[lizbeth4]

Hi P! I want to thank you for all of the supportive posts on my thread. You don’t know how many times you posted when I was feeling so down and just seeing your positive post would make me feel better. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. After my Husband died and a lot of my family members weren’t there for me, I started standing up for myself. I let these people control me and use me like a puppet for their own gain. I can say no more easily now and I am learning to put up boundaries people. I have removed very toxic person from my life. It isn’t easy but I think it is very healthy. I am such a big people pleaser which goes back to my childhood. I think that it is great that you put yourself and your happiness before anyone else’s. Change is good! Keep doing what you are doing. You are awesome P!!!

[lizbeth4]

Waking up this morning in my new home and feeling peaceful and content! Being thankful for having awesome people in my life.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, Thanks for your post. Hopefully in time, Emma-Lou will get used to her new surroundings and her new siblings. You are so kind hearted taking in your Mother’s cat. I am off to a slow start this morning as I want to unpack the last of the moving boxes in my Grandson’s room so I can get him a bed and decorated the room for him. The last 6 weeks you have been busy with your Mother and your bone marrow donation. You will get re-organized. I am sorry to hear about Danny’s job situation. Maybe they will be able to find a place for him. It takes the 2 of you to work on getting along together. You can’t do that by yourself or can you make him do it. I don’t think that he wants to take responsibility for his actions in your relationship and do something to change them. That is hard work! That only my opinion and I could be wrong. I just want the best for you. You deserve happiness and peace in your life. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for the post Carole! My Husband was a very handsome man! It is strange, sometimes I feel like it has been ages since my Husband’s death and at other times it feels like yesterday. At times, I still replay his last day alive in my mind. Most of the time I think of him and remember times in our relationship (almost 30 years) and I think about something we did or some event that happened and it makes me smile. But there are times where I think of his last 2 months of life and all that he went through and I get very sad. It is getting better but it is very hard emotionally. I would give anything to have grown old with him and I am envious of elderly couples who I see holding hands. I wish that could have been us. My Husband always thought that he wouldn’t live past the age of 40. He has a family history of cancer and his Father died of cancer when he was 40 years old. His Mother and one of his Sisters had cancer also. So, he wasn’t shocked when he found out that he had cancer. Both of my Daughter’s told me after his death about how he was so worried about me and how I was going to be after he died. That was him! Even though we had issues in our marriage (who doesn’t), he loved me more than anything and he would have done anything he could for me. I know that I will never find someone who loved me as much as he did. If I ever am in another relationship, it will never be the same as with my Husband. I have grown and made a lot of big decisions on my own since his death and I feel like my life is going in a positive direction. Losing someone is just a difficult thing to go through and even when you have support, you have to go through a lot of the stuff by yourself and sort it out and deal with it. While I was in the city, my youngest Daughter wanted to see the house that I grew up in and that she remembered from her early childhood. We took pictures of it and we talked to a woman who lived next door and her Daughter owns the house and she owns the one next to it. She was very nice and didn’t object to us taking pictures. My Mom owned the house for 36 years and my Grandmother owned the house across the street for years. It brought back a lot of memories!!!! Nothing much on my agenda today. I am going to tackle the last 3 boxes in my Grandson’s room as I want to buy him a captains bed (drawers underneath). I need to start re-painting and doing things around here to make it more homey. Have a great day everyone!!

[lizbeth4]

I’m back home and exhausted! I have learned that the first day I am home from the city I accomplish nothing. LOL!!! My Grandson’s dental visit wasn’t fun! He did well with the x-rays but when it came to the cleaning, he had a meltdown. He detests the taste of the paste they use. After a lot of crying and me coaxing him, the cleaning was done. He has no cavities!! Yeah!!!! My Daughter and Grandson went on a walk for cancer today. They went with friends who have lost family members and friends from cancer. Next year we are going to have tee shirts with my Husband’s picture on them and I will join them. I still am having bouts of sadness about his death. They don’t last long and are coming less and less. It is just hard some days!! I am trying to stay motivated and keeping busy!!!! Have a good day everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Seeing my Daughter shine at her one year (sober) medallion ceremony this morning. Being gamble free! Enjoying time with my Grandson and Daughter!

