[lizbeth4]

Hi Lorraine, I’m glad that your meeting went well. Like Bettie said, you are worth it!!!! It helps to talk in person about gambling addiction and to hear what other’s say, their own personal experiences. I know the first time I went to a GA meeting, I was really scared. The group I went to had been together for a long time and they were tough on me. Honestly, they made me feel like I didn’t belong there and at a break, one member suggested that I find another group. Well, I did and they were very accepting and invited me into their group. It helped me a lot!!! Keep going!!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I watched the fireworks from my front porch last night. They were delayed about 1 hour as we had rain (much needed). I spent most of the day with my Mother but I am home now. My Grandson sent me a email thanking me for being such a awesome Grandmother the last few weeks and that he loves me!! How sweet!!! I will pick him up tomorrow afternoon and we will go to my Daughter’s apartment. He is going back to karate camp on Monday. Surprise: my Sister called me today and invited me to breakfast on Monday. That was nice!!! Nothing else going on here. I am just going to chill the rest of the day.

[lizbeth4]

Kathryn, Keep thinking positive thoughts. I know you will get a job soon. Enjoy your time with the kids. Sleep well.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Steph, I am glad that you found this site. It was crucial in helping me. For me the barriers were to have limited access to money and banning myself from surrounding casinos. GA meetings were a very important part of recovery for me. When I figured out what my triggers were and what to do in place of gambling that was a big key for me. You are doing great. Keep posting and reading other’s threads. One day at a time.

[lizbeth4]

Happy Fourth of July!!!! I am home now as I took my Grandson to his Dad’s for the weekend. I have no desire to go to the fireworks here as you have to park and be shuttled to the fireworks site. I am happy at home relaxing. Tomorrow morning I am taking my Mom out for breakfast. I hope everyone is having a great gamble free weekend. Take care!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie. I hope your knee starts feeling better soon. Good for you standing up for your rights, health. The big company that I retired from made people with health problems and restrictions jump through hoops and many times violated these restrictions. We were lucky to have a union backing us and our rights. Get some rest this weekend. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I am getting tired. My daughter called my Grandson today. He is missing his Mommy. Friday I am taking him to the city to stay with his dad for the weekend. I thought of staying at my daughter’s apartment but have decided to come back home. I will return on Sunday evening and pick up my Grandson and we will stay at the apartment. My daughter’s plane doesn’t come in till 1150 pm on Monday. We can do some grocery shopping and clean a little on Monday. Tuesday I will come home and return Saturday to start house hunting. Maybe I will be recharged by then. Lol!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, wow you were busy today. I am glad that your mother will be in her new place soon. It will give you peace of mind as you know she will be in good hands Have fun on your trip and say hi to cat for me. Take care c

[lizbeth4]

