[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole. I sent my new phone number to you. It is hard when we have to make decisions for our parents. I am dreading the time when I have to. Take care of yourself.

[lizbeth4]

P, I’ve been thinking of you all day. Hang in there! My friend just emailed me of a death of a acquaintance. Some of you may remembered that after my husband died I had a series of bad things happen to me. I still think it was a test to see how much I could take. Well, during that time my car stopped working. My friend introduced me to a mechanic who turned out to be my Angel. He knew that the engine was shot and he called nissan and found out that it was covered by a recall. I had a new engine put in by nissan. The mechanic wouldn’t even charge me for looking at my car. I sent him a card with some money in it as I found out that his wife had cancer and he was having a rough time financially. He called my friend in tears as he couldn’t believe that I did that for him. Well, his wife died recently. She was the Love of his life. I told my friend to tell him that I am here if wants to talk. I know how he is feeling. I was a little pissy this afternoon as the computer guy won’t have my computer done till tomorrow morning. But that means nothing now and is so insignificant. In the end all that matters is how we live our life and who we love, our family and friends.

[lizbeth4]

P, I have been thinking of you all day. Let it out. Cry till you can’t cry anymore. I know that you are at a low right now but it will get better. Hang in there!

[lizbeth4]

Dear p, I understand your feelings as I felt so helpless when I came to this site. I thought that it would never get better. But it will get better. Just get through the day. Don’t give up! Fight! Sending you hugs and all the best thoughts

[lizbeth4]

Thanks cat for your post. I have been trying to spend more time reading other’s posts and responding. I feel like I haven’t been real supportive to others here The last 14 months have been real hard but I am starting to come out of the fog and function some what normally. I was thinking today about how gambling is still affecting my life. I am going to talk candidly. For those who do not know me well, please do not take any of this as bragging. That is not me. When I received my husband’s life insurance, I was scared of gambling it all away. It really frightened me. I bought major items out right and paid off all debts. I put remaining monies in investment accounts that are harder to get to. I still don’t totally trust myself. I have had slips in the past and I can’t afford to ruin my financial life. I will never be cured. I live one day at a time. Oh, tomorrow I will get my computer back. It is a lot easier to use than this kindle. Today was busy. The paralegal came this morning and my Mom and I will get all of our documents in a week. So, that is done. I am going to the city next week to sign the final papers pertaining to the probate so my lawyer can see the judge and have the estate closed. That will be a lot off of my shoulders. I picked up my new glasses. My first pair ever. I can see now! Lol!!! Take care everyone and have a gamble free day.

[lizbeth4]

P, I am glad that you are back and posting. Just get through today. I am praying for strength for all of us facing this addiction. I know what kind of person you are, awesome! It takes a lot of character to come back after gambling. We are always here for you as you are here for us. We are a family. I was asked recently why I continue to post here when I haven’t gambled for awhile. This is one of the reasons, I care about others here and I want to show my support. You are right, no one can understand the turmoil you are experiencing except another compulsive gambler. Put all you barriers up and gather all of your support around you. It will get better

[lizbeth4]

I hope everyone had a great mother’s day. My was fantastic. I spent it with my daughter, grandson and mother. 4 generations together. We made a delicious dinner and had a good time together. It is always hard when my daughter and grandson have to leave. They would love to live here but it is hard to find a good paying job. My grandson told me that I was lucky that I live here. Moving here was hard but the right decision. I love it! I worked out this morning and I am here at home now. I need to some cleaning. I have a paralegal coming over tomorrow morning to prepare some legal documents for my Mom and I. That’s a good thing about living in a small town, almost everyone will come to you. Also, we have the cleanest streets. The street cleaner comes weekly. I haven’t had any gambling urges lately. When I read other posts about gambling it makes me sad but keeps me on board with my recovery. A relapse can happen to any of us. We need to implement barriers and not become complacent. We all deserve to have peace in our lives. I pray for all of us to have the strength to fight this addiction.

[lizbeth4]

I am being lazy today, watching movies. The one I am watching now is about the afterlife. I had the strangest experience yesterday. The computer guy was here for 3 hours and never worked on my computer. He took it to his shop and I should have it by Wednesday. While he did talk computer stuff (viruses) he broke down and talked about his 20 year old son who died. Obviously he needed someone to listen to him. I didn’t really say much. I just listened to him and he seemed less stressed when he left. My sister sold her house to investors and has to be out in 2 weeks. She is moving in with a friend for awhile. Most of her belongings are going into storage. I offered to drive down tomorrow morning and pick up her plants and bring them home with me as she can’t take them with her. I will have a visit with my youngest daughter while I’m there. My oldest daughter and grandson will be here tomorrow evening. I talked to my Mom this morning and she was in one of her mean moods so I kept it short and won’t see her today. I am learning to keep the boundaries up and not subject myself to her hurtful ways. It’s taken me a long time to get to this point where I walk away from her and don’t feel guilt. Nothing else going on. I ught I had purchased everything for our barbeque on Sunday but I the rolls. I’ll make a trip later today to pick some up. Have a wonderful mother’s day everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Carole, I’m sorry to hear about your Mother. Take care and keep us informed.

[lizbeth4]

Hi! I came to this site 3 years and 6 months ago. Since then I have had several slips. I still post here as it helps me to be accountable. The main reason I post here is that I have support and friends here. Many people here kept me sane when my husband died. I like to see how everyone is doing. I still have urges at times and posting my thoughts helps me work through them. I know that I will never conquer being a compulsive gambler. It is always there waiting to pull me in again. I need to not become complacent and to keep working on being gamble free. One day at a time

[lizbeth4]

I will not gamble today. I haven’t been having urges lately. My days are full with going to the gym and doing things in the house and yard. Keeping busy has always kept me from gambling. Life is so much better being gamble free. It is freeing!

[lizbeth4]

I went to the gym this morning. I am not seeing results fast enough but that is the impatient side of me. I am not going to give up. I didn’t put on the pounds on in one day. It’s going to take time to get into shape. My mother invited me over for dinner this evening. It is another windy day here making it impossible to work in the yard. I am doing a few things around the house today and the place is beginning to look more my style. I haven’t had any gambling urges lately and that makes me happy as I don’t need that complicating life.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole I am glad to hear that things are going well for you. Maybe having time apart was good for you and Danny. I wish you both all the best. Quite the accomplishment for your 9 year old granddaughter in securing a dance scholarship. She obviously has a love for it. My grandson is progressing in baseball and karate which are his passions now. With a 8 year old, who knows what he will be interested in next. It is good to hear that your mother is doing alright. Take care and have fun at the comedy club.

[lizbeth4]

Reds, I am sorry to hear about your dad’s death. Remember to take care of yourself during this time. Grieve in your own time and way. Take care

[lizbeth4]

Hi! Banning yourself from the casinos was a big step. Be proud of yourself for doing that GA was a big help for me. It does help to have people who are going through the same thing surrounding you. I remember going on gambling binges and trying to make up the money I had lost. Many times I was behind on my monthly bills or money was tight for some time and then I would turn around and gamble again. I remember the sick feelings and my stomach being in knots. The restless nights were the hardest No one should ever have to live like that. You are implementing good barriers to help you. Take care and have a awesome day!

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