[lizbeth4]

Thanks P and Cat for your posts.  My Husband **** this afternoon.  He had a sizure and was taken to the emergency room.  I decided I wanted to have hospice, and the hospice nurse came and we got all the paperwork done and he was transported to hospice.  When he was transfered to his bed at hospice he took his last breath.  It was a shock as he went soo fast, he was diagnoised in January.  My oldest Daughter was with me and we sat with him for awhile.  At least he didn’t die in the ER.  The social worker at hospice helped us make the arrangements for cremation and is helping us with grief support.  I have my family around me, my Mom, Sister, 2 Daughters, Nephew, and friends.  I am tired and numb right now.  But I have been grieving since we first found out he was sick.  Thanks to all here for your support, and prayers.  He is not suffering anymore!!Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole for the post and very interesting about the anorexia.  Thanks for thinking about us, it helps me alot.  A neighbor sat with Hubby this morning so I could drop the insurance papers off at the Drs.  Well, he is on vacation this week, so I will bring them back next Monday.  I didn’t want them ***** around for a week to get lost.  Another roadblock!!  That’s what it feels like!  I feel like I am really being tested, everyday.  I know there is something I need to learn from this. Hubby is doing about the same, sleeping alot, and eating hardly anything.  My Family is being awesome.  Daughter brought him 3 new bed ******* and a back pad that heats up and massages.  We are hanging in there.  Grandson will be here this afternoon and will be spending the night.  My bright star in all of this!!!  Take care everyone and have a great gamble free day.Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Hi Kathryn, I am sorry that you are going through a tough time with your Hubby.  You are a strong woman Kathryn.  Whatever decision you make, will be the right one for you and kids.  Take care of yourself too!!!Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Hi P!  I am sorry to hear that you are depressed.  Hang in there.  You are alot stronger than you give yourself credit for.  I will be thinking of you.  Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Very tired today.  Didn’t sleep much last night as Hubby was coughing alot and medicine didn’t work.  He has slept most of the day.  I have him up and sitting on the patio.  He has eaten 2 spoonfuls od applesauce.  My Mom called today and is coming down at the end of the month to stay 5 days to help.  She asked if she would be in the way.  I would appreciate her help and company.  As the garage sell didn’t have hardly any furniture, my Sister called and said she was looking for 2 recliners for me.  She is also coming by Thursday, her day off, to bring lunch and spend some time with us.  Carole, I think you are right, this sad event may bring my family back together.  Something positive has to happen from this heartbreak!! Oldest Daughter and Grandson are coming over for dinner and then she has a support meeting for a hour. I will have some special time with him.  Hanging in there is all I can say.  No thoughts about gambling today. Hope everyone had a great gamble free day.  Sorry that I am not contributing to other’s post much, I do care but never seem to have the time.Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Hi!  Dont’ give up on yourself.  Reban, put the barriers back in place.  Take care!!Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for the posts Cat and neva.  I got my car back and I am soo happy.  It is soo much easier to get my Hubby in than the truck.  I bought a shower chair and assisted my Hubby with a shower today.  I checked for the beginings of bed sore and found none.  Thank goodness!!  I gave him a nice back massage.  My Sister and youngest Nephew came over last night to visit.  I am getting a bigger support group and I am thankful!  Neva, SS disability takes awhile to get, on the average 1 to 2 years.  I know of people on it who don’t deserve it also. Hubby was coughing up a little blood this morning so I called the on call Doctor.  He said to make sure he takes the cough medicine every 4 hours and that this is common with lung cancer. He is resting now.  He did sleep well last night with the pain meds. So, the coughing has settled down for now.  Going to finish some laundry.  Didn’t think about gambling today!!  Take care everyone!!!Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks RG, i will stop being soo stubborn and accept other’s help.  My oldest Daughter is spending the afternoon with us.  Her boss lost his Mother to lung cancer, so he is very understanding and told my Daughter she could have any time off work to be with her Dad.  It took 2 trips to the pharmacy to get Hubby’s pain meds.  The weather here is terrible.  Severe rain, wind, and hail.  He took his new heartburn medicine and the pain pill and is ***** down.  I am hopeful that this will give him some relief.  I have nothing to sit on in my living room.  Was going to go to a second hand store and try to find a loveseat or recliner.  My Sister called and her work is having their annual garage sale, and it’s always a big one.  She is going to see what they have and give me a call.  All I have to do is go get it and my Daughter and her boyfriend said they would go over this weekend and pick up the loveseat or recliner for me!!! It seems like people are coming forward to help us, and I deeply appreciate it!!!  Take care everyone!!Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole and Pumkin for your posts.  Today is not a good day for Hubby. I had to call the Doctor and get some pain meds for him as he is experiencing abdomenial pain. My Newphew and Daughter’s boyfriend came and hauled off my old living room sectional couch, and my car. I am going to put the hopital bed in the living room so he has the large picture window to look out of.  Mt Daughter’s boyfriend is a mechanic and he told me he would fix my car for the parts, no labor charges.  He told me I could pay him when I had the money.  He told me not to say no as he wanted to do this for me.  I was soo thankful!!!  Carole, I hope the person at the workplace who complained about my Hubby, never has to experience the things my Hubby has.  He is never going back to work, and that was a large part of his life.  It is heartbreaking to watch. He does cough uncontrollably, especially at night.  The prescription cough medicine doesn’t help anymore.  I have to prop him up with ******* and he sleeps upright.  Please pray for us!  I know it isn’t going to get better.  