[lizbeth4]

My Sister and Mother are CG’S also. I just wished we could have done something together. My Sister text me saying that they were home now. I declined to go over there as the weather is getting bad and honestly, I’m a little miffed with both of them.
Vera, I’ve banned myself from the casino in town. I can’t gamble there or anywhere. I have to stick to my budget. Soon my Granddaughter will be living with me and I will be financially responsible for her until my Daughter can start supporting her. I have a lot on my plate but gambling can’t be a part of it!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Feeling a bit low today. My Mom and Sister are at the casino again. They couldn’t do something else to include me. Oh well. I guess I expected too much.
My youngest Daughter asked for more money yesterday. I had to say no as I am broke till the 22nd. I did feel bad for saying no but I’ve helped her 2 times already this month.
I think I’m turning off my phone for the rest of the day. Don’t feel like talking to anyone.

[lizbeth4]

Cleaned both banks tonight! Clean 1 tomorrow and then I have Sunday and Monday off because of Presidents day. Yeah! I hadn’t planned on going to my Mom’s house today but my Sister called and wanted me to come over for lunch. I had a delicious mixed green salad.
The gambling urges have lessen again. I just keep saying my prayers over and over.
My Daughter started learning to drive a semi today. She says that she will get used to it the more she practices. She’s doing great!
I’m going to start cleaning and reorganizing my kitchen drawers and cabinet tomorrow. Keeps me busy and I love to be organized and clutter free.
Movie time, then bed.

[lizbeth4]

Sorry that your week has been so stressful! Hopefully you can decompress and get some rest. I know that you feel guilty about your Sister but you have to think about yourself. Yov have helped her a lot. Have a good weekend!

[lizbeth4]

You’re a good person! We don’t get to pick our family members. If someone is toxic, you have the right to cut them out of your life. My Mom is toxic and I see her on my terms and when I want to. My Sister turns toxic around my Mom.. I treat her the same as my Mom. My Mom has gone to the extreme measures of trying to turn my 2 grown Daughters against me but didn’t succeed. Very vindictive and evil.
It took many years to come to that point and a lot of pain. You had the insight at a young age to recognize that. Ir has spurred many gambling binges!!! It’s good that you recognize the connection.
Sherri, take care of yourself first and everything else will follow. Do what’s right for you. Follow your gut instincts. You are doing well. Keep going!

[lizbeth4]

When I finally calculated all the money I’d spent on gambling, I was disgusted and sick!!! The way to redeem ourselves is to not gamble again! I keep the amount I’ve blown in my head, a big deterrent but I know it’s gone and will never be recovered. Just living a gamble free life is redemption! Keep doing what you are doing. Take care and have a great weekend!

[lizbeth4]

I’ve had a very turbulent, emotional last few days! It happens every time my Sister is thrown in the mix. It takes me a few days to adjust and be tolerant of her attitude.
She is extremely concerned for my Moms health. We both urged her to call her DR. My Sister is getting first hand experience with what I deal with concerning our Mom. It was a eye opener for her.
The gambling urges came and went. I kept on praying for God to give me strength. I made it through. I don’t want the gambling hang over feeling. I want to have self worth and respect. I want to reach my goal of being debt free.
All these thoughts have kept me from gambling! I keep striving to be a better me.

[lizbeth4]

Kind of dreary outside. I managed to swing by my Mom’s house. My Sister’s attitude has changed. My Mom had a incident at the casino last night and my Sister wanted to take her to the hospital but she refused. I do think my Mom is unwell but she doesn’t want to do anything about it. I guess I’ll find her collapsed in her home sometime. I don’t understand her?
I have a major headache!!! No gambling urges!!!

[lizbeth4]

I woke early and I’m just lying here. I was a little miffed at my Sister yrsterday. She throws around her abundance of money like she is a queen or something. She keeps saying that she came to visit Mom. Is that a cue that I need to leave??? Kinf of mean! She keeps telling me things I need to do concerning my Granddaughter. She has no contact with her 5 Grandchildren. She is really rubbing me thr wrong way with her attitude.
Anyways, I have errands to do today. I will make a quick stop by my Mom’s and then come home. I have things I can be doing in preparation of my Granddaughter staying here. Not playing games with my Sister.
When I felt the anxiety, stress and gambling urges yesterday, I just prayed. I felt relieved.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Nick for your post. It is always good to spend time with our children and Grandchildren. It makes us realize what’s really important. Great job on the exercise.

[lizbeth4]

Nick, it’s so awesome when we spend time with our children and Grandchildren. My oldest Daughter found out tonight when she called that my Granddaughter will be living with me. She was very supportive and said she would help me when she could. She and her boyfriend have permits to hike down the Grand Canyon in April. My Granddaughter and I will be going to the city to stay with my Grandson. Fun!! I’ve finished work. My Sister and Mom are at the casino. I don’t want to hear the complaining tomorrow. Today was more pleasant for me. A few times during the day, I said prayers when I felt overwhelmed. It truly helped. Feeling positive and content.

[lizbeth4]

I needed to hear your wise words before I start my day. I’m starting my day with prayer and meditation. When I feel discouraged, anxious and overwhelmed, I will pray and give it to God. Yes Vera, God has been with me. I think I do sometimes lose sight of this.
Vera, I’m dealing with a government agency so I’ll probably be charged the fee but I will protest. I have the mans ID number and I will file a complaint against him!
I think that God is sending my Granddaughter to me to care for. I need her as much as she needs me. Havea good day everyone.

[lizbeth4]

I had a really off day. After talking to the creditor and waiting so long on the phone, I was overwhelmed and had anxiety. Hw gave me the wrong information and when I questioned him, he said he knew what he was talking about. I’ll probably get a default letter next monrh and have to call again, wait for a long time on the phone and be charged $89 to reinstate my agreemenr with them!!!! Ugh!! It threw me into a tailspin and all I could think of was what a financial mess I’m in. 5 loans, car loan, credit card debt consolidation payment, ect…. I’m at the point that if I gamble again, I won’t recover financially. 85% of this debt is from gambling episodes.   I looked at the big picture and started stressing. But I will have 3 loans and my car paid off by the end of the year. I lnow I have to have faith that everything will work out. But I can’t save a emergency fund and if anything happens again with my home, I’m in trouble. I can’t even buy tires. Frustrating. So, any suggestions on how to stay focused and have faith instead of freaking out???????? My Daughter and I talked today. My Granddaughter should be living with me in 4 weeks. My Daughter will then be driving with a mentor driver for 3 weeks before she’s on her own. My Sister is coming for a few days and staying with my Mother. I live right down the street. She text me today to ask if i was hungry for anything special. She likes to cook. So she’s making shrimp alfredo for me. That was nice of her. I’m going to bed. Totally wiped out!

[lizbeth4]

Hi idi. I’m glad your plan worked.

[lizbeth4]

Feeling unmotivated. Still in pjs. Just dealt with the last creditor who will get a late payment. I was on hold for 1 hour and 18 mins because of high volume calls. What a pain! Going to take a shower and get myself going. Hopefully I can get out of this mood.

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