[lizbeth4]

Sitting here with having 4 hours of sleep! Once I’m up I’m up! Everything is good here but my Granddaughter’s sleep times. The Dr’s advice is to not let her nap. Yep! I’ve done that. I thpught about giving her low dose of melatonin but her Dr. isn’t keen on it. Not enough research on long lasting affects. So I won’t go that route!
Really getting into the Carr book. RG, I can see where it has to be reread several times.
I saged my house yesterday. I’m hoping to get rid of bad energy and forces. Many of my family members are psychic. I can’t really get into details. I think my Granddaughter is also. She has said a few things that make me believe so. I’m wondering if that is messing with her sleep?
I was thinking of my major gambling days, right after I had retired. I would stay in the casino for 12 hours plus! I didn’t eat. I would take out my daily cash limit from the ATM and then go to the cashier for cash advances. The thought of wasting all of that money is sickening!! Whatever I won was put back into the machines the next day. I never had a BIG WIN. I only contributed to the casino. It was a lonely time!!! I never want to relive that again!!! It almost did me in, both physically and mentally. Some lessons are hard and painful.

[lizbeth4]

My sleep is still suffering. I did manage a quick nap while my Granddaughter was taking a late nap. I’ve been getting up at 6am every morning. My day was full of laundry and cleaning and inside play. Tomorrow will be spent outside. We are playing with play doh and she is loving it. We only have strawberries now. The peaches and veggies will be ready at the end of this month. She loves picking strawberries! I like the book. I’m sure I will be rereading it. I like his perspective on gambling. It makes sense. I have to read in small spurts with a toddler around. Yes, we have snakes. I’ve seen a few in my yard and I’ve just left them alone. I’ve seen raccoons, rabbits, squirrels, bobcat, deer, elk, skunks and javalina, ducks, geese. We have had bear and mountain lions spotted in town. We have some of the prettiest birds. In fact, at one of our parks that have 2 lakes, we have a pair of eagles that visit every year. They are banded, and come quite a distance to travel here. It’s quite different from my city living most of my life. I like my haircut and the convenience of someone coming to my house. Next week I’m getting a pedicure. Self care! I am quit happy with the 9 movies and 3 music cds I purchased recently at the thrift stores. Isn’t funny how I try to save money but for years threw it away gambling? I revised my cell phone service and cut the price in half. Next month, I’m getting internet!!! It’s been over 1 year since I cut it. Gambling has taught me a lot about myself. I’ve learned many hard lessons. But I’m glad that I’ve recognized it’s evil hold and I’m doing something pisitive about it.

[lizbeth4]

You are not too broke to be fixed!!! That was a disgusting, mean thing for anyone to say especially someone whose job it is to help others!!!
Hang in there! I’ve been on a DMP for quite some time and I’m seeing results. Don’t give up! You need to find something that works for you. GA is hard since you’re dealing with so many personalities. Some groups I’ve fouind helpful and some, I got up and left never to return. It’s not for everyone.
RG turned me on to the Allen Carr book about gambling. I’m finding it very interesting and relating to what he is saying. Maybe give it a try???
You’re never alone. We are here to support each other. Keep your chin up!!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Woke early. Another hard night getting my Granddaughter to settle down. I’m not sure what’s going on. I’ve tried everything. I’ve decided to “sage” my house (a old Indian practice) To remove any bad energy.
Oh, I had a message from my ex boss early this morning. Eould I be interested in cleaning the banks next week? Ummm, my answer was no. No babysitter.
Getting my haircut, doing some grocery shopping and some outside time with my Granddaughter. Looks like it’s going to be a good day.

[lizbeth4]

My hair appointment was moved to tomorrow. Can’t wait to get my bangs cut! My Granddaughter and I spent a great portion of the day outside. She played in her little swimming pool.
I’m eating more nutritiously and have lost 3 pounds, 22 more to go!
I’ve started the Carr book. Very interesting and makes sense. I need to be working my recovery. My Granddaughter is a deterrent but I feel like I’m getting complacent.
I’m exhausted tonight. Going to bed.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks RG for your support also. I value the people here. The advise has been so helpful to me.
My new next door neighbors had a recent loss in their family. His Sister just passed. They’ve asked me to take in some packages they are expecting and to water their rose bushes as they will be out of state for a week. Of course I said Yes! No problem!
I really like them although I usually don’t get too friendly with neighbors because of bad past experiences.
My Granddaughter was very energetic today and has just feel asleep. I’m hoping she will sleep through the night.
The woman who cuts my hair has a salon and twice a week does home calls. She’s coming tomorrow to cut my hair. Yeah!
Next week a pedicure. Self care-the best medicine.