Pumkin, I always have time to post to you.  You are in my thoughts.  Take care of yourself. Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Hi Jamesd, First welcome to GT. I gambled away all my retirement money plus any monies I could get hold of.  I started my gamble free journey over 2 years ago.  I have had a few slips but nothing compared to what brought me here. We all beat ourselves up, but that isn’t helping the problem.  You have to move on.  You will never recoup your money,  May I suggest that you put barriers in place, like a betfilter, giving monies, bank cards, over to someone else, limiting your access to cash, getting support here and GA meetings. GA meetings will help tremendously.  Keep yourself busy by doing things around your house, yardwork, and finding new hobbies to do.  Stay strong and keep posting.Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Hi Reds, Congrads on the birth of your new Grandson.  Thank you for your recent post, it meant alot to me.  I am soo happy he was born healthy.  Take care and stay strong.Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Bettie for the info, and thanks to both you and Kathryn for keeping us in your thoughts.  Thanks to everyone here for your support and thoughts as it helps me to stay strong.  Grandson spent the night and his allergies are horrible.  He is staying home with us today.  Hubby coughed alot last night and is still sleeping.  I am going to have to wake him in a few hours as we still haven’t received that packet from the insurance co.  I think it may have been missent. What a hassel, but something that we are ******** on to keep us going financially at some point when Hubby runs out of vacation time and sick leave, appx. 6 weeks. As retirement takes 3 months to complete.  I asked Human resources if they could speed up hs retirement under the circumstances.  And of course they said no.  I am not asking for special treatment as I don’t think he will be here in 3 months.  After 34 years with the same company, I guess he is just a body to them.  Also, someone he works with (only 6 of them and they’ve been together for 15 years) complained to the supervisor that he wasn’t doing one function of his job.  So, the last time we saw the Dr., I asked him for a note, and he said that he didn’ want him dealing with the public anyways because of the risk of infection.  I retired from the same company and I always went out of my way to help co workers who were ill, or had terminal illnesses.  Shame on them!  Kathryn you are soo right, when I am here with Hubby, it’s like we are in our own world, isolated, and when I go to the store, ect… people are rushing around, living life.  It is like our life has come to a stand still.  Every moment has become important.  I haven’t been thinking of gambling the last few days.  So much going on here.  Take care everyone and have a great gamble free day!!Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Sherrie, Reds, and Ican for your caring posts.  Both of the girls are coming around more to spend time with us.  My youngest came tonight with a miniture pink rose bush that we are going to plant and some ice cream sandwiches as that has become one thing that my Hubby will eat. Her and I were sitting outside and she broke down crying because he has lost soo much weight in the last 2 weeks.  I told her to look at the positive that he wasn’t in pain.  It is a blessing.  I was coming home from the Dr’s today and a old Michael Jackson song came on the radio," You are not alone.  I cried all the way home. " I started journaling when we found out he had cancer.  It helps me to get my emotions and feeling out and when he passes I will have those memories down on paper.  This bad thing has brought my family closer together and for that I am grateful. Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Cat for the hugs.  People don’t know what to say to you when it involves CANCER.  Some***** a hug can carry you on, especially when you are havinga bad day.  I’ve been up since 4:30, waking Hubby up so he could try to go to work.  He is too tired, he is still sleeping.  I don’t know if the quality of his life is that great as he sleeps most of the time.  The one thing that I am very thankful for is that he is not experiecing any pain. I got my yearly mammagram and they already e-mailed me saying that everything looks fine.  Thank God!  My oldest Daughter came by yesterday after work and brought a picture of my Husband and Grandson from our vacation last summer.  They are standing on the beach with the ocean behind them.  She blew it up to a 8 by 10.  So, I put it in a frame and it is sitting on his dresser.  I am also grateful that my oldest Daughter completed a rehab stay recently and is going to outpatient counceling 3 ***** a week, 3 hours each time, after work.  She is also going to support group meetings 3 nights a week.  I think that this time she is really serious about staying off the *****. This time I see a difference in her, a light shining all around her.  So, I do have positives in my life and hope.  Hope everyone has a great gamble free day!!!!Seize all the good things in life

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole for your supportive post.  Friends (like you) and family members are really helping me stay strong by the support and posiive thoughts that you are sending me.  My youngest daughter came for a visit today.  It was good to have her here.  Hubby has always had a soft spot in his heart for her. She kept it together until she left the room and lost it.  It had been 2 weeks since she had seen him last and she was upset on how he has deterioated. Both of the girls are coming around more, and it is good for us and them. His CT-scan is scheduled for the 14th of this month. So, we will know more about how the tumor is reacting to the chemo then.  He has slept most of the day. He had a ice cream sandwich today.  I don’t care what he eats as long as he eats something.  It is really strange, as he has never had a sweet tooth and now he loves sweets.  Carole, I am trying to deal with my feelings as I try to go online to a cancer support group when I can. I can’t fall apart now, there is soo much to do.  I have my moments, usually at night when he is sleeping and I’m alone,  usually when we’ve had a bad day.  It isn’t going to get better only worse.  I’m sure when it is all over, the feeling will surface and I will need grief counceling.  My oldest daughter brought over a few books for me on grief which I found really enlightening.  I am tired today, going to see if I can take a nap.  Take care everyone.Seize all the good things in life

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