[lizbeth4]

Oh my Monica! That’s scary, passing out. I hope your condition is diagnosed soon and you start feeling better. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

My Granddaughter asked for Mommy once today and said she missed her. I showed her pics of Mommy driving the truck and she said ok. Such a sweet girl. My Mom watched her while I cut and shaped some large hedges in my front yard. I always like it when I’ve accomplished a project. Then we went to the park and played. She’s napping now and I’m relaxing a little.
I talked to my CG friend whose Husband is in remission (cancer). They are finally going to do some travelling and have some trips planned. I was hoping they would before he is sick again.
I’m feeling a bit better health wise. I’m eating better, drinking more water and putting my Granddaughter in the stroller and walking more. I know what to do. I just have to make the changes a habit.
No gambling thoughts! Living each day as fully as I can. Solving problems and issues that I can and giving everything else over to God.

[lizbeth4]

Today is a day for renewed hope and blessings! My youngest Daughter just left for the city. Her stay was too short. She has a Dr and Dentist appointment tomorrow. Her mentorship is over. She has to complete a written and driving test and then will be given her own truck and will go solo. This will happen within 3 days.
My Granddaughter had a enjoyable day with Mommy. Easter egg hunting was a hit. She even had a few chocolates. She didn’t cry when Mommy left as I told her that Mommy had to drive the big truck. We have pictures to show her of Mommy being in the truck so I think being able to visuize it helps her.
The next year will be hard as my Daughter will be on the road and only have 3 days off per month. It’s a hard job but she will do it! Then her schooling will be paid off and she can drive with another company if she wants.
I didn’t get any time to myself as my Daughter was exhausted being on the road for nearly 6 weeks. But that’s alright. We spent as much time as we could together. I fixed a nice lunch and my Mother came over.
My gambling urges have lessen. I’m reading self help books and staying busy. I’m living in the present.

[lizbeth4]

I lost it with my Mom today! She does nothing but gripe and complain. I finally had enough! Yes, she is helping me with my Granddaughter so I can get my yard work done and small home projects finished. She is never happy. I even did her grocery shopping as well as mine. I did call and apologize later but she still doesn’t get it. That’s why I can only take her in small doses. Who complains about a 2 year old? We all know how unpredictable they are. I guess I will need to limit the time I leave my Granddaughter with her.
I thought about gambling today but neither have the money or a babysitter. Good thing!!!!

[lizbeth4]

My Mom helped with my Granddaughter again today! My lattice project is completely finished! I have 4 more projects that I will start working on tomorrow. Doing things and staying busy help me with the gambling urges.
The house next to me sold. The couple are around my age and very nice. YEAH.
I have implemented some new eating habits that are seeming to help my tummy problems. I must remember self care.
I’m very tired. Heading to bed. Good nite.

[lizbeth4]

Monica, yes I need to find my balance. Vera, my Daughter will only be here for 2 days but I will take advantage of the time. The closest GA meeting is 2 1/2 to 3 hours round trip for me, depending on the traffic. It is not doable right now! I consented to taking care of my Granddaughter for 1 year. I will do it! She and I are still adjusting.
The gambling urges may come and go. I will use my barriers and committed to my recovery to get through.
Thank goodness my Mother is helping. I was able to mark off a small house project today. Yeah!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Velvet for your post on my thread. I haven’t been taking good care of myself and it’s starting to show. I’m having tummy problems, not eating right and my sleep is off. For some reason my Granddaughter’s schedule has been off kilter the last week. I’m trying to get her back on track. I’m also putting the effort back into myself and my health. I will get there.
My lattice project has to wait another day as we had rain last night and everything is wet. Also, it’s going to be cloudy all day. Tomorrow is a new day!
Although I love my Granddaughter immensely this is a big life change for me. I think that is where some of my emotions are coming from. Velvet, I’m still not feeling 100%, so I do agree that is affecting my emotions also. Some days I’m running on reserved energy. It makes me wonder if I’m doing right by my Granddaughter. I start second guessing myself.
But things will get better. Still having phone issues. Having trouble accessing this site. Ugh@
I’ve had gambling urges lately. I think it’s connected to my mood. Getting through them!!

