[lizbeth4]

I went to have my nails done today. The best part of going is listening to the nail girls talk. They always have me laughing! I went to my Mom’s afterwards and had lunch and we played a card game. She told me to shush up and play. She wasn’t joking. I told her not to talk to me like that. So, needless to say, it was kind of tense while finishing the game. She finally settle down. Of course she never apologized. I could feel myself getting upset but after I told her not to talk that way to me, I let it go. I figure that she the one who needs to work it out and maybe she won’t do it again. OMG, she is certainly out of control. But I made it through without freaking out! I have been having a tough time lately as I have been missing my Husband a lot. This doesn’t help the situation. I would really love to have a good relationship with my Mom but she makes it hard. I truly feel that the relationship is really superfical and that makes me sad. I wish it was real and deeper. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone to really be able to talk to without judgement. It is what it is!!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, It is hard to have a healthy marriage. It takes a lot of work, from both sides. Mine was very dysfunctional!!! That makes me sad. I wish that I could of fix it somehow before my Husband died. But that wasn’t to be! You and Danny love each other. Hang in there! I hope you had a great dinner.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera, Charles, and P for your posts!! Vera, I have cut out all sweets (my downfall) and any fried foods. I am eating more fruits and veggies. I try to get to the gym 5 days a week but if I can’t, I take a walk around the pond right across the street from my home. I truly started to put on weight when I became a CG. Sitting in front of a machine all day and not eating right, drinking a lot of soda, and not exercising put on the pounds. I am going to go to the weight watchers meeting on Monday night. I am doing it online but I think that it would be of a big help to go to the meetings. Vera, Charles and P, thanks for your support and kind words. Yesterday was a fun day. My Mom and I went to 2 holiday craft sales. One was at the school and one was at a church. We both found some Christmas gifts and at a good price and they are homemade! The church had a homemade cookie sale and they looked delicious. I walked right by them. It was hard!! I am making some cookies for Christmas. I am going to reserve my sweets (only a few) for Christmas. Today I am going to go through my Christmas decorations. I have too many. I am going to give half to my Daughter. All in all, life is good. I am happy for the most part. I am getting used to living alone. I see my Mom everyday and I am seeing things differently concerning our relationship. She seems like she has aged a lot this year. She is getting my forgetful and confused. I think it is just old age. My Sister has even commented on it. I just want us to enjoy each other’s company and do things together as long as we can. We play card games and have lunch or dinner together regularly. I help her do things when she will let me as she is so independent. She walks on the treadmill about 15 mins. and waits for me to finish my workout. At least she is going and getting some exercise. I will miss her dearly when she is gone and I don’t want to have any regrets. She is even thinking of going with me after Thanksgiving to stay 3 days in the city with my Daughter and Grandson. She loves shopping malls and we have none here. So, things are better between us. Sorry for the long post. Take care everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, It is awesome that you see so many animals on your property. That is one of the things that I love living away from the city. I have seen elk, bunnies, squirrels, and many different kinds of birds. We have bears and mountain lions. I haven’t seen them but they have been spotted about 10 miles east of here. Something to think about when you are fishing, ect… It is good that you are finding other things to keep you busy instead of gambling. Sometimes it is hard. I find it a little harder when you are living in a rural setting as there isn’t a lot of things to do. But you can do it!!!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Bettie, I am so happy that you have found your WORTH. He doesn’t deserve you!! That man is really a miserable person. He will never have a happy life while treating other’s poorly. I am a firm believer in karma. You are already finding your strength. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I am loving being home! I have been working out and spending time with my Mom. I have been able to get a few small projects done and I am working on a picture wall! I have made the Thanksgiving dinner menu. I am making most of the dinner. My Mom is bringing the rolls and pies (store bought). She told me that she really didn’t want to cook and that’s alright. Tomorrow there are 2 holiday craft and arts bazaars in town. My Mom and I are going. I think it is good to get out and about. Sometimes it is easier for me to stay home and I could easily become a recluse! LOL!! I have been making a big effort to eat healthy and exercise. I have lost 5 pounds this week. It’s a start!! I haven’t thought of gambling since my last post. I am trying to keep busy. Sunday I plan on finishing the cleaning of my storage shed. I am giving half of my Christmas tree decorations to my Daughter. It’s good to purge! I hope everyone has a great gamble free day!!

