[lizbeth4]

Thanks sad for your post. Thanks for your compliment. I have come a long way and accomplished a lot especially since the death of my Husband (22 months ago) There were many times I wanted to go on a gambling binge but I processed the thoughts through my mind and the consequences. I’m not getting any younger and I need to make sure that I have a secure future. I think my Mom isn’t going without anything but her extra money isn’t lasting till her next payday and she has no savings. My dinner with my sister was good. I approached the subject of mom’s mental health and my sister blew me off. That’s the response I was expecting. She said that mom is real needy and that she is glad that I am there to help her. My oldest Daughter told me that I wasn’t alone that she will help me anyway she can and that I have her support. So that was good. It is what it is. I’m having lunch with my youngest Daughter today and doing the grocery shopping for the birthday party.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks kpat for your post. I think it will be time for me to go home after the birthday party and before the sleep over. LOL!! I think that my Mom is gambling a lot more than she will admit. It is sad that the casinos bus people in to gamble. I think that the elderly are targeted by the casinos. A lot of them are probably lonely, alone, and they get caught up in the gambling madness and become addicts. It is so sad. I had dinner and a good visit with my Sister. She was telling me that she had taken my Mom to the casino and given her money to gamble with last weekend. I think my Mom is out of control but I can’t stop her. I don’t feel like I can even discuss it with her. I just feel tired thinking about it. Kpat, I think that is why my Mom is so angry a lot of the time. She knows she has a problem but won’t admit it to herself. That is the hardest step.

[lizbeth4]

Today I am really tired! I am not doing much. I took my Grandson to school and went and bought all of the party decorations and favors (Batman). I’ve done some laundry and loaded up the dishwasher. I am going to pick up my Grandson from a after school class (computer) today. We are going to get him some dinner and I am taking him to his Dad’s house, then I am off to have dinner with my Sister. I called my Mom last night to see how she was doing. I knew that my Cousin was there visiting but I wanted to touch base with her. She said that my Cousin had given her some money and that they had just returned from the casino. My Mom has always been able to pay her bills and have extra money every month. Now it seems like she never has any money and it makes me wonder if she goes to the casino a lot. I either buy or make us dinners regularly so I know that she doesn’t spend much on groceries. Well, it’s her money and she can spend it anyway she wants. I could never approach her with maybe she has a gambling problem. My Daughter and I are getting along fine. She has 2 big accounts that she is working on so I volunteered to help get the party stuff and food shopping for the cookout. I am going to clean and straighten the house on Friday. I will be going home Saturday after the party. There is a sleep over (6 boys)!! My Daughter’s friend is going to stay the night and help her with them. My Grandson is so excited!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Carole and John for your posts! Carole, my Mother would want me to close up my house and move in with her so she could have control, or that’s what she thinks. Anyways, I am going to have dinner with my Sister tomorrow night and talk to her about Mom. I think that sometimes she wants attention and she makes things bigger than they really are. It is like dealing with a young child sometimes. I don’t think that I could live with her. I have caught her lying and I don’t know if she is faking anything but with her who knows? John, I am like many others here. We all have issues and challenges. It is a lot easier to deal with them when I am not gambling. Like today, I took my car in to be serviced, oil change and tire rotation. The dealership recommended that I get new tires soon. I do a lot of driving (distance between city and small town where I live). It was something that I had to do so I went to a local tire shop and bought new tires and had a alignment done. I was happy that I wasn’t gambling and had the money to cover the costs. I had breakfast and visited with a old friend. She is awesome and really helped me emotionally when my Husband was sick and when he died. Being able to see her was one of the highlights of my day. The other one was when I picked my Grandson up from karate camp. We had dinner together and talked about his day at school. It’s the little things that make me happy!

[lizbeth4]

Hi kpat, you are doing the right things for your teen. They will try you and it does take a lot of patience to deal with them. Hang in there. I noticed yesterday that there were a lot of homeless people begging on the streets. I see one once in awhile in the small town I live in. Very sad. Some are addicts but a lot have mental issues and end up on the streets. My 9 year old grandson and I have stopped and given money to help them. I think it is good to help others and it is good for the kids to see how others live. Anyways, hang in there and stand your ground with your son. He will appreciate it when he is grown.

[lizbeth4]

Hi John. I am glad that you had a good trip and enjoyed time with your son. It is good to relax and to be able to treat your son. I sympathize with your Father as I lost my husband almost 2 years ago. It is hard to move forward when you have spent so much of your life with your mate. I hope he will be okay. I like your positive outlook for the future. Little steps!

[lizbeth4]

Bettie, I am glad that you are feeling better. My friend has something that sounds similar to what you have and she has been sick for awhile. I am worried about her as she is almost 80 years old. I am supposed to see her this week. I will have to see how she is feeling. It is good that Jen found a job and that your boss realizes your worth. I too feel bad that I haven’t connected to many of the new people here. Sometimes I feel like I come off preachy or a know it all which is the furthest from the truth. I am doing well to keep my stuff together some days. LOL!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Last night my Grandson had a friend spend the night. A new friend who lives 2 houses away. My grandson and I went to the amusement park today. He went on a few rides and we played a lot of games. He doesn’t care for roller coasters. We had lunch and came home and threw the football for awhile. I am tired. LOL! I just love my daughter’s new neighborhood. There are a lot of kids and a few single moms like her. We made a good choice in this house. Life is good and I am enjoying myself and my time with my Grandson.