[lizbeth4]

I’m sorry that your vacation didn’t go as planned. Being unwell on a vacation is the worse. Glad that you are home and things are getting better. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Feeling a bit overwhelmed and low this morning. Don’t know why. Baby is still sleeping. Pulling myself together. Having some tea and light breakfast. I must remember to take of myself also. I think I’m not sleeping enough. Resting while my Granddaughter is napping would help.
Her Dr’s checkup is this afternoon. He is the same DR who delivered her. I’m curious where she is on the height chart. I think she is going to be very tall!
Gambling- I’ve had some crazy nightmares where I was gambling with friends whom I know don’t gamble??? I wonder what that means. Still gamble free and I intend on staying that way.
Going to work on my house project on Wednesday as tomorrow we are expecting rain. My Granddaughter and I cleared the garden area for planting next month. She loves tomatoes so we will be planting plenty of them.
I’m still working on my issues. The big ones being that I don’t have control over other peoples actions and that most of the things I worry about are from over thinking. Living in the present is what matters. I’m getting it and growing.

[lizbeth4]

What did you do to help you quit gambling for a year? There are a lot of tools for us to use to help us with this addiction, GA, counseling, banning, blockers, ect… Unfortunately, you will probably have to tell your Wife at some point.
I think from experience, is when I figured out what my triggers were and what I was escaping from, I was able to get a grip on my addiction and I really wanted to work recovery.
It is never too late to stop gambling. You can do It!

[lizbeth4]

I’m very sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. When my Husband died, my gambling addiction became worse. I have been going to counseling since. It does help. Also, a grief support group may help also. I know it did for me.
One day at a time! Grief is terrible. Maybe you can ask someone you trust to help with your finances so you can get current on your home mortgage. Don’t give up!

[lizbeth4]

Made it to the park before the rain. Did a little grocery shopping. I think both of us have a virus. Runny nose, not feeling 100% No fever though. Monday my Granddaughter has a Dr’s appointment, check up. We will see what’s going on.
Today she is going to my Mom’s for 2 hours while I paint some lattice work on my house. It needs to be weather proofed again.
All monthly bills are paid. Still have partial property tax bill that will be late and some car repairs that have to wait. Still digging out of debt, loans used to cover gambling losses. Going to call the companies next week and get updates on my accounts. 2 should be almost paid off.
My Mother suggested that I lift my ban here at the casino and gamble every so often to get out of the house. She doesn’t get It! Sadly, she is also a CG and introduced me to gambling. I just said no, I have better things to do with my money.
My youngest Daughter should be home on the 18th. In time for Easter. She’s ready to see her baby. Life goes on!

[lizbeth4]

One day at a time. Really! Just get through today and the next and the next. Massive debt can be overwhelming and depressing! I know! But if you can stop the gambling, you can dig yourself out! Barriers, handing over cash and cards to someone you trust. Paying bills first! Getting through each week with a limited amount of cash on you. Small things but things that really work! Have you considered GA meetings and or counseling? It really helps. You can do this!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your recent post on my thread. Much appreciated. I am staying gamble free also. Congrats on your 90 day pin.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your kind words. I live my life with many things that I’ve learned during my journey on GT. One day at a time is the biggest one. Also, I live in the now! I live with meaningful intention. I’ve let go of the past and things that are out of my control. Life is strange. I never thought that I would have another Grandchild but I was blessed with my precious Granddaughter! Who would have thought that she would be living with me? Sometimes it is overwhelming but it is totally worth every minute!
I have been able to experience some firsts with her. Yesterday she had her first haircut. She did well and she was so precious. My favorite thing is when she says, I love you Nana. It always makes my heart melt.
We aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow, so I want to live my days doing what I love and enjoy. I don’t miss gambling at all. I have thoughts sometimes but not strong urges. Life continues to be good!

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