[lizbeth4]

HI Bettie, I hope you start feeling better soon and that your next blood work results are better. I agree with you, we all do the best to raise our children. We all make mistakes. As you said, you can’t go back in the past, you can only move forward. I agree, as with my youngest daughter, it is time for her to grow up and figure out her life. It is easier said than done but at some point it gets old. We deserve a life also. Take care of yourself.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Ican for your post! Heart disease runs in my family. I take 5 pills daily to keep my heart healthy and to keep the stint working the correct way. The good thing is that I stopped smoking that day! I was scared that day and I don’t want to go there again. I exercise and get my physicals and cardiology physicals also. I have had no problems since then. I want to keep it that way. I had a good day. I went to the gym with my Mom and I worked out for 45 mins. I joined weight watchers to try and lose 35 pounds. I have put on 5 pounds yearly and it has added up. There is no way that I am going to gain anymore. I am making this the top thing on my list. When I don’t want to go to the gym, I push myself to go. It has been cold and windy here and it would be easier just to stay in my pj’s. I have had gambling urges the last few days but I haven’t acted upon them. I have found other, more constructive things to do. I have been doing some small projects at home and it is starting to look more like my style, more like home. Thanksgiving and Christmas is at my house. I am getting the menu together and my Mom and I are going to do the cooking. It will be fun!!! Take care all!

[lizbeth4]

P, my Mother does have a gambling problem but she doesn’t think so. We had a awesome weekend together. We went to several yard sales. My Sister always gets them to lower the prices. I bought a antique settee for my office, a nightstand, a 1920’s quilt and a shelve for my perfume bottles. Of course, I didn’t pay their full price with my Sister there. My Sister has a truck so we were able to get everything to my house. We went for breakfast afterwards and then for a drive to a nearby town, 50 miles away. My Sister wanted to check it out for her youngest son as he is getting out of the service the end of the month, full disability. He just had shoulder surgery and has a brain injury from the war. He is now exhibiting signs of Parkinson’s, major tremors on one side of his body. His life span has been severely altered. Very sad as he is only 29 years old. His wife just had a little girl 2 weeks ago. You never know how lucky you are. Everything is going well. I worked out this morning, ouch. I am committed to work out 5 days this week. I haven’t thought about gambling which is very awesome. It is getting cold here so I have pulled out the boots and sweaters. Loving life!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Sad and Cat for your posts! Thanks for your support! My Daughter text me again and asked me to forgive her again for her being so selfish. She said that she took a long look at her life and realized how selfish she had been with me and my kindness. That she was glad that I told her no! It is a start! I came home this morning. My trip was nice and relaxing, but I am glad to be home. My Sister is here for the weekend so I stopped by my Mom’s to visit. When we were talking, my Mom kept getting mad about nothing. My Sister asked me why she was reacting that way. I don’t know??? She also wanted to go to the casino. My Sister told her that she didn’t have the money to go and I didn’t respond. I am not financing a trip to the casino. Dah, I just figured out why she is so angry! No money=No casino. I am home now doing laundry and resting. I told my Sister that I would come back tomorrow and we would have lunch together. I’m going to kick back and relax!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post! My daughter text me with a I love you yesterday and I responded with the same. It is my last day here. I had a fantastic dinner and watched the sunset with my cousin. It has been a relaxing, stress free time. Going back to the city tomorrow. Time flies when you are having fun!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole for your post! We did some shopping. I had to get some souvenirs for my Grandson. We had lobster tacos for lunch. Very delicious! Carole, saying no to my Daughter was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I know it is the right thing to do but it doesn’t make it any easier. I pray that she finds the path to want to get help. The last 2 1/2 days has flown by. Tomorrow is our last full day here. It has been fun and relaxing.

[lizbeth4]

I am enjoying my time at the beach. We have had some awesome seafood and have done a little shopping. We were looking for shells and forgot about the waves coming in and got totally drenched. It was cold and I had tons of sand in my hair. We had a good laugh. I am relaxing and enjoying the ocean.

[lizbeth4]

I had a nice dinner with my Sister tonight. We went back to her place and talked for 2 hours. I asked her to Thanksgiving Dinner and for Christmas. She didn’t say yes or no, but I did ask her. I am leaving for my trip tomorrow. I am very excited and it will be amazing. I have the house all to myself as my Grandson spent the night with his Dad and my Daughter went to a concert with her friends and is staying the night with her best friend. No gambling for me! Things are going great.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kathryn for your post. It is good to hear that your Mother is doing well and that you like the facility that she is living in. My only living Aunt (92 years old) went to a care facility yesterday as she needs 24 hour care and all of her children work and are unable to take care of her. She has Parkinson’s and is getting worse. I wonder a lot how it will be if I am unable to take care of my Mother. There are some nice facilities here also. My Mother is slowing down both mentally and physically but can still take care of herself. I see her daily when I am at home. I try to help her as much as I can but I am not in denial that I may not be able to care for her when the time comes. We will have to see. My youngest Daughter text me today asking for money as she has no where to live. I told her no more money. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I need to stop enabling her. Things will never change till she figures out her life. I talked to my oldest Daughter and she was reassuring me that I was doing the best thing. Honestly, I can’t keep doing what I have been doing as nothing changes. So I am hanging in there. I am going down to the city tomorrow to spend a few days with my Daughter and Grandson before I leave for San Diego. Tomorrow night is my Grandson’s baseball game. It will be fun!!! I am not having gambling urges. I am dealing with my sadness!

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