[lizbeth4]

So, today I had brunch with my Mom and Cousin who just moved here with her Husband. We had been estranged for 6 years. We had a disagreement. We’ve never been close or have seen each other a lot over the years. I initiated the meeting as I’ve decided to not have any regrets in my life! Everything went well. We may not be besties but I feel so much better that the hard feelings between us is over and that we are moving forwards.
I also made a decision that next month (My Daughter agrees) my Granddaughter is going to daycare 3 days a week. It will be good for her and me.
No gambling thoughts or urges!!!

[lizbeth4]

I still have a long way to go!! I’m learning something new about myself constantly and I’m breaking bad habits. I’m making positive changes. By the end of 2020, my goal is to be debt free and have only a mortgage and living expenses. And to bank money for my travelling!!!
So exciting!!

[lizbeth4]

Don’t give up fighting! You are worth a gamble free life! There were days in the beginning that I barely held on from gambling. For myself, it’s become easier to not gamble with time although I still do experience urges and thoughts sometimes. It seems these times are becoming fewer! This is my experience as I know that everyone is different!
Dealing with life without gambling has been challenging. I have dredged through a lot of feelings and have concluded that I need to change many things that have made me unhappy. Not a easy feat at 61 years old.
I have a small circle of friends. I seem to try to mix acquaintances as friends. This has seemed to cause me some heartache. Maybe it’s because I am gullible or lonely. I don’t know,but I’m working on this. My family dynamics hasn’t changed. The dysfunction is still there. I’m putting my efforts into my Children and Grandchildren and distancing myself as much as possible from the negativity from other family members. Boundaries are getting easier!
Life is meant to be happy. I don’t want any regrets.
RG, don’t ever give up!!!

[lizbeth4]

Well, today I paid off my car! Yeah!! I’ve decided to take that money and put it towards the last 2 personal loans I have. I’ve really made a lot of progress since I stopped gambling.
Life still throws curveballs every so often but I’ve learned that gambling doesn’t solve anything. It just makes matters worse.
My life is far from perfect but I feel more content than I have in years. Dealing with issues and problems and not escaping with gambling has made me stronger. I no longer feel responsible for someone else’s happiness. My people pleaser days are coming to a end. No more feeding into negative relationships. I’ve come a long way!!! No stopping me now!

[lizbeth4]

It’s hard to not repeat the cycle of gambling! Can you implement anything new to help you?? I basically just got tired of the aftermath feelings. I really hope that you can remain gamble free! Life is so much more satisfying and good without the gambling. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I’m still gamble free! I made it through the urges! My weekend with my oldest Daughter and Grandson was fantastic. I was sad to see them go home. One of my cousins has moved up here recently and my Granddaughter and I are going to see her this week. We have our playdate day soon. My life is full and busy.
I’ve incorporated a exercise routine into my morning schedule. I’m a bit sore but I’m not going to give up. I didn’t realize that I was so out of shape. In fact, I pulled a lower back muscle while pulling weeds. Ouch!!! Fortunately, my Daughter helped with her Neice, so I used heat and ice and was able to function again.
We picked peaches today and I sent some home with my Daughter. They are so delicious! I’m making a pie tomorrow and then I’m going to freeze a lot of them for future use!
I learned a valuable lesson last week. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s alright. Not gambling, I am having to deal with feelings and emotions. No escaping! I’m learning a lot about myself.

[lizbeth4]

Not gambling isn’t easy but I know that you are not a giver upper!!!! I don’t know the answers either. I’ve tried it all but this time recovery feels different. I feel different! I think that having my Granddaughter with me has changed my views on gambling. Anyways, don’t ever, ever give up on yourself. You are worth a gamble free life!!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Jen! Thanks. The urges have passed. Thank goodness. Today I had my feelings hurt. I won’t go into detail. I still deal with low self esteem. So I automatically think that I’ve done something wrong. When in reality the other person is just a rude person. I had to sort that out in my head. It’s hard to break the people pleaser that I’ve always been. I think that I’m too sensitive sometimes. I wish that I could just blow things off more easily.
I’ve found a play group for toddlers. It meets at a local church once a week. We are going to give it a try next week.
My Mom watched her great Granddaughter today for 2 hours. I did my big grocery shopping for the month. I purchased food for this weekend when my Daughter and Grandson are here. I’m looking forward to it!!!
I’m very blessed and grateful! I do have a good life. Gam bling can’t ever be a part of my life again!!!

