[lizbeth4]

I am home from my San Diego trip. We had a awesome time. We went to Sea World and spent time on the beach. Our first day on the beach each one of us found a sand dollar that was intact, a very hard thing to do as the tide usually breaks them apart. This morning was a foggy damp day. There was hardly anyone on the beach but surfers. We spread my Husband’s ashes in the ocean and each of said something about him that we will miss. It was tearful but I feel like everyone had closure, even my Grandson. Than we sat on the beach and watched the waves in silence for awhile. It was good! I am going to start packing soon as I have 3 1/2 weeks till I close on the house and that time will go by fast. Oh, I bought souvenirs for everyone at Sea World and when we stopped for gas on the way home, the place had a lot of things out front for sale. I found 2 turtles made out of plaster with rocks inlayed into their shells. I know it sound strange but they are so awesome! I am going to put them in my new back yard and they are a remembrance of our trip. Feeling good about everything right now. I haven’t had gambling urges lately. Too busy!!

[lizbeth4]

I am getting my stuff together for our San Diego trip tomorrow. Helped my Grandson finish his book report and we are just waiting for Mom to show up. I bought a house!! Wednesday I made the 2 hour trip to see some more homes and I found one that I really liked and it felt like home to me. My condo has never felt the same since my Husband’s death. I put a offer in and they accepted right away. I am closing on November 13th. It isn’t too far from my Mother. I have a view of the pond and it has been renovated, new carpet, paint, dual pane windows,ect..and alot of updates. It is move in ready!!! I have a nice backyard area with alot of nice trees and shrubs. Also it is all electric which I wanted as most of the places also have propane, which is very costly during the winter. I am really excited!!! Nothing else going on! Hope everyone has a great day!!!

[lizbeth4]

I am getting my stuff together for our San Diego trip tomorrow. Helped my Grandson finish his book report and we are just waiting for Mom to show up. I bought a house!! Wednesday I made the 2 hour trip to see some more homes and I found one that I really liked and it felt like home to me. My condo has never felt the same since my Husband’s death. I put a offer in and they accepted right away. I am closing on November 13th. It isn’t too far from my Mother. I have a view of the pond and it has been renovated, new carpet, paint, dual pane windows,ect..and alot of updates. It is move in ready!!! I have a nice backyard area with alot of nice trees and shrubs. Also it is all electric which I wanted as most of the places also have propane, which is very costly during the winter. I am really excited!!! Nothing else going on! Hope everyone has a great day!!!

[lizbeth4]

Cat, thanks for your post and all of your support. I haven’t gambled and have no urges to do so. I love October also, the weather here is wonderful, crisp cool mornings, the leaves on the trees changing colors. Life is good!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Cat for your post. Both of my Daughter’s and I have grown closer since the death of my Husband. It was rough in the beginning but I think everyone of us were trying to make sense of his death and find our way. This coming weekend when we celebrate his life and birthday in his favorite places and spread his ashes it will bring us even closer together. Everything is falling into place. I think that I will find my house tomorrow and I could possibly close by the second or third week of November. Going to pick my Grandson up from school at noon as it is early dismissal day. Nothing else planned. Have a good day everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for thinking about me today. My day started out sad with it being my Husband’s birthday. Another first to get through. Both of my Daughter’s called me this morning with little things that they miss about their father. They both considered him their Dad as that is how he treated them. He never made a difference between them. It helped talking about good memories of him. I saw my lawyer today and filled out and signed a lot of papers for probate court. I will be going to court in about 6 weeks. The skip trace is still being conducted to find my Step-daughter. It will just take time since I had little information, just her name and last address. If for some reason she was never found, than I have to keep her proceeds for when she reappears or after 2 years I get to keep them. I have no doubt that she will be found but in the meantime I will be the personal representative once we go to court. I am going up to see 5 more properties on Wednesday morning that look very promising. Then Friday we are off to San Diego to celebrate my Husband’s birthday and life. Today was just bittersweet!!!

[lizbeth4]

Carole, I posted on your thread a few mins ago. My house hunting was disappointing yesterday. I understand that my choices are limited in a small town but really, some of these places were terrible. More work than I am willing to do. The last home I put a bid on but cancelled it this morning as I had time to think about it and there were things I really didn’t like. I am hoping that I will be able to go back this week and look before Friday as we are going to San Diego to celebrate my Husband’s birthday. Nothing else going on. Not gambling although I have had some urges. Keeping busy!1

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, It’s good that you are spending time with your Granddaughters. Turkey dinner sounds yummy!!! That is awesome that you include Danny in your plans. Carole, I understand your concern with about him getting hurt by family members but that is up to him to change his negative behaviors, only he can change himself. My first look at homes yesterday was disappointing. Most of the home I looked at were dumps needing a lot of work, which I don’t want to do. Since it is a small town, the amount of money I want to spend limits my choices. I will keep looking. My Daughter is opening a retail store with clothes and décor aimed more at the younger crowd. Part of our university is opening a campus in the town and now most of the stores cater to the older age range. She is going to continue freelancing and sub contracting work (graphic design, what she does now) as she knows the store will struggle for awhile. I was thinking the other day, we are switching environments as you moved to the city and I am moving to a smaller town. Have fun with the Grandkids and take care.

