[lizbeth4]

My front yard looks fantastic! I’ve let so many things go as I didn’t have money due to expenses incurred because of past gambling. My backyard is getting done in August and September as it is very costly.
RG, I know once I start, I will have a hard time stopping. I’m glad that you are going to the gambling therapist. You can do this!! I know you can!!!
I have some broken blind slats in my home and I’ve measured and ordered some replacements. All the little things are adding up and I’m getting things fixed, replaced and beautified. I’m so happy!!!!!

[lizbeth4]

My Daughter is feeling better today! She has another truck and new travel plans and takes off again tommorow. As I think that everything happens for a reason, maybe she needed to stop the drunk driver before he plowed into a car and killed someone.
Today, I had gambling urges but rode them out. The next 2 days, I’m getting numerous trees trimmed and shrubbery cut back. I need every penny to complete this. It’s something I’ve let go and badly needs to be done!!!
I was able to afford to order the cabinet for my Grandsons room to display his legos. Little things are adding up and I’m getting home projects finished because I have the money.
I made the last payments on 2 loans today! How embarrassing the amount of loans and credit cards I incurred while gambling. I’m accomplishing so much and I’m proud of myself.
I can’t let my guard down or become complacent as I know the gambling monster is just waiting to find a way in!

[lizbeth4]

I’m sorry that you have gambled! Please don’t beat yourself up. Try to implement more barriers and support. I know you can do this! Don’t give up! Keep posting!!

[lizbeth4]

I’m sorry that you have gambled! Please don’t beat yourself up. Try to implement more barriers and support. I know you can do this! Don’t give up! Keep posting!!

[lizbeth4]

My Daughter was involved in a accident yesterday. The other trucker waa drunk and arrested on site. Her truck is totaled but she is ok. Shaken up a bit!!! How scary!! She’s about 1800 miles from me so no hugs but many video chats!

[lizbeth4]

The lunch was nice today then my Mom started her nonsense. Without going into detail, it’s not my business and I don’t care. I told her that I didn’t have time for it. Gossiping isn’t my thing. She got nasty and left.
Kathryn, even though I have power of attorney, I can’t force my Mom into any medical testing without her consent. I would have to petition the court and prove that she’s incompetent. She won’t go for any testing. And I don’t have good family support. My Sister will probably bale on me.
I’m trying to take care of myself. I’m no good to anybody if I get run down.
3 elk were down at the pond this evening. Beautiful creatures. I’m so lucky to have this beauty surround me.

[lizbeth4]

My new neighbor brought over a watermelon for my Granddaughter. So sweet! She told me again that she would watch my Granddaughter if I needed to run to the store or do errands.
I’ve invited my Mom for lunch tomorrow. I purchased salmon, toss salad stuff and sweet potatoes. I need to keep her close as possible and make her feel wanted and loved. Whatever is happening with her we will have to face together.

[lizbeth4]

We received the play kitchen this morning. I was able to put it together before my Granddaughter woke up. She told me that she loves her kitchen! LOL!
I talked to my Daughter today about my Mom. We both think the dementia is getting worse. She is getting angrier! Maybe she’s also scared because she realizes that she’s changing. Ived tried to talk to her about this subject before but with no answers. She closes up!
I will find a babysitter from now on or take my Granddaughter with me. I’m concerned about my Granddaughter’s care.
Not gambling keeps my mind clear. I never once was angry with my Mother. In the past, I would have told her so. Yesterday while talking to her, I could tell nothing was getting through to her so I stopped. Things will keep deteriorating with her and decisions will have to be made. It sad!
Now I can focus on issues and make good decisions. I don’t have my gambling issues looming over me.

[lizbeth4]

Yesterday was a hard and draining day! My Mom babysat for 2 hours so I could do some grocery shopping, ect…. I’d packed food for my Granddaughter. She feed her nothing but sweets, cake, ice cream and pudding. She had a new outfit on and it was covered in chocolate. I don’t understand. Nevertheless, I was unhappy. My Granddaughter was jacked up on a sugar rush all afternoon. Then my Mom started on how my Sister has a boyfriend and I don’t. I don’t want one and I’m not looking. My Sister is not happy with her situation but my Mom can’t see it. This is why I’m hesitate to go around her. She is ridiculous!!
It never stops with her. She’s one of my biggest triggers. I love her because she’s my parent and I feel obligated to make sure that she is alright but as a person, she’s not nice. It gets old!!

