[lizbeth4]

Christmas was wonderful. Today we played board games and tonight we all went to the movies. My Mother is really trying to break my spirit or that’s how I feel. Today she was really nasty to me and I finally broke. I told her that I was a good daughter to her and that no matter what I did, it was never going to be good enough for her and that I was through trying. She can be a unhappy person but I can’t let her unhappiness affect me anymore. I will do what I feel is necessary to be happy. She just sat there with a blank stare on her face. Honestly, she could care less. Everything is about her and how she feels. I was so sad and felt so drained afterwards. Really it isn’t healthy. Also, she is unhappy that my Grandson is staying with me for 1 week before he goes back to school. That is real sad that she is jealous of a 8 year old. Sorry about the rant. I am feeling a little depressed.

[lizbeth4]

Everything is prepped for Christmas dinner. The cake is cooling down. Waiting for the family to come from the city!! Wishing everyone here Happy Holidays!!!

[lizbeth4]

Merry Christmas!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Charles! I am getting ready for my family to come tomorrow evening for the Christmas holidays. I am making a special cake for my Mom tomorrow. It is a cake that her Sister used to make for her. I am really hoping that it turns out. Everything is wrapped, even the game table (with some difficulty). I cleaned my home yesterday and even decorated with some lights outside!! It will be good to have company for 4 days. I am hoping my Grandson will stay with me as I need some “us” time. Not seeing him is what I miss the most about the city. Take care everyone and Happy Holidays!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi mzbaeka. GA meetings have really helped me in my recovery. It felt awkward at first but the more you go the easier it becomes. Tell us how it goes. You will be there with others who know just what you are going through. You are making a good choice. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. It was a good day My Mom and I celebrated her birthday today with lunch and a small cake. Yes Vera, I was determined to get the game table put together. It is all done. I just need to find a way to wrap it. Lol! I had reoccurring dreams last night about my Husband. It was so strange. The last dream he asked me about his grievance money. I woke this morning thinking about it. I am calling the union tomorrow to see if I am entitled to his share as he was on the rolls at the time also. I plan on taking this money and putting it into my savings. It may be some time before we are paid. Anyways, I am going to clean house tomorrow. Everyone will be here on Wednesday evening and are staying till Sunday. I think my Grandson will be staying with me for 5 days when everyone else goes home. He is on winter break. W haven’t spent time alone for awhile. I know I will enjoy it. All in all, life is good!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post! I spent the day with my Mom and we had lunch together. I haven’t quit finished putting the game table together for my Grandson. I am almost there. I didn’t realize that it was going to be such a big job! I thought about treating myself to the casino today because it’s my birthday! I did refrain! What a dumb thought. I had good news via the mail today. I am on the list (work) for a grievance settlement. I was on the rolls at the time of the grievance so even though I am retired, I am still iligible for this. Receiving money is always good news!!!!!

[lizbeth4]

I had a little of a bumpy start to my day. I had to get a new battery for my car. The car isn’t that old but who knows how old of a battery was put in at the dealers when I purchased the car. I am over it now!! My Mom’s and my birthday dinner was awesome last night. I had a slight cold for 2 days but I am feeling much better today. I am still working on putting the game table together that I bought for my Grandson. I am hoping to finish it today. Nothing else going on here.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post! Looking back, the last 21 month since the death of my Husband have been a whirlwind. I have relocated, started a new life. I think I need to give myself a break as I have handled all of this pretty well. I think it is okay to be sad and a little depressed here and there. It is sad to go through birthdays and holidays without my Husband but I have to deal with it and my feelings. I know it will get easier as the years go by. I will always have all of the memories stored in my heart. Today is kind of gloomy and it is raining. Snow is expected about 20 miles north of here and I am hoping that we might get a little. I am going to tackle putting the game table that I bought for my Grandson (Christmas) together today. Wish me luck!!!! Take care everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kathryn for your post about Christmas. I don’t know why but I have been feeling very lonely this week. I put the tree up and decorated and wrapped the gifts. I have bought everything for the Christmas dinner. My Daughter, Grandson, and others are coming to stay with me for 4 days during Christmas and I am looking forward to it. I have had some gambling urges lately but haven’t acted upon them. I remember many tight Christmas’s when I gambled money away. Not this year!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Today was very strange! The town had no cable, internet, phones, including cell phones for 10 hours. The banks shut down and there were only a few ATM’s working. I was getting any information from the radio via our local radio station. They were saying that something was wrong with the fiber optics? I have no clue how all of that works. The town was isolated for those 10 hours. We could send a message out from the radio station if it was urgent. Don’t know how?? Anyways it was a eye opener and makes you realize what you take for granted. My oldest Daughter text me saying that they are coming up on the 24th and going home on Sunday. It will be the same people as Thanksgiving plus my ex-son-in-laws Mother will be joining us from Nevada. I am sure we will be doing some hiking and fishing. I don’t know why but I have been real lonely the last few days. Maybe it is the holidays. I know I will feel better once the crowd comes for Christmas.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Bettie for your post. All the reasons that you stated are the reasons that I gamble. I haven’t gambled and the urges are almost gone. I rode it out again. My Mom called this morning and I invited her to the dollar store and we picked up lunch on the way home. I stayed at her house for a few hours and then came home. She was griping about something concerning my sister. I tuned it out. I feel guilty when I don’t involve my Mom in my daily life although I know it is healthy to have my own time. I am working on this. My people pleasing side keeps coming out. I need to please myself first. I am going to the gym every day this coming week. That’s my commitment to myself. Well, off to bed so I can get up early tomorrow

[lizbeth4]

Hi Lulu. Coming here is a great start. Charles said it well, use all barriers you can put into place. GA was great for me. Take care and stay positive.

[lizbeth4]

Hi VJ! Welcome to GT! Good for you in self excluding yourself from your usual betting sites! That is a good start. Are there GA meetings in the UK? They helped me a lot. You can talk to someone here to find out where meetings are at and to get some more info. You have to start somewhere! Take care and keep strong.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie. I am glad that you bought a plane ticket for Jen. The presents don’t matter, being together does! Just having my oldest Daughter and Grandson here for the holidays is all I need. I have the tree up, house decorated, and presents wrapped. I just have the Christmas dinner grocery shopping to do!!! I know you will have a wonderful Christmas with Jen there with you!! Take care.

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