[lizbeth4]

I was just thinking about the name of my thread. Feeling hopeful, that is how I have been feeling the last few days! I sold my car today (the one that I was going to give to my Mother, but she didn’t want) and I am off to a jewelry party hosted by my oldest Daughter this evening. Tomorrow I am looking at homes to buy. I have come a long way since my first post here. A lot has changed in my life and I feel like I have grown a lot. The weather here is beautiful, 78 degrees. I have a lot to be grateful for. No gambling thoughts either!! Take care everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Today was a busy day for me. I found a realtor in the town I am moving to and on Saturday I am looking at 4 houses. She suggested no more than 4 at a time so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed. I am excited. She sent me a list and I picked out the 4 I liked. Three of them are backed by forest. Hopefully I will be in my new home by Thanksgiving so my kids and Grandson can have our holidays there. I will be going back and forth as I am still going to help out my Daughter with my Grandson. I can stay with them in their apartment. My Daughter and her business partner are opening their retail store the day after Thanksgiving. My Daughter will be up on weekends but will be in the city during the week working. My youngest Daughter and her boyfriend were over today and they are going to help me move. They said I am not paying for movers when they can do it. It looks like things are falling into place! My lawyer’s paralegal called today and I have a Monday appointment with him. Coincidently, my Husband’s 58th birthday. I hope he is going to tell me that our court date is soon. I have been doing pretty good emotionally. I still have small breakdowns but I think that is normal.

[lizbeth4]

Today was a good day! I showed my car today, he said he needed to talk to his wife first. No problem if he doesn’t want it as I will keep showing it till I get it sold. It will pay for my lawyer. My oldest Daughter is have a jewelry party are Friday, so I went over to her place today to help her clean and we went shopping for the food and drinks. She and I are getting along a lot better. It is bittersweet as I think my Husband’s death brought us together. He would be happy! It looks like it’s going to rain here. Nothing else going on. I hope everyone had a great gamble free day. Take care!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Cat! Thanks for your posts to me. You are so supportive and have such a positive, uplifting attitude!!! You should be so proud of yourself in the way that you are handling your gambling journey. I have learned over the last 6 1/2 months to put faith in God’s hands that I will be strong enough to do what I need to do to move on without my Husband. Although it has been difficult at times, I am making my way. I have had a few slips with gambling during this time but have dusted myself off and continued on my path. I am so glad that I found GT and friends like you Cat, as if I hadn’t, I think that I would have been out of control (gambling) instead of facing the pain and dealing with it. I think that when we stop working on ourselves, no matter our age or our problems, that we stop growing and become a shell of a person. I love your honesty in explaining your feelings and I get it! Take care of yourself and have a great day!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, I am glad that you are adjusting to your new life! My Daughter and Grandson are going to live with me for awhile as she needs to build her new home. She bought 40 acres about 1 hour from where I will be living. She is building a eco-friendly home and said that she would build one for me but it is too remote for my liking. Population of 3100 people. I am moving from this big city to a town of 15,000, enough of a shock!!! Change is good, hard sometimes but most of the time worth it!! I think that you are doing well with the changes you have gone through lately. It will be good when you have your own place and maybe a small yard where you can have a dog or two. I am finally getting the hang of this site and finding it easier to post. Take care of yourself!!

[lizbeth4]

Yesterday I had a appointment with my lawyer about the condo. We have decided to move forward to a formal hearing in front of a judge as the mortgage company is pushing for a personal representative to be appointed and my Step-daughter isn’t responding to the letter sent to her. It is a little more costly than I anticipated but needs to be done. I talked to the bank yesterday and I am going to get prequalified for my mortgage loan early next month. I can get a good interest rate and I intend on putting a large amount down on my new place. Then I will find a realtor in the town that I am moving to. I have a realtor here who wants to sell the condo for me. It feels strange to be selling and buying homes without my Husband. I guess it is just another part of my new journey.

[lizbeth4]

I have spent a good day with my Grandson. We bought some Halloween decorations and decorated the front windows in my condo. He is going to be a ninja for Halloween and is practicing his moves with his toy sword on me. Fun!!!

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