[lizbeth4]

I am glad that you have water and sewage again. You sound much more upbeat. When I am gone for awhile, I leave the water (in the main bathroom) on, just a drip, as it helps the lines from freezing. I get overwhelmed when things happen but I am getting used to dealing with them as I have no one else to rely on. You are a good Grandmother, Carole. At least we have our grandchildren that bring us joy. Have fun at the movie. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I am so blessed to have my Grandson, kpat! We have spent the day at home, playing. Tomorrow we are going to the arcade. I have done more laundry and cleaned out the turtles aquarium. I have straightened the house. I have called the home warranty place as the dryer has stopped working. As it is a long weekend, it will probably be Tuesday before I get a call with a appointment time. I have been hanging out the laundry to dry. As it is 70 degrees in the city it is dying fast. We ordered pizza for lunch/dinner. I am at peace right now and am enjoying my Grandson. No gambling urges. This coming week will be busy with getting my car serviced and having lunch with a friend and dinner with my sister. We also need to shop for my Grandsons birthday barbeque next Saturday. We need to decorate, etc. I ordered a bouncy house which will be set up 1 hour before the party. 6 of his friends are staying for a sleep over. He is so excited. Kpat, I never run out of things to do. LOL!!!

[lizbeth4]

My daughter has left for her trip. I had my car cleaned and made a run to the grocery store. My grandson and I will have a 3 day weekend to ourselves. We are going to the park and a amusement park to play games and go on rides. My daughter had a tummy virus the week before I arrived and the house is in disarray. Maybe I can tackle it also as my Grandson’ s birthday party is the following Saturday. Anyways, I will be busy. I called my Mom this morning and she is okay. My sister will be with her this weekend and my cousin is going to spend Tuesday and Wednesday with her. I know that she will be eating healthy on those days. Well, I am off to finish some laundry and maybe clean the fridge before I pick up my Grandson from karate camp. Have a great day everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole. Sorry that you are depressed. It always seems when we are down multiple things occur to bring us down further. I will be praying that your Hubby and son in law don’t get laid off. We both know how awesome this site is so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I am always here for you. Please call me, text me or email me. I am a good listener and I care about you. I want you to find happiness as we all deserve that in our lives. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole. I text you yesterday to see how you are and how your vacation went. Just wondering how you are? Post soon.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post. I felt better after reading it. I am not a only child but feel like one sometimes. My Mom would never agree to any tests to rule out dementia. I had a hard time getting her to agree to wearing the heart monitor and her upcoming stress test (when I come back home). I called to tell her that I arrived safely and to see how she was. She didn’t answer the phone. She was upset that I was leaving and this would be her way to get back at me. I realize that I can’t be everything to everyone. If I don’t put myself first, I feel that my mental and physical health will suffer. I am going to talk to my sister when we have dinner this week. She will be with my Mom this weekend, so she can see for herself how my mom’s mental health is failing. I was approached by a neighbor this morning when I was packing the car that my neighbor across the street passed away. He was 82 years old and in bad health. I will reach out to his wife and son when I get back home. Thanks again Vera for your advice. It means a lot.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post. I think the gambling urges are coming from both being tired and lonely! I am hanging in there. Today is my Grandson’s 9th birthday!! He is such a awesome kid! The movie Wild was awesome. I think it is good to read the book first as everything couldn’t be fit into the movie. My Mom and I went to the gym and I had a good workout. I must have lost a few inches as I am able to fit into 2 pair of jeans that were too tight! Yeah!! I am packing and getting ready to go to the city tomorrow for 10-12 days! I will get some one on one time with my Grandson when my Daughter is in Vegas for 3 days. I asked him to figure out something for us to do this coming weekend. I am thinking it might be to go to the arcade. Anyways, whatever it is, I will have fun. I have been down too because I am still trying to find my way, my life alone. I am a private, reserved person and it is hard for me to put myself out there but I know I have too! I will never meet any new people staying at home. Wow, I just didn’t think that I would be alone and trying to figure out my life at 57. I think that is why I have been depressed. I am trying but it is hard! I know that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle but sometimes I feel overwhelmed with sadness for my Husband. My Mother causes me stress also. She is always saying things that I said, that I never said. I don’t think that she is making this up but I think that something is wrong with her. She has good long term memory recall but her short term memory is terrible. I don’t know is if it dementia??? When I tell her that I didn’t say something, she gets mad and tells me that I am lying. Honestly, it gets tiring and draining. I really don’t know if I could handle her full time. She had always said that she wanted to go to a assisted living if she was unable to take care of herself. Now she is saying that she wants me to take care of her. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy after spending a day with her as she doesn’t know what she is talking about half the time. She is very mean also. I just feel like I have a lot on my plate. My Sister is coming up this weekend to visit her. She knows that Mom is acting strange but keeps saying, I’m glad you are there for her. I do have power of attorney but it is a hard position to be in. I guess I will have to deal with it and make decisions that I feel are best for everyone.

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