[lizbeth4]

My Grandson and Daughter went back to the city about 1 hour ago. They went fishing this morning but didn’t get a bite. He is getting more patient as he was able to sit and fish for 2 hours. I told him that one of these days he will catch a fish. He has caught one but it was at a trout farm. So, we have new fishing poles and tackle boxes. He will catch one sooner or later. LOL!!!! I am tired. I will be home for 2 1/2 more days before I head to the city. I am taking my Mom out for breakfast tomorrow and I am spending part of the day with her. I am going to work all day Tuesday in my backyard. I need at least one day for me. I like being alone once in a while. It helps me clear my mind. Nothing else going on.

[lizbeth4]

Cat, thanks so much for your post!!!!! We lived in the condo for 19 years, a long time. I think you are right, I am saying goodbye to my Husband again. But it is going to be alright. I know now that my new life and surroundings are awesome. I believe he is looking down on me now and saying, way to go girl!!! I am saying prayers too that the condo sells fast. Cat, when my Grandson is sad about his Papa, I let him get his emotions out and talk about it. I think that is a healthy way to deal with grief. Then I ask him to remember something funny or silly that Papa did as he was a jokester. It usually brings a smile to his face and mine. I tell him that Papa wants us to remember the silly, funny things that he did and the things that we did together. That he wants us to be happy and to have a good life. I am no expert, but that is how I help my Grandson and I get through the hard times. I have the dishwasher and washer going at my Daughters apartment as I am straightening up the place waiting for my Grandson to get out of school. Then we are heading to my new place for the weekend. Yeah!!!! Home sweet Home!!!!! Take care everyone and have a awesome, gamble free day!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for the post Carole. I posted on your thread earlier. Officially my condo goes on the market tomorrow. I met with the realtor and I came to a realistic price with some margin if I have to go down in price. I am mentally drained. It was difficult for me to sign the papers and probably will be difficult for me when it sells. It is another part of my life that I am letting go of and I didn’t think it would be so hard to do. I don’t want to lease it out as I would have to put some money into it cosmetically and I don’t have the energy to deal with bad tenants if that were to happen. One day at a time. I am hopeful that it will sell fast as it is a good deal and our landscaping is awesome and the retro-feel of the place (it was built in 1963) is quaint. We will see how much traffic I have when the open houses start and how many private showing it gets. I am going home tomorrow after I pick my Grandson up from school as he is going home with me and my Daughter is following after work. The big city doesn’t appeal to me anymore and I am homesick. I will be back in the city for 5 days again next week as we are celebrating my Grandsons birthday a week from this Saturday. He will be 8 years old. He had a rough night as he awoke from a bad dream and was crying for his Papa. He finally went back to sleep. It is so hard for him to understand that this Papa is really gone and not coming back. His Mom just held him and he cried till he couldn’t cry anymore. It is so sad and heartbreaking. But we are getting through it, that’s all we can do. I am not gambling though I have had a few urges. I found that the stress from the condo, showing the realtor and making money decisions about it made me want to gamble, (run away from my reality). But I didn’t act on my thoughts and they have gone away. I am picking my Grandson up from school soon and we are spending 3 hours together till my Daughter gets home from work. Keeping busy=no gambling for me.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole! Glad that you were able to spend some time with the Grandkids. Thanks for the offer of instructions for making a book, but my Grandsons other Grandmother (who was with him in Hawaii) took the journal and has tons of pictures and she is compiling a keepsake book for him. Nothing new here, I am going back to my house tomorrow. Yeah!!!! How is everything with you???? Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole! Glad that you were able to spend some time with the Grandkids. Thanks for the offer of instructions for making a book, but my Grandsons other Grandmother (who was with him in Hawaii) took the journal and has tons of pictures and she is compiling a keepsake book for him. Nothing new here, I am going back to my house tomorrow. Yeah!!!! How is everything with you???? Take care.

[lizbeth4]

P, thanks for your post. I appreciate what you said about me and it helps me to know that I have your support. I will try to be kinder to myself as you know, woman usually put themselves last on their list. I did make my new bedroom into my little haven. It looks awesome and is comfortable. My Grandson and I are spending the day together as it was 11:30pm when he came home. He is still telling me of his adventures in Hawaii. When he saw his Mom, he and she just hugged and held each other for a long time. It was good to see that bond between them. He is going back to school tomorrow and I am heading to the condo after I drop him off at school. I have a guy coming to pick up the old fridge (stopped working) and then I am going out to breakfast with a friend. After breakfast I have about 1 hour of cleaning to do and Thursday my realtor will come by to see the place and to tell me what she thinks I should list it for. Friday after school, my Grandson and I are going back to my new place and my Daughter will follow after work. They want to spend the weekend with me. We are going to my Mom’s on Saturday and my Daughter is going to clean the gutters on her home and we will probably have dinner together. I am making lasagna and garlic bread (both frozen) for dinner tonight. We are supposed to go to the hobby store this evening as my Daughter wants us to do 1 craft project together monthly. We are doing a tree of life wall hanging project first and need to pick up the stuff to take to my place. It is going to be awesome!! I will have original art pieces to put on my walls!!!! Nothing else going on. Tonight will be a early night as we stayed up late last night. Take care everyone.

