[lizbeth4]

Thanks for sharing your story! I grew up in a poor family. As soon as I could work, 12 years old, babysitting, Yard work, I bought all of my essentials, such as clothing, ect. I grew up with gamblers and alcoholics. Strangely, I ‘ve never liked the taste of alcohol but in my 30’s started gambling after a painful divorce.
I do believe that we emulate some things that we are surrounded by in our environment as children. Each of my siblings have an addiction.
Your story about the missed meal broke my heart. Certain things and events stick in our minds forever. I am in my early 60’s and have done some real growing up and soul searching the last few years. Growing and learning never stops.

[lizbeth4]

Happy Mother’s Day to you also! We spent the afternoon eith my Mom and Sister again as my Sister is going home tomorrow. My Granddaughter was in a better mood today. I’m sure she is missing Mommy as Mommy is really missing her.
I’m not interested at all in gambling. Even though urges appear here and there. The consequences are too big!
I’m anxious to plant my lavender. She also gave me some fresh rosemary, dill and sage which I am drying.
I’m saving for a manicure, pedi and eyebrow wax. Maybe next month. A little self care !
Be careful RG, it’s easy to isolate. I’m notorious for that. Sometimes I have to push myself to go to something and most of the time, I’m glad that I Did! Also, marriage isn’t easy. My late Husband and I were married 31 years (second marriages for both of us) and we had a lot of ups and downs! Hang in there!

[lizbeth4]

Happy Mother’s Day to all!! My Sister made a nice dinner last night. She bought me a lavender plant for my backyard. My Granddaughter was cranky and whiney all day. I felt exhausted.
Today, I received Happy Mother’s Day wishes from both of my Daughters. We are just staying home today.
My Mom and Sister are at the casino. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me. I know that I can’t gamble responsibly. It’s not my thing anymore.
Calling the home warranty place tomorrow. I feel like I can deal with it now! Hopefully it’s a easy fix. Staying positive!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your support! I’m making progress financially and will see results soon. I’m glad that I didn’t fall back into the high interest loan scam again! Yes, I am being tested but I will get through this!! Things could be worse.
We bathed and showered and did laundry at my Mom’s. I stocked up on water. LOL! My Sister is coming for the weekend and making Mother’s Day lunch for us.
Things will get better!
I’m feeling better emotionally. I had a good cry this morning before my Granddaughter woke up. It felt good to release the tension. I will call my home warranty on Monday and they will contact the plumbing company. Next week it will be fixed.

[lizbeth4]

So this morning I started to do something really stupid! I almost took out another high interest loan (because of my poor credit). I stopped myself when the costumer rep told me how much my payment was going to be per month. By the end of this year I will have 3 loans paid off and my car, freeing up a nice sum of money!
It will be sometime next week when the plumbers come out! If all else fails, my Granddaughter and I can go to my Mom’s until we resolve this issue.
I can feel myself sinking back into a depression. I have to not go there.

[lizbeth4]

Yesterday wasn’t a good day. My Granddaughter’s sleep times are off again. We both had little sleep. We both took late naps and so she is sleeping in again!! Urrrr!
I’ve turned off the water to the house. I can’t locate the leak but my water usage has doubled!!! I don’t want to crawl under the house. We can shower and bathe at my Mom’s. I’m going to see if my home warranty will pay for repairs. They have in the past. Always something!
It is what it is! I’m taking deep breaths and calming myself down. Gambling thoughts have entered my head but I’m not acting upon them.
Waiting for my Granddaughter to wake up. Going to the park then to the store for water (large amounts). Ummm, counting my blessings instead of focusing on my problems.

[lizbeth4]

Do what’s best for you!!!! You deserve more. Sometimes we settle. Follow your gut instincts. Have a good day!

[lizbeth4]

I’m glad that you are feeling hope again. I’ve never heard of SMART. I think we all have different paths to recovery. I’m happy that this is working for you. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your post. What do I like about gambling? Ummm, I guess the escape that it provides me. I don’t think about anything else till I’ve lost my money and have to face reality. I get lost while gambling and don’t have to face life!
I’m broke because of gambling. Credit cards, loan repayments. I have to learn a lesson. Gambling isn’t for me!
Things are better today. I had a long video chat with my Youngest Daughter . When she is home, she is going to check out the issue at my house. Then we will go from there. It was good just to be able to talk to someone about it. When it rains it pours. The washer and then this issue. But you are right RG, I have weathered much worse. I will get through this! Thanks for your support!

[lizbeth4]

Somethings are going on with my house that are causing me concern and stress. I’m not going into detail but it’s triggered major gambling urges. I haven’t the money or opportunity, or I would be GAMBLING right now!!!! I don’t like feeling this way.
I haven’t slept well and I’m experiencing stomach issues due to the stress. This too shall pass.

[lizbeth4]

Wow! You are going through a lot!! I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better for you. I often wonder why so much is placed on someone. Life can be hard and unpredictable!
I’m thinking of you and wishing the best. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Spent the morning at the park playground. We had it all to ourselves. I connected with a dear friend via emails. She helped me through my Husband’s illness and death. She’s known my Grandson since he was 2 years old and adores him. It was good to talk to her.
My youngest Daughter video chatted with me for over 1 hour. She is coming home on the 17th for 2 days. She’s missing her Daughter.
I was productive today and sold 2 items that didn’t sell at my last yard sale. I posted them online and they were bought within 2 hours. A little money for miscellaneous stuff.
No gambling thoughts! I like the way my head feels clearer. I’m dealing with life so much better and enjoying it more!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thank you for posting on my thread. I guess you hadn’t read that I quit my part time job as I have my Granddaughter full time now while my Daughter is on the road for 1 year. Life is hectic but worth it.
Congrats on your gamble free time! Enjoy your vacation as you deserve it. Take care and post when you can.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve spent a enjoyable , laid back day with my Granddaughter! No gambling thoughts or urges today! I may not have everything I want but I have everything I need. My mindset is a lot different these days. I take nothing for granted and I am thankful for everything! Life is more simple and enjoyable.

[lizbeth4]

Sorry that you are going through some health issues. I hope you feel better soon!

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