[lizbeth4]

The one year medallion ceremony was awesome! My Grandson and I went up with my Daughter and after she spoke, I told her how much I loved her and how proud of her I was. She called me from work afterwards while I was taking my Grandson to school to say how happy she was that I was there with her. And that it meant the world to her and I told her that I felt the same. We have gone full circle in our relationship and it makes me feel so happy. Today has been good and going to the dentist this afternoon will be a breeze. I had the dishwasher overflow and the kitchen floor was full of suds and water!!! My thought as I was mopping up the floor with towels is that now the kitchen floor is clean!!! LOL!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, Thanks for your post on my thread. I think that is a wise decision to not donate right now. You need to get your health back and I have heard that donating bone marrow is extremely painful and hard on your body as you have mentioned. Take care of you first.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole for your post. I am trying to get my life together and going out of my comfort zone to try to make new friends and do new things. It is hard but most of the time it is good. I am coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my Husband’s death. I can’t believe that it has been 1 year since that devastating day. I have made a lot of changes and I feel like I have grown a lot. I don’t dwell on his death everyday but yesterday I just wanted to be alone. I was feeling so sad and I missed him so much. I am feeling better today. I am in the city and had my oil changed in the car this morning. I had lunch with my youngest Daughter and I picked up my Grandson from his after school class. We are have Chinese take out for dinner tonight as my Daughter is going to a support group meeting tonight. Tomorrow morning is the ceremony for her 1 year medallion pinning. I am proud of her for staying sober through so many challenges. It is hard work but she is doing it. Tomorrow after school I am taking my Grandson to the dentist for his check up. No big deal! Nothing else going on. I hope you all had a great day!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post! I did get some sleep and I worked out this morning. My legs (thighs) are always a little stiff after the workout but I feel good. I can’t wait to get my bike, maybe next weekend. It has been over 20 years since I have rode a bike. This is going to be interesting. I was looking at this Sunday’s church service message (online) and I am making it a point to attend this Sunday. It’s time to take the plunge! If I don’t care for it there are a lot of churches to attend. I keep making excuses in my head for not going. I think I need to work on my spiritual growth. My Cousin and I have been texting each other since we reunited on my California trip with my Mom. She is coming to visit me in June and I am making plans for a road trip for us. I am looking forward to it!! I had another light bulb moment this morning. I finally get it that my Mother isn’t there for me emotionally and never will be. I have to accept her and our relationship for what it is. It will never be what I want it to be. I am learning to set up more boundaries with her and walk away before I get caught up in the negative and hurtful words and thoughts that come from her mouth. My Grandson, Daughter, and I took a walk this last weekend when they were here and stopped by her house. She had just talked to my Sister and wanted to fill us in on all of her drama. I got up and took my Grandson outside and we sat on the deck waiting for my Daughter. She told me later that she was disturbed on how my Mother her Grandmother delighted in telling my Sister’s problems. I told her that I wasn’t going to listen to it again and that my Grandson who is very sensitive doesn’t need to be hearing all of that gossip. I did feel for my Sister as her youngest son is having another child with someone who is real toxic and a alcoholic. He already has 2 other children with 2 other women whom he pays child support for (and which he should) but has no contact with them. But he is a adult making poor decisions with his life. It still must be heartbreaking for my Sister but she has no control of his actions. My Mom always takes the negative side of everything. She never looks for the positives. But looking back, she has always been like this. Maybe since I am making changes in my life, I am more in tune with it now. I am staying home the rest of the day to do some cleaning and just relax. I hope everyone has a great gamble free day!!!

