[lizbeth4]

The last few days I have been depressed. I don’t know why but I am working through it without gambling. My first thought was to gamble but I haven’t gone there and don’t plan on it! It doesn’t help that it is rainy and foggy here either. I have worked out everyday and usually that helps but not this time. I am going to the movies later this afternoon to see Wild. I read the book and I am looking forward to see the movie. I am leaving on Thursday for the city for 12 days. I know I will be in a better mood once I am with my Grandson and Daughters. It will get better!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post. I think that I can do the garden by myself by doing a little bit at a time. I am walking on the treadmill 1 1/2 miles in 30 minutes, 5 days a week. It really sucks to have limitations but that’s the way it is. Most of the snow has melted but there are patches here and there. I am tired today as I have been busy all day. My Mom came over for dinner and a few games of Yahtzee. I am going to get my warm PJS on and find a good movie to watch. Have a great night everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Kathryn. Happy 2015! When you described your Mother watching you as you left from your visit, it was heartbreaking. My Mother is beginning to have issues with her memory. She doesn’t remember things that were said the day before. (short term) If I remind her what was said, she gets confused and angry. I can only imagine how that must feel. She asked me to bake a special cake for Christmas (one that her oldest Sister used to make). I made it and on Christmas day I mentioned that she had wanted me to make it for her and she told everyone that she never said that. She had given me the recipe. I knew nothing about this cake till then. I can see myself in your story. I know it is hard for you!!! I am wishing you the best year ever. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi kpat! I am sorry that you are starting over. It is good that you are able to come back here and say it. No judgments here!! We have all been there. I was reading back on your thread and read about playing a gambling game with family. I think that most of us here have CG’S in our families. My Mother and Sister are definitely CG’s but are in denial. When I told them that I had a gambling problem they both didn’t have much to say and kind of dismissed me. I guess it hit too close to home. There is a lot of addiction issues within my family, alcohol and drugs. I managed to dodge those but the gambling. Don’t get too discouraged! You came back here and you are taking responsibility for your actions. Keep strong and keep going!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I didn’t go to the gym or anywhere today. I woke with a bad headache and spent most of the day resting. I don’t get these often but when I do I’m miserable. Anyways, 1 more week at home and then to the city for 11 days. I made my service appointment for my car and I am going to be having lunch with friends and my Sister while I am there. I will be busy but that’s how I like it. Keeping busy=no gambling!!! There is still a little snow left on the ground and it has been around 60 degrees here. I am going to buy a snow shovel this week so I have it in case I need to shovel my driveway in the future. I can do it in stages and not all at once. I have to figure out the best ways to do things with my heart issues. I can do almost anything but I can’t over exert myself as I get winded and I know my limits. I don’t mind doing yard work but I couldn’t keep up with it so I have hired someone to come once a month to do it. I think I can do the gardening as I can take my time and it isn’t going to be a huge garden. I sound like a wimp but I’m not. My heart doesn’t always want to co-operate.

[lizbeth4]

Today was a busy day. I took my Grandson home and spent some time with my youngest Daughter, then I came home. I am missing the little guy already. I will be home for 11 days and then I will be in the city for 11 days as my Daughter is going on a 3 day trip and we are going to celebrate my Grandsons 9th birthday the following weekend. No sense in going home for a few days and coming back. I haven’t had any gambling urges lately. I am researching raised garden beds and figuring out what I am going to plant in the spring. I am not a gardener but I am going to give it a try. Always something be to learn.

[lizbeth4]

HI Jansdad, You made a very wise decision in not gambling. Way to go! Once is never enough for us! This is a new year and a new start. Keep thinking like that! It was really hard for me to come clean with others in my life about my gambling but it was freeing. It also made me more accountable for my actions. Just a thought. Take care and Happy New Year’s to you and your family.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks kpat for your post! I hope your New Year’s was awesome and that this coming year will be full of wonderful things for you and your family. I adore my Grandson and I will only have one grandchild so he is my joy! We stayed up till 3am, playing games, ect. My fondest memories as a child was spending time with my Grandmother. She was the one person in my life that gave me unconditional love and never judged me. I spent a lot of time at her home as she lived right across the street from us while I was growing up. She has been gone for 30 years but she was one of the wisest, kindest, and most loving persons that I have ever known. It has stopped snowing and I am watching some neighbors shoveling out their driveways. I am a little scared to do mine as I have heart issues and it is hard work. I hope I don’t sound like a wimp but I know my limits and I don’t take it lightly. Every snow removal company here is booked so I am hoping that some of it melts so I can get out of my driveway by Saturday as I am taking my Grandson back home. Anyways, I am having some hot tea and relaxing as my Grandson sleeps. Life is good!

