I’m selling my half to her at current market value. What is wrong with her??? Anyways, going to the library, doing laundry and packing a overnight bag. Have a great gamble free weekend everyone!!

[lizbeth4]

I will have fun! My friend is 8 years older than me and is raising her Grandson. Hrs been with her since age 3. He’s now 11 years old. Both parents had their parental rights taken away. She’s like family to me. Monica you’re right. Either I put up with it or not. I’ve stood up for myself but the behavior has continued. Detachment. I need to read about this. I’ve forgiven, tuned out and the bad behavior continues. No more. It’s affecting my well being. I’m done.

[lizbeth4]

Kathryn, Thanks for your post and support. Youv e really been busy! The concert with your Daughter sounds amazing. You can grow veggies. I never did till I moved into my house 5 years ago. Now I have quite the green thumb. I’m glad your quitting smoking is going well. It’s just the habit of having one in your hand. Have a great weekend.

[lizbeth4]

I’m going to the city Sunday and most of Monday to visit a dear friend if 29 years that I consider a Sister. I’m really looking forward to it.

[lizbeth4]

I love my job! It is hard work. I must be doing it well as I already was given $1 an hour raise! There is nothing wrong with being a cleaner. Kathryn, I let my Mom and Sister bully me, demean me for way too long. I wouldn t let anyone else talk to me that way. So with that, I am to blamne. I’m only goid for helping them out with money, (When I had it) or doing things for them. Other things happened when she visited that if someone had done them to her, she would have cane unglued. In reality, they didn’t really want to include me in on their plans. I keep letting myself get hurt. I keep thinking things will change. My Sister was the one to start the Thanksgiving problem and my Mom went along with her. It ends right now! I cant do this anymore. I won’t let this cause me to gamble. I will put my energy and love into my children and Grandchildren. Life is too short.

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