[lizbeth4]

Well, I am home alone and resting. My Daughter and Grandson left a few hours ago. I had a busy day running after my Grandson while he was on his razor/scooter. I am buying training wheels for his new bike while I am in the city this week as he is having trouble balancing himself. He won’t need them long!! I am going to buy me a bike also, not anything fancy. Then we can go biking together. The appraisal came back on the house and it appraised for more than the selling price. I received the buyers loan status report today and everything is fine. In fact, we should be closing soon. The paralegal from my lawyer’s office is going to mail me the updated personal representative papers this week as the title company is requesting them at closing. My Mother came for lunch today and behaved herself. We are going to the gym tomorrow morning but then I am coming home. There are things that I need to tackle around my house. I feel a little drained. Hope everyone had a good day!

[lizbeth4]

The LEGO movie was real cute! There was a lot of things though that were geared towards adults. My Grandson enjoyed it but there were a lot of younger children in the audience who seemed bored with it. There was a moral to the story so I asked my Grandson after the movie to see if he got it and he did! We went to Walmart today and are at home playing games. My Daughter is coming up this evening after her last seminar at 5:30PM. I am a little down today, I don’t know why. Maybe it is because I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept having a nasty dream that my Mother in law didn’t really die that it was all a hoax and that she showed up to try to contest the sell of the condo. I don’t know where this is coming from???? My Sister is coming up to visit my Mom this Thursday for a few days. I will be in the city at that time. My Mom keeps telling me about it. Okay?? I don’t care! Maybe it is just to get me upset. I would think she would be more centered on keeping a relationship with her as they just reunited recently as my Sister hadn’t talked to her for 2 1/2 years. I think I am still reeling emotionally from her actions. I am having a hard time talking and relating to her. I will have to find a way to deal.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole for your post. My Mom showed up unannounced and brought a angel food cake, strawberries, and whip cream for my Grandson and I. She didn’t stay long. Very strange! Maybe it was a peace offering. We are going to the movie in about 1 hour. When I visit at my Daughter’s place I help put together the EWOK VILLIAGE that my Grandson got for his birthday, it has close to 2000 pieces. He is a big Star Wars fan. I could feel myself getting upset when my Mom showed up. I need to get that into check and deal with her in a healthy way. Yes Carole, I agree that I need to put more boundaries in place with her. She is very toxic.

[lizbeth4]

My Grandson and I made it home safely yesterday evening. We stayed up late last night so we got up late this morning. The only thing on our agenda today is going to see the new LEGO movie in a few hours. My Mom called last night to see if we made it home and acted like she was my best friend. What the heck? She really needs some counseling as I think she has a real problem. She has terrible mood swings and a lot of anger. She tried to throw herself into our plans today and I stopped her telling her that we were going to the movies. She doesn’t like the movies. I told her she could come over sometime this weekend if she wanted. No response. Oh well, I want to enjoy being with my Grandson and my Daughter is coming Sunday evening. Monday we are going fishing real early and having lunch around noon, which my Mom has been invited to already. Oh, my yard looks nice as the tree limbs and yard was cleaned up while I was gone. I am going to enjoy my day with my Grandson. I hope everyone has a great day!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post. I have decided to stop trying to figure my Mother out. I have done nothing wrong to her. I do a lot for her because she is on a fixed income. Since I don’t gamble anymore, I do have extra money every month. I treat my Mother to lunches and dinners and I have given her money or paid for something to help her out. I think I was spending too much time with her. It is time to start joining some clubs in my new town and meeting new people with whom I can maybe have friendships. I love my Mom and she isn’t going to change. I need to do the changing and start limiting my time with her and walking away when she is in one of her nasty moods. I know how I treat the ones I love. I love them with all of my heart. I am waiting for my Grandson to get out of school so we can head to my place. He doesn’t have a bed yet so he can sleep in the guest room. I am going to start working on my new house more. We usually stop for dinner on our way home and my Grandson asked if we could do that today. He is such a joy in my life. My Daughter is at a personal growth seminar today and tomorrow. She text me earlier saying that she was glad she decided to go and invest her time and money in the seminar, that it was amazing. I had lunch with my youngest Daughter today and she is doing well. I am finishing up some laundry and just unloaded the dishwasher. Just little things to help my Daughter out. Have a good day everyone!

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