[lizbeth4]

I have been busy today. I had my car serviced and had lunch with my youngest Daughter. She is not ready yet to admit that she needs help with her drug addiction. She doesn’t want to hear anything about it. For now, I just want to relish my time with her as we don’t know what the future holds. I am at my oldest Daughter’s apartment now waiting till I pick my Grandson up from his after school program. He is doing as well as possible with his cast. We were both glad to see each other yesterday. My Daughter went to a concert with her friend and he and I were alone last night for about 4 hours. He was upset as he had to go to bed at his allotted time and that Mom got to stay up late. LOL!! He didn’t dwell on it long as he was fast asleep before I could finish reading a chapter of his book. He was in a good mood this morning as we had breakfast together and I took him to school on my way to get my car’s oil change. The lender called me this afternoon and the underwriter is missing a copy of a debt that I paid off, which I sent to them on August 13th. Luckily, I had it in my emails and was able to email it to her. So, my loan is back to the underwriter again. My Realtor is setting up my final walk through for this Saturday. She says she is having some challenges with either the agent or seller’s. I don’t know what that means but CALGON take me away!!! I am so trying to keep it together so we can close on this home. I guess I am staying the whole week with my Daughter so I can get this done. She is 3/4 of the way packed. Tomorrow, I will spend the day packing up what I can to help her. I know I said I was going to let her take care of it herself but I can’t sit here and do nothing. I dropped off 5 bags of clothing to a donation place for her this morning. I suggested that we go out for pizza and games tonight as we need to lighten up a bit. Everyone keep positive thoughts going about the house as I am at the end of my rope with it!!! Hanging in there.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post! You have always been there for me also! I am so glad that I have such great support here. I know that I couldn’t have come this far in my recovery without it. My Mom is sick today. Some kind of stomach bug. I live right down the street if she needs anything. I will make sure that I go by there on my way out tomorrow. My nerves have been on end and will be till the house deal is final. I had to pay my debt consolidation off to get this loan and that was fine as it is one less payment every month. Last week my lender called and said there was another thing on my credit. It was from over 7 years ago and I had made monthly payments on it so the collection agency could report it again on my credit. We did a 3 way call with my creditor and there was a $53 payment still owing on the account. I had to pay it as my lender wanted a 0 balance. I know that I had paid that account off but I don’t keep my old checks for that long and since then I have changed banks. That was when I was gambling heavy so it could be true. Oh, I hope that I have met all the underwriters conditions so we can move to the closing phase soon!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi All! I am still in my pj’s, just relaxing. I am really happy with myself that I haven’t gambled as I have felt so much pressure and stress with this new house and all of the paperwork, ect.. involved with it. I have had some urges but have refrained from acting on them. Hopefully, I will be closing soon and I can return to my normal life. LOL!! I am heading to the city tomorrow afternoon as I have a appointment to have my car serviced. My Grandson called me yesterday and he is missing me a lot. He is doing alright with his cast (arm) but hates having to sit out on PE and recess. It’s for 6 weeks and it will go by fast. I am trying to talk my youngest Daughter into coming back home with me for a few days. She says yes now but that could all change by the time I am ready to come back home. My oldest Daughter saw her yesterday walking down the street and stopped to say hi to her. She called me telling me how thin and horrible she looked. I am afraid that if she keeps doing the drugs that she won’t be here very long. I know that I can’t make her stop as that is her decision to make. I would like to spend a few days alone with her and just enjoy our time together. So, I am just doing some laundry then I am going to my Mom’s for lunch. Nothing else going on.

[lizbeth4]

I have been going to the gym daily. I always feel better when I go. My agenda for the rest of the day is to finish cleaning the house and weeding the backyard this evening. We aren’t closing on the house on the 5th as we had to take care of the patio roof leak, so that slowed down the progress. The lender is working on my closing documents and since this is going to be a long holiday weekend, I won’t hear from them till Tuesday. Hopefully, we can get some kind of time frame so my Daughter can get the moving company in place. So, it will happen somewhere between the original moving date of the 19th and the date we wanted to move, the 5th. As long as it happens soon!! LOL!!! Have a great gamble free weekend everyone.

[lizbeth4]

I have been going to the gym daily. I always feel better when I go. My agenda for the rest of the day is to finish cleaning the house and weeding the backyard this evening. We aren’t closing on the house on the 5th as we had to take care of the patio roof leak, so that slowed down the progress. The lender is working on my closing documents and since this is going to be a long holiday weekend, I won’t hear from them till Tuesday. Hopefully, we can get some kind of time frame so my Daughter can get the moving company in place. So, it will happen somewhere between the original moving date of the 19th and the date we wanted to move, the 5th. As long as it happens soon!! LOL!!! Have a great gamble free weekend everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your support and encouragement. I was so tired this afternoon that I took a nap. Hopefully, I won’t be up all night!! I am ready to slow down a little once the home has closed and my Daughter and Grandson are settled. I would like to concentrate on my life and things that I would like to do. Today, I received a box of cookies in the mail from my lender. It was a thoughtful gesture. I would really like to investigate meditation and yoga. I think that both would be helpful in my physical and mental health. I am ready to experience some new things in my life!!