[lizbeth4]

I am in the city. I went by the insurance company and I have all the papers that my realtor requested. I went by the condo and checked the mailbox and the condo. Wednesday I need to vacuum and mop before the realtor comes on Thursday. The last condo sold 5 months ago and at a decent price. Although my needs some cosmetic work done on it, I am hopeful that I will get a decent price for it and that it doesn’t stay on the market for a long time. Progress, I never thought I would be at this place (selling the condo) as this is the last estate issue that I need to deal with than the estate will be closed. In 2 months it will be 1 year since the death of my Husband. I don’t really remember a lot of the first few months after his death. But I have made a lot of changes (good) and gotten through a lot of the legal issues, ect… I knew I was a strong person but I surprised myself getting through a lot of these things on my own. Even though it helps to have the support of your family (a few of mine) and friends, a lot of things you have to experience on your own to get it and appreciated it as I am talking about the grieving process. I was listening to the radio on my 1 hour and 50 min. drive to the city and a song came on that my Husband loved and it brought good memories and a few tears to my eyes. He loved oldies music and this was one of his favorite songs. My Daughter posted a picture of our last vacation (LEGOLAND) with him, 9 months before his death. We were standing at the beach in front of the Pacific ocean with our Grandson. That was such a awesome vacation and beautiful picture. The days have become less challenging to get through and I am finding peace and joy and contentment again. My Grandson arrives home tonight from his trip. He called this morning to remind me that he is coming home. How could I forget?? He brings up his Papa a lot and talks about the good memories and the sadness that he isn’t here anymore. We get through this one day at a time. That is all we can do. I have had thoughts of gambling here and there but I haven’t acted on them as I know the horrific results when I get caught up in the madness. I have been able to keep busy and not dwell on the urges and to think out the consequences that would happen if I were to go down that road again. They thoughts have passed quite fast and are becoming less. I am trying to put all my energy into my family, friends, and my new life that is developing. I am finding ways to cultivate my interests and trying to put myself out there to new adventures and people. It is exciting and sometimes scary, if that makes sense. Who knows what this year will bring?

[lizbeth4]