[lizbeth4]

Happy anniversary! Not gambling brings many good things. Have a good day!

[lizbeth4]

Firstly, you are worth a gamble free life! Recovery is hard but the life of a gambler is harder. I also live in a remote area. There are no GA meetings and very few counselors here. I have traveled 4 hours round trip for both.
I had to cut off friendships when I stopped gambling but those people were my gambling buddies. I knew it was the way it had to be.
Check out the groups here. Keep posting! Read self help books. Stay strong.

[lizbeth4]

Hi RG! I took your advice. I figured out what is really bothering me. I’ve concluded that I am doing the best I can with the situation. I can only do what I can do. I guess it’s bothering me as I could have planned better but I’m still learning.
I guess that I’ve let myself down! I expect a lot out of myself. Maybe too much! But I will get through this.
My oldest Daughter and Grandson are coming for the weekend ! It will be nice to have them here!
Self care- sometimes it doesn’t happen with a 2 year old. But I’m working on that also.
The urges have lessen but are still lingering. I’m holding on. There is no way that I’m going back to my old ways.

[lizbeth4]

Don’t know why but I’m having intense gambling thoughts today! I’m not acting upon them but it’s a uncomfortable feeling. I hate this feeling. URG!
I’ve cleaned, done laundry ect….anything to stay busy and deter my mind. Thoughts are still there!
Tomorrow my backyard trees are getting trimmed. I’m focusing on how wonderful it will look afterwards.
I’m sure my Granddaughter feeds off of my emotions as she has been quite wild today. Plus we were both bitten by mosquitos yesterday while walking to and from the mailbox. Hydrocortisone cream is helping with the itching.
Hoping the urges cease soon!

[lizbeth4]

My Granddaughter and I are playing with play doh. Little things bring great joy! Hoping that it will rain again today. My peach tree is loaded down. The peaches have never been so large. A few more weeks and then we can pick them. I’ll be making peach pie, ect…..One of my Granddaughter’s favorite snacks are cut up fresh veggies. I didn’t plant a lot in the garden this year but I’ve had plenty of tomatoes and cucumbers. Her favs!
Life is treating me well. No complaints!
For anyone who is struggling right now with gambling, DON’T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF! Recovery isn’t easy but so worth the end results. Clearer thinking, being present for yourself and others, less stress and LIVING THE LIFE THAT YOU DESERVE TO LIVE.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Meghna for your post! Where do I start? We had a lot of visitors. My oldest Daughter and Grandson popped in for a few hours while on their way home from camping again. My youngest Daughter was here for 2 days and left yesterday. My Sister came for a 2 day visit also. I felt blessed! I was here andc present. Gambling didn’t interfere! Financial break throughs continue. My car will be paid off this month. 2 credit cards on my debt repayment plan will be paid off and I will have only 3 left that will be resolved next year. My last 2 personal loans will be paid off next year also. No more debt! This is only because I’ve not gambled and stuck to my budget. It’s so freeing! I also made myself proud as I stood my ground and boundaries with my Sister. I called her on her rudeness towards me. She apologized. Something she rarely does. I feel empowered and there’s no turning back to my old ways. Life is more worth living. Less stress.

[lizbeth4]

RG, I am so blessed as I am surrounded by beautiful forests and streams and lakes. Wildlife is abundant. It sure beats living in the city.
My weekend isn’t going as planned. My youngest Daughter was delayed and won’t be here till Monday. Good news is that my oldest Daughter and Grandson are camping nearby and I will see them this afternoon.
I am finally seeing the results of not gambling. I am present for my family and friends. My financial mess is clearing up. I make my last car payment next month and a large loan will be paid off in November. Just 2 more loans to tackle!
Something finally clicked within me. I decided that I couldn’t live the gamblers life anymore. I finally have peace within myself. Don’t ever give up! You are worth it!

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