[lizbeth4]

You didn’t cause my gambling thoughts! I hope that you are in a better place soon. The consequences of gambling are one of the things that deter me. I know that nothing has changed since I last stepped into a casino. It’s the same stuff. You will get thru this!!!
Yesterday was terrible! I was tired and cranky and so was my Granddaughter. My patience level was low. My insomnia is back and I don’t want to retreat to my sleeping pills. I’ve been so inactive lately that I feel like a lump. That has to change. Today we start our evening walks. I have to start somewhere!!!
My Granddaughter’s play kitchen and 4 new outfits are on their way. Another advantage of not gambling. I can buy things. Next month I’ll be forking over a tidy sum to get the trees and shrubbery in my front yard trimmed. Something that is long overdue.
I’ve been marking things off my to do list for my home. I’m more than half way through it. It feels good to see my accomplishments. This is all possible because I’m not gambling.
RG, don’t ever give up!!! I think that everytime we slip, we become stronger. You can do it!

[lizbeth4]

Feeling low today! Don’t know why. I had a fleeting thought about gambling this morning which would have required driving some distance and securing someone to watch my Granddaughter. The later stopped me! I hate it that the brain still retreats to gambling thoughts when I’m feeling down, stressed or agitated. Always on guard.
My new globe for my light post arrived this morning. I’m missing a spring on the post. You would think that one of the 3 hardware stores in town would sell springs. No! I had to go on Amazon to order some. What a pain.
We went to the grocery store this morning. We are just playing now. I don’t have the energy or desire to do much. I don’t understand my feelings at the moment. Things areooking up for me. In fact, my life is pretty much on track and where I wanted it to be after I decided the last time i gambled was the last.
Just getting through today. Tomorrow will be better!

[lizbeth4]

From babysitting I’ve found playmates for my Granddaughter. She also has a 2 and 3 year old Granddaughters. We are planning a playdate soon! I’m excited. My Granddaughter is very sweet and intelligent. She knows Mommy is coming back. I am really surprised that she doesn’t cry. She must feel really secure here. I love kids!!
RG, keep moving forward. Don’t beat yourself up. It could have been any one of us that had,gambled. I say a prayer everyday I get through without gambling. This is a hard and difficult addiction to deal with. You can do it!!!

[lizbeth4]

A busy day! I babysat for my hair stylists 2 month old Grandson. They went to the city zoo. I’ve made enough money to buy a Little Tikes kitchen for my Granddaughter!!
My Daughter left this afternoon. She played with my Granddaughter non stop and I had 2 nights of gpod sleep plus my mani and pedi! My Granddaughter didn’t cry. She told Mommy good bye and that she loved her. So sweet!
My Daughter replaced some door stops for me and showed me how to secure the globe for my light post which I’m expecting tomorrow. It was very much appreciated!
Life is good!

[lizbeth4]

Feeling much better now! My tummy has settled. That was a awful nightmare. I didnt sleep much but I was productive this morning. I watered my garden and roses, cleaned the interior of my car.
My Daughter will be here tomorrow for 2 days. I’m going to take that time for me. My main and pedi is scheduled. I’m going to shop a little and just relax.
RG, I underplanted this season as I didn’t know if I would be able to keep up with it as I have my Granddaughter. We had a false spring and it turned cold again and then warmed up. So my veggies and fruits are taking longer to mature. But I will take any fresh produce as it tastes so good!!
I haven’t kept up with my jewerly making as I can’t find the time. I’ve made 1 pair of earrings and 1 bracelet in 3 months. Both marked for Christmas gifts.
Resting while my Granddaughter sleeps. Another late night. Have a good day everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thank you friend for your post on my thread! It’s always good to see your name. I had been thinking of you!
How are you? How is your family? Please post when you can.

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