[lizbeth4]

I went to the gym today and worked out. It felt good!!! I heard from my loan processor that they will be getting the closing papers together soon as soon as the patio roof is fixed properly per the appraiser’s condition. The last fix didn’t stop the leaking. When our inspector went out yesterday he found problems with the patio roof and gave the seller’s a estimate cost of replacement. The seller’s are getting another estimate today or tomorrow. They will need to fix it so we can close. I am looking at this in a positive way as it will be fixed and we won’t have to deal with it. It might set us back a few days from the closing date but it’s better that we find out now and get it fixed. I unpacked the 2 remaining boxes in my Grandson’s room and today I am doing some more organizing today. I didn’t sleep well last night as I think I was trying to think of too many things at once!!!! Tonight I will sleep well.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, You will be busy, but it is good to help our Daughter’s. That is awesome that the money made from the garage sell was put into your Granddaughter’s education fund. I can’t believe that Danny suggested that you gamble. Does he not get that you don’t want to go there?? I am glad that you didn’t gamble. One day at a time!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks again Monique for your post to my thread. I appreciate your support and insight. I picked my Mom up this morning and we hit the gym. It had been awhile since we had been there. My cardiologist said that if I could do 1 mile in 20 mins, I was doing good. I did it!! Although, barely and I had to push myself. It’s always good for me to challenge myself and set my goals higher. I didn’t stay at my Mom’s long as I wanted to go home and do a few things. I have a list of to do’s for this week as my home and yard suffer when I am in the city a lot. My Realtor called and the patio roof was repaired yesterday. We have been having a lot of rain and there was a small leak. Luckily, it was caught before we bought the home. Of course the lenders want verification that the repair was made and we need to get another inspector out to the home. My Realtor knows someone who is gong out tomorrow free of charge!! Awesome!! Now, I am just waiting to hear what the underwriter is going to say. There shouldn’t be any reason not to approve the loan but I am keeping positive thoughts about the result. I am going to straighten out my closet and go through a few boxes. I donated 4 bags of clothes recently to a charity for women and kids (shelter). I had 2 bags of my Grandson’s clothing that he had outgrew. I know that someone can use them. I hope everyone has a great gamble free day!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, I needed to bring you thread back up to the top!!! Post when you have time. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

My gambling urges and thoughts are lessening. I have gotten through another rough patch and didn’t give in to the evil thoughts. My Mother called this morning and asked if I was still mad at her. I told her that I wasn’t mad but hurt as I don’t deserve her cursing at me and calling me a lair. I went home as I don’t want to argue with her anymore. She said she wasn’t mad at me either. Okay?? Of course she didn’t apologize as she never does. She asked me to come over for lunch and I did. I didn’t stay for a long time as she was argumentative again. I almost think that she can’t help herself as she as been this way for so long. I am thinking of ways to deal with her behavior. My Daughter called today and my Grandson fell off his scooter and broke his left arm. He was wearing his helment thank goodness!! He is taking it in stride. Baseball practice started yesterday, so he will have to play when the league starts without the practice time. Last year, right around this time he fractured his right wrist at the trampoline park and was in a cast and missed baseball practice. When he was 4 years hold he broke his right wrist. I think we need to put him in a bubble! Well, he knows the low down for this week when he gets the permanent cast put on!! He was so sweet when I called him this evening. I should know in the next few days if the underwriter is going to approve the home loan. I guess I have been stressed about that also and maybe everything contributed to my gambling thoughts. Tomorrow is a new day!!!! Things will be better.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie, That is awesome that you have a Brother who is so helpful. It sounds like your Mom did enjoy her birthday card and gift!! Sometimes they surprise us!! I love that feeling of accomplishing something also!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie, Sorry to hear about the crazed customer. You don’t have to put up with that!! When he comes back in, I would just stay clear of him. Let someone else (who?) deal with him. Oh, sending you hugs)))) about your grandchild. That must of been hard for you when you came across the baby clothes and being around your great niece. I don’t know why things happen and why life can’t be easier. Going through some stuff with my Mother again!! I am sure you can relate!! I can’t do right with her so I need to do right for me!!! Take care and do something nice for yourself.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Monique for your post. I went to the early church service. Everyone was nice and I enjoyed the fellowship but it was mostly elderly people in attendance. I did feel more calm and peaceful when I came home. I am not knocking it but I need to find a congregation with some people my age. So, I am still looking!! But I did put myself out there!! I woke feeling sad about my Mother but I am so tired of her telling me all my faults and calling me names. She is just putting a bigger rift between us. She is so hurtful. I keep letting things go or die down so we can start over and have some kind of relationship. The truth be told, I get more feelings and emotion from a stranger. She could care less about what is going on in my life. I keep letting things die down and then I contact her and try to start over again. This time, I need to just lay low with her for awhile. The last time my Grandson was here and crying about his Papa, she said he would get over it. Really?? No emotional bonds, nothing with her. I didn’t gamble as I am not going to let my emotions take me there. I plan on going through the last few boxes that I’ve never unpacked. Struggling but not defeated!!!

[lizbeth4]

Today, I have thoughts of gambling. My Mother is mad at me again. She is so angry and full of rage. I brought lunch to her yesterday and she let lose on me. She is always complaining about all of her neighbors. I asked her if that was working for her. Maybe, I shouldn’t have said anything but honestly I am so tired of hearing the same thing over and over. No one can do anything right in her eyes. She wonders why none of the neighbors don’t want anything to do with her. After she called me a lair and started cursing at me, I told her that I was going home. She continued as I was walking down the stairs to get to the driveway. I know she must me so unhappy with her life but she is out of control. I am keeping my distance till she can calm down. It is sad that I am letting her outburst make me feel sad and that I am entertaining the thought to gamble. I guess I am still wanting a relationship with her that I am not ever going to have. When I talk about the new home or anything in my life, she is not there. She acts like she could care less. I am finding it hard to have any kind of relationship with her. It is so superficial!!! Anyways, I won’t gamble!! I will fight the urges as it isn’t worth it!!! I have decided to go to church tomorrow for some fellowship. I need to be around people and in a healthy environment.

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