[lizbeth4]

I wanted to tell you how sorry I was to hear of Pete’s Sisters passing. Life is precious and we shouldn’t take one minute for granted. Take care!

[lizbeth4]

I’m sorry to hear that you relapsed! This addiction does a number on us! Hang in there and keep trying.

[lizbeth4]

Today’s been very interesting! My friend came for a visit and backed into my outside lamp post, knocking it down. Her Husband has fixed it. They are going to replace the light globe as it was cracked. Throughout all of this I didn’t freak as I would in the past. I find myself much calmer these days.
I’ve come to some realizations lately about my life. I’ve wanted to control people and situations to fit into what I thought they should be. I only have control of my own reactions and actions. I’ve also learned not to expect anything from anyone. To do things with a loving heart. To be a kind person. That if I want something to change in my life then it’s up to me to make that happen. And the biggest revelation is to face my fears head-on. I’m the only one holding me back!
Life is what we make it! Through the happy times, sad times, trials.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks RG for your post! My Granddaughter’s thumb is back to normal, no swelling.
I was able to get out of the house-solo for a few hours. I found the popsicle forms I needed for the Strawberry/banana yogurt bars I’m making. I searched some of the thrift stores and found a total of 10 movies and 3 music cds. It was senior day so I got a extra 25% off. Oh, I purchased a cute summery blouse for myself. A teal color. I went by my Mom’s and took her truck to fill both tanks.
Limited sleep again! Have a slight headache. I’m going to continue on my quest to get my Granddaughter’s sleep times changed.
I like the path that I’m curving out for myself. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will be debt free!
There’s no way that I’m letting gambling ruin That!

[lizbeth4]

I felt so bad! One minute she was standing by me and the next screaming, my thumb! It was that fast! She has been exhausted today from a lot of crying and she didn’t like the firemen envading her space.
I believe in Guardian Angels also. I had my life saved once from a horrible near fatal accident with a semi!! I will always believe that my Husband and Grandmother saved me. I’ve also witnessed people who should have been seriously injured or died survive with minor injuries. Obviously, someone was watching over them.
She is a Godsend to me! I’ve moved things out of reach today and put some child proof locks on some drawers. It makes me feel better!
My Daughter told me to chill out! LOL!!!
I haven’t had any gambling thoughts or urges lately. I’m so busy and working towards goals. 1 loan was paid off today and 2 others in July. My car will be paid off in September and 2 other loans in December. 2 out of 5 credit cards will be paid off in August. I’m so happy! All of that money will be going into my savings account for a emergency fund and to fund my next goal of traveling!!!!!
This journey has been hard!! But I won’t go back to where I started. I can’t gamble!!

[lizbeth4]

Sending you hugs)))))) It will get better!

[lizbeth4]

OMG! Today! While I was doing dishes my Granddaughter stuck her thumb into a open vent in my dishwasher. She was standing right next to me at the time. I tried everything to get it out. I was going to cut the hard plastic tabs but was afraid as she was freaking out. I had to call 911 and they did exactly what I was going to do to free her! Thank goodness her thumb is okay.
I’ve noticed that she is getting more inquisitive so I’m installing more childproof locks, ect…. ..
So, it’s been a exhasting day!!!
I get 3 hours to myself tomorrow as my friend is watching my Granddaughter so I can have some ME time. I’m getting a pedi and going to some of my favorite thrift stores.
Ummm, tomorrow is another day!

[lizbeth4]

Another short night for me! I still can’t seem to get her sleep times turned around. Another late night but regardless I’m a early riser. I watered my rose bushes and veggie garden. Tomorrow, I’m going to fertilize and cull the peach tree. As my Granddaughter loves ice cream, I cored and froze a lot of strawberries. Next week I’m buying a popsicle mold and making strawberry, yogurt bars. Much mote healthy. I was so upset by my Sister recently. I confronted her, something that I rarely do. I told her that she really hurt me and that I wasn’t going to tolerate it again. She apologized and said she was sorry. I don’t know if this will stop her but I felt better voicing my feelings. Today I’m feeling a little down. Probably from lack of sleep. I’m still working on my list of to do things around my home. Maybe by the end of the summer I will have it finished! LOL! I also need to lose 25 pounds. I’ve stopped buying junk food and my Granddaughter and I are taking evening stroller walks. It will take perseverance but I will get there! I’ve learned that nothing is impossible if you’re willing to do the work!

[lizbeth4]

The CD is Thomas Rhetts new one. (Country-pop) Love it! The 2 bracelets are Christmas gifts. I can’t wait to get started on them. I spent way, way less than what I would have gambling and I have something to show for my money.
I filled up my Granddaughter’s new pool. She had so much fun playing in it. Tomorrow, we are going to practice on her new trike I bought her last Christmas.

[Author]

Posts