Today was a emotional day for me. For some reason, right after I got out of the shower this morning, I thought about my Husband. No one visited him in the hospital as one of my Daughter’s had check herself into rehab and the other was doing drugs. My Husband was a private person and really didn’t want his friends to see him in that condition and he had no family her besides mine. My ex-son-in-law called me and asked if it would be alright to take his son, my Grandson to visit. My Husband only had a iv at the point, so I said yes. I had left to go home and shower when they came to visit. The joy that they brought to my Husband I can never repay. My Grandson got into bed with him and helped him eat his dinner and he took over the remote to the tv and turned on cartoons. My Husband had the biggest smile on his face when he told me all this and he was really happy. I don’t know why but I thought of that today and started crying. Although my Grandson knows that crying is alright, I stayed in the bathroom till I could compose myself. My Grandson had a episode earlier in the week and was crying for his Papa. I just thought it may be too much for him. These thoughts cross my mind sometimes and take over and I need to cry and release my emotions. I guess this is part of grieving. I missed him a lot today!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks RG for your post as it means a lot to me. We are going swimming today and stopping by my Mom’s house to bring her dinner. We grilled hamburgers on my new grill last night. My house loan is at a stand still right now as there is something on my credit which was paid off but not taken off. So, I had to write a letter to the company and the mortgage lenders are dealing with it. I want everything in place when my Daughter comes home on the 7th. My realtor is going to show us homes on the 12th. I guess there are always little bumps in the road. I have to pay off my debt consolidation to get the loan. That is alright as I could have paid it off before but the monthly payments were easy and I didn’t want to part with a lump of money. I have become very saving and I watch my money now. When I received benefits after my Husband’s death, I knew I could go one way or the other (gambling). I put money in a fund which is harder for me to get to as I have to send a request to take money out and it takes a few days to get it. Honestly, I don’t think about accessing the money from that account. I live very simply and I can save about 1/2 of what I receive monthly in pensions. There really isn’t anything that I need but there are things that I want to do around my new home. Eventually, I would like to get it repainted and some of the wood trim replaced. I would like a new fence around my backyard and a covered patio with flagstone pavers. I need to repaint some of the bedrooms but for the most part my place is alright the way it is. Some improvements would be nice. It’s just my little wish list. When my Sister was here we went looking at some places for her, so she could get a idea of what was out there. She has 4 more years of work before she can retire. She is looking at more remote places and smaller places. Where we looked was too remote for me!! LOL!!! The land here is kind of pricey. But I suggested that maybe she buy a lot now and start paying on it and build later. She is renting a room from her friend right now and is going to find a condo in the city by the end of the year as she will be out of debt. One way or the other it will work out for her. At least she sold her home which she couldn’t afford and has piece of mind. Nothing else going on here. Have a great gamble free day everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks p and cat for your posts. Cat, I am learning to forgive because like you said, it can eat you up. I have seen people become mean and bitter when they hold grudges. It serves no purpose to destroy yourself. Transformers movie was awesome. I told my Grandson beforehand that if it became too intense for him we would leave. He loved the movie. My only grip was that it was 2 hours and 45 minutes long. It was a with him. I am more content when he is around but I am learning and trying to have a life for myself when he isn’t here. After we buy a house and they are moved and settled, I am going to attend church regularly and help with the things they do for our community. I am hoping to find some nice people to form some relationships with. My daughter climbed a big mountain today, which was one of the goals for her trip. She looked so happy in the pictures. 1 more week and she will be home. My grandson is missing her and by then grandma will be tired!!! Everything is going well. Tomorrow we are going swimming and building a Lego set we bought today.

[lizbeth4]