Tomorrow I go to the city for 5 days, to see my Grandson as he is coming home tomorrow from his 17 day vacation in Hawaii and to get some business done, re: condo. I feel like I am the most blessed person. My Mom told me how much she was going to miss me while I am gone and how much she appreciated all that I do for her. My Daughter called and told me she missed me like crazy and couldn’t wait to see me tomorrow and my Grandson called telling me that he couldn’t wait to see me tomorrow evening and wanted to know if I would pick him up from the airport. It is awesome to be loved and to hear how much you mean to others. I spent the whole weekend with my Mom and we went to lunch, antiquing and at her request, I spent the night with her. It was truly enjoyable. We found out that my Aunt (by marriage) had past away. She was 83 years old and had been in bad health. My Mom and her were real close in their younger days. I think she needed someone with her. I think it must be hard when you get elderly and those around you are dying. My Mom’s only living sibling is 91 years old, her other sister and 2 brothers have passed away. When I get back to town, my Mom and I are going to the 3 gyms and picking one that we can workout at. I did laundry, packing, and paid bills, nothing exciting. I need to focus also on doing some things around the new home when I get back. When spring comes, I am having a 6 foot fence built around my backyard. The fence I have now is about 4 feet tall and some of it has seen better days. I am collecting pictures and ideas for the outdoor living space. I found plans for a fire pit that I am building myself. (brick) I am so excited about it!!!! I need to repaint some of the rooms, the colors I like and a few cosmetic things need to be done inside but not anything major. So, I am just plugging along enjoying life!! No gambling for me! It isn’t worth it!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Cat for your post and Happy New Years to you! I took my Mom to get her stitches out of her eyelid today and there is another (small) cancerous spot on the same eyelid. She will have to have further surgery on the 22nd. I think that God brought me here (re: moving) as I can tell some changes in my Mom now that I am spending more time with her. I don’t think they are health concerns but related to old aging. We are going out for lunch tomorrow and antiquing. Next week, I will be in the city for 5 days. My Grandson returns from his Hawaii trip late Monday night and I am going to the airport to pick him, his Dad, and other Grandma up as my Daughter has to go to work the next day. He and I will spend the next day together while Mom works. I want to catch up with some friends and go to lunch and on Thursday my realtor will be meeting me at the condo. I am not thrilled to be away from my new home for 5 days but I want to see my Grandson and friends and I need to take care of the condo business. Cat, I think it is normal to feel some guilt when a love one dies. I know I have nothing to feel guilty about. I think it is just another emotion that you have to get through while grieving. My Daughter had her 2013 year in review on face book. There were many pictures of my Husband with my Grandson and family. It brought back good memories and sad ones also. I still have many moments of sadness about him not being here. But I don’t have days of sadness anymore. I am at a happy place in my life and looking forward to the next adventures and experiences. Take care everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Vera, that you for your post!!! I thought about it and I have put into prospective. I had love for my Husband and I stayed by his side from his diagnosis to his death. He knew that I cared. I hope when I leave this world that I am holding the hand of someone who cares and that their face is the last thing I see. It was a productive day as I went through about 1/2 of my paperwork, shredded and made files. The filing cabinet is going to come in handy. I have this thing now that when I die, I don’t want anyone to have to search for anything. Everything will be organized. It’s going to be a early night. My bedroom is clean and the new TV went in there instead of the craft room. That way, I can relax and watch TV before I go to sleep. I am functioning pretty well on my own. There are times when I do get lonely, but I think that is normal. Tomorrow after the eye doctor appointment, my Mom and I are going to go check out a few gyms and I am going to join one. My realtor called and wants me to come to her next get together as she has friends and clients she would like me to meet so I can make some friends here. She is a real nice lady!!!! Take care everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole for your post! I have new insurance on the house now and it costs $500 less a year and is better coverage. I am feeling less stress now about the whole situation. My realtor called last night and she is meeting me at the condo next Thursday morning to look at it and for us to decide on the selling price. It will be good when it sold as I can bank that money I am spending on the mortgage, association fees, and utilities. I thought of leasing it out, but if I get bad tenants in there it could be a nightmare. Hopefully it will sell soon! I bought a new TV for the spare room/craft room and I need to put it on the stand and I need to start getting all my paperwork into the new filing cabinet. I am taking my Mom to the eye doctors tomorrow to get the stitches out of her eyelid. Saturday I have a fun day planned for us, lunch and going to antique stores. I was reading some of my past posts and there was one where I said I didn’t love my Husband anymore. (2 years ago) That was a hard one to look! I loved him as a person but not romantically anymore. In my grieving support group they say not to put the deceased person on a pedestal and that it is okay if you didn’t have the perfect marriage or had issues in your relationship. They say to keep it real. It just took my breath away when I saw that and in some way made me feel guilty that I said that and a year later he was dead. I don’t know if that makes sense??? Well, I hope everyone is having a good new year and are keeping gamble free!!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Well, I am looking for new insurance on Thursday. There is a insurance broker in town who was referred to me by my Mom’s neighbor. This is too stressful!!! They aren’t doing their job and I don’t have to stay with them. There is a reason that it is time for me to make this change. Everything happens for a reason and besides that I won’t have to go to the city till next week when my Grandson comes home. My Mom and I had a great dinner and played many games of Yahtzee. It was fun!!!!! My Grandson called and he went kayaking today and saw 6 sea turtles. He is ready to come home as he is missing his Mommy and I. He was a little tearful but I assured him that it is okay to miss us as we miss him too!!! He said it helped hearing our voices! He is so precious. Happy New Years everyone!!!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie, Great news about the pump. God will find a way to help provide the supplies for you! Take care! Happy New Years!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Laura for your post! I was getting frustrated and angry today but I read Bettie’s post and it put everything into prospective for me. I received a letter from my insurance company (the underwriters) that as of the 7th of January I would have no insurance on my new home as they hadn’t received all the information they needed. I hit the roof as I had been in my agent’s office or faxing him information numerous times. I called their office and left a message for him. I received a call back yesterday from a agent who is taking his place till after the new year. He is trying to help me. Also, I received another letter saying that after the 1st I would have a new agent. I have been with this insurance company for 40 years, since I had my first drivers license. I have had different agents though as they don’t seem to last long. I have my car, condo, and new home insured with them. So, on the 2nd of Jan. I will be coming to the city to be face to face with my new agent and get this mess resolved or I will take my business elsewhere. Is it just me or has customer service just gone done hill. It seem like no one cares how they treat the customer anymore. Anyways, I am going to my Mom’s and we are going to order take out for dinner. I hope everyone has a great and safe New Years Eve!!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie! Happy New Year!! This next year will be a lot better. I am sorry that you are experiencing so much trouble and stress about something that you medically need. That is totally ridiculous and outrageous!!! I am praying that it goes in your favor and that you get the pump!!!! Take care.

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