[lizbeth4]

Happy New Year’s Charles! I am spending New Year’s Eve with my Grandson. We are going to have some apple-pear cider and wear our funny hats and use our party horns!! I am looking forward to a peaceful, healthy life in 2015!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Cat for your post. I just posted on your thread. It has snowed all day and is supposed to snow tomorrow. My Grandson and I had a awesome snowball fight and he had a great time! We are enjoying some hot chocolate. Tonight we are going to bring in the New Year with apple-pear cider and hats and party horns!!!! Wishing everyone a great New Year’s Eve. Be safe!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Cat! Thank you for your post and for checking in on me. I am doing good and looking forward to a new year. It is awesome that your Husband isn’t drinking. You must really be proud of him! I know of the health problems associated with drinking as I experienced them with my Husband. When we get older, it is so much harder to rebound. I will keep him in my prayers. Have a Happy New Year’s and take care friend.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie! Thanks for your recent post. I think that our Mothers were related in a past life. LOL!! When my Mother opened my present at Christmas, she acted so surprised and taken aback as she said, “We don’t exchange presents”. That statement was said as we had about 7 people at my house for Christmas. I replied,”Mom, I always buy you a present”. Her face was flushed and she said nothing. She did buy 1 gift, for my oldest Daughter?? I don’t understand the reason behind it but alright!! We will never figure them out Bettie, and I am through trying. It is what it is! I hope you are feeling better. My Grandson woke with a sore throat, so we are staying home today in our PJ’S! Hope your Christmas was wonderful and that you will have a awesome New Years! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Bettie for your post! I know that we both can relate to our Mother’s. I bought my Mother a TV as the one in her bedroom had died. When she opened it, she said that we don’t buy gifts for each other. I told her that I buy her a gift every Christmas. I think she said that as there were other’s present for Christmas. She did buy one gift, for my oldest Daughter??? I really don’t care as I don’t need anything and I am used to her doing strange and bazaar things!!! She either acts like a lion and attacks everything I do and say or she acts like a little lamb, fragile and weak. I know other’s that read this will think that I am mean or cruel but it is the truth. A lot of what she does is a act!! On my part, I am dumb for playing into it!! I have decided that after the New Year that I am going to start another path of my new life and I am going to meet new people and have a social life!! My Mother refers to me as her companion. I have to keep telling her that I am her daughter. Very irritating. On the home front, my Grandson woke with a sore throat. We will be staying home today in our PJ’S and resting. We are expecting some snow tomorrow. He told me last night that yesterday was one of his best days. We played Monopoly and other games and had pizza delivered. He told me over and over how much he loved me!!! That is what it’s all about.

[lizbeth4]

Everyone went back home yesterday. My Grandson and I are spending 5 days together before I take him home. We have had a great day together. I am trying to release the negativity that I feel when I am with my Mother. It is hard to do but I am trying not to let her get me upset as it serves me no purpose. She is acting very strangely. I think that she sits in her house and dwells on anything that she can perceive as something someone has done against her. I have so much love in my life with my kids and Grandson and friends. I don’t know why I dwell on what can never be. Anyways, all is well here. Hope everyone is having a happy holiday season!!

[lizbeth4]

I just reread my last post. It is full of sadness and despair. It also brings back a lot of the same feeling I experienced as a child involving my Mom. I know that I am in control of how I react to others actions but I wish so much that she and I could be close. It isn’t going to happen as she isn’t going to change. I have to accept it. Maybe this is too much for me to work through by myself. I might need to talk to a family counselor. I am having a good day spending it with my Grandson. The others went hunting which isn’t my thing. I hope everyone had a awesome holiday. New years is right around the corner, a time for new starts and goals. Take care everyone.

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