Hi everyone. My Grandson is still sleeping so I decided it was a good time to post my thoughts. He had a awesome weekend with his Dad. They hung out with some friends and swam and barbequed. Both my Daughter and my ex son in law have a lot of friends and aquantinces and are always doing something. I was thinking back on my visit with my Sister. Although she was welcoming, she held back a lot. My Daughter and her haven’t talked for 1 year because of her coming unleashed on my Daughter in front of my Grandson and throwing them out of her house where they were living. I know there are 2 sides to every story but she really handled it wrong. They were close like Sisters. My Sister was 15 when I had my oldest Daughter and she babysat for me and they have always had a close relationship until now. So, I asked her is she could see reconnecting with my Daughter and she said maybe. I reached out to my Sister after 14 months of not talking because I felt it was the right thing for me to do. The day after my Husband’s death she came over, before that when he was sick, she showed up once for 15 mins and I was the one to call her giving her updates on his health. Well, she was just being rude and mean and I was trying to make arrangements for his cremation, ect… and I was in a daze. We were going somewhere and she was driving and we go into a agruement and she pulled her car over and told me to get out. I walked back to the condo (8 blocks away). This weekend is the first time we have been face to face since the incident. I am still feeling some weird vibs from her. Last month when she was having financial difficulties and was on the verge of going bankrupt, I bailed her out. She has since sold her home and repaid me. I found out about her problems from my Mother who was in a frantic stage about it all. I guess I need to just accept the relationship for what it is and for who she is. I am not perfect, but we are extremely different people and that is alright. My Mom was a piece of work this weekend. She is so afraid that she will make my Sister mad and that she will stop talking to her again as she has done in the past. She agreed with everything she said and kissed her bu– the whole time she was here. I guess that is how she wants to have a relationship with her Daughter and really it is none of my business. Wow, what dysfunction. It is a wonder that I don’t have more addictions. The good thing is that I haven’t had any gambling urges lately!!! Today we are going to the movies!!! Sorry as I feel like I have been rambling.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie, I understand your hurt in not being able to stay with Jen when she moves. My youngest Daughter always has had controlling boyfriends. She has been with this guy for 6 years. I ask her why she stays with him and she says it is complicated. We hurt when our children are hurting. I agree with Vera, maybe you could have just some mother/daughter time with her outside of her home. I can’t imagine what you are dealing with at work. My Sister works for the same company that I and my Husband worked for. Things are really getting crazy there. That was one of the reasons I took a early retirement. I couldn’t take it any more. When the bank I am with was bought out in May, the parking lot was full for days. I know that the elderly had the roughest time dealing with the takeover. Many of them don’t have internet access and had to go into the bank to change everything. I have ran into many people who just changed banks. So far, so good. There are some inconviences when I go to the city finding a branch but I try to have cash on had to avoid that. Foremost, Bettie take care of you. All this stress isn’t good for anyone and you have health issues so that makes it worse. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you. I always have believed that everything happens for a reason and that we learn our life lessons from unpleasant things sometimes. Take care and have a great day!!

[lizbeth4]

Carole, P, and Vera, thanks for your posts. Carole, stress can do a number on our bodies. You should always go to the ER if you feel like something is wrong. Remember, I arrived at the ER withing 20 mins of my heart attack and I have no heart damage. Vera, I am a lucky person as my Husband provided for me. I am by no means rich but I am comfortable. He always worried that I would have to struggle if he died and made sure that I didn’t have to. Have a great vacation and congrads on the gamble free time. P, the visit with my Sister was good. She left for the city today but she is coming back in August. I have forgiven her for the past but I haven’t forgotten. I think that we can move on and have a relationship. I am going to the city to get my Grandson in 2 hours. I missed the little guy but I did get some sleep and adult time with my Mom and Sister. I am thinking about how busy the next month or more will be. Packing up my Daughter and Grandson and looking for a new home. Carole, I think that a home would be awesome for my Grandson. It will be his home and some place he can grow up in and not have to move. I think it will be a good thing. School starts the first week in August and hopefully they will be settled in the new house and then I can come home and relax. There are quite a few projects that I want to do here at my house. All in time! I hope everyone had a great gamble free weekend.

[lizbeth4]

Carole, P, and Vera, thanks for your posts. Carole, stress can do a number on our bodies. You should always go to the ER if you feel like something is wrong. Remember, I arrived at the ER withing 20 mins of my heart attack and I have no heart damage. Vera, I am a lucky person as my Husband provided for me. I am by no means rich but I am comfortable. He always worried that I would have to struggle if he died and made sure that I didn’t have to. Have a great vacation and congrads on the gamble free time. P, the visit with my Sister was good. She left for the city today but she is coming back in August. I have forgiven her for the past but I haven’t forgotten. I think that we can move on and have a relationship. I am going to the city to get my Grandson in 2 hours. I missed the little guy but I did get some sleep and adult time with my Mom and Sister. I am thinking about how busy the next month or more will be. Packing up my Daughter and Grandson and looking for a new home. Carole, I think that a home would be awesome for my Grandson. It will be his home and some place he can grow up in and not have to move. I think it will be a good thing. School starts the first week in August and hopefully they will be settled in the new house and then I can come home and relax. There are quite a few projects that I want to do here at my house. All in time! I hope everyone had a great gamble free weekend.

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