[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your post Sad. I was disappointed in myself that I didn’t push through and go to the party. I laid on the couch all day yesterday. I am feeling about the same today but I am going to try to add the organic compost to my garden soil. I think that I would feel better doing something. I do feel fulfilled doing things for both of my daughter’s and grandson. When I come to the city next week for the cancer walk, I am staying a extra day and getting a hotel room so my youngest Daughter and I can spend some time together. She is staying with friends and our get togethers are spent in restaurants as her living arrangements aren’t the best. We can have dinner together and just spend some one on one time together. I do feel pulled sometimes to the limit. When I get home from the city Mom wants me to spend everyday with her. I explain to her that I want to be in my home and that I need a few days to relax. She doesn’t get it. I told my Daughter that my visits would be sparse during the summer as it is so hot there and it is about 20 degrees cooler here. I need to stick to what I say and put boundaries up again. It’s all a process.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks John, Carole and P for your posts. I am getting through I woke with a upset stomach and bad headache and chills. I think that I have what my Mom has. I am staying in my PJS today. I decided not to attend the party this evening. I will rest and take care of myself. Carole, thanks for the invite and you are always welcomed to come here. I self isolate also. I want to join in on community things but I am afraid to go out of my comfort zone. I think your Granddaughter is right about the negative coping. If I don’t come out of this soon, I will seek help. I think that I am just going through a bad patch. P, I have just laid on the sofa and watched Netflix all day. That is something that I don’t usually do and it feels good. LOL!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post. Today, I am staying home as I am feeling a bit low. In 20 days it will be 2 years since my Husband died. I am experiencing some depression. I thought that is was supposed to get easier as time goes by. My Mom has been sick again (stomach virus) and I have been taking care of her. She is much better today and I decided that I needed to have some time for myself. She wasn’t happy that I wasn’t running to her house but she is feeling better and she will get over it. We are supposed to go to a party tomorrow evening that my Realtor is throwing for her clients. It is a big deal in this small town. I may have to force myself to go. Next Saturday, I am doing a walk for cancer with my oldest Daughter and her friends. They do it every year and I asked if I could participate this year. My Husband’s name will be on the team tee shirt. I will get through all of this. It is just hard! Life isn’t easy!

[lizbeth4]

We went fishing yesterday. My daughter was the only one to catch a fish. A good sized trout. We had a lot of fun and met some nice people as the other fishermen shared their tricks with us and pointed out the best places to fish. I followed my Daughter home The appliances were fixed today. Yeah! I am going home tomorrow after I see my youngest Daughter. There was no school today so my Grandson stayed home with me. He had his neighbor friend spend the night It is about 20 degrees warmer here so I will be glad to get home.

[lizbeth4]

My daughter and grandson are still sleeping. They had a long week. . We are going fishing tomorrow. She brought my Mom and I the prettiest orchids plants for Valentine’s day. I am feeling content today.

[lizbeth4]

My Daughter and Grandson are on their way to my house. I am so happy! My daughter is going to make a Valentine’s dinner for my Mom and I tomorrow. I have all of my fishing gear and I am ready to go. I hope that everyone had a awesome day.

[lizbeth4]

I am feeling much better today. I made it to the gym and I went on a walk this evening. I made dinner for my Mom and I. Is it me or do elderly people become grouchy? I am learning to tune it out most of the time. She seems to crave attention like a small child and is very self centered. I try to be understanding but it does get irritating. Her behavior makes me feel lonely. My daughter and grandson may come here this weekend. I invited them up for a fishing trip and picnic. We have had beautiful weather and it would be nice to spend some time doing outside stuff. I am going to get my fishing license and some new fishing gear tomorrow.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks C-Noel for your post. I think that going to GA and setting barriers, and coming here and accepting the help and advice from other CG’S have helped me tremendously with my recovery. I have gambled several times during my over 4 years here on GT. I came back here every time and started working towards my recovery again. I still have urges from time to time but I have been able to get through them without gambling. I will always be a CG! I try to live my life in a positive way. C-NOEL, I never thought that I would be able to have a gamble free life till I came to GT. I am still working on issues that have lead to my gambling addiction. I think that it is a ongoing process. Today, I am feeling much better. I have made it to the gym the last 3 days and plan on going the next 2 days. I am still not 100% but getting there.

[lizbeth4]

Well, I have been sick since Saturday. I have a head cold and sore throat. It isn’t too bad. I went to the gym this morning and walked 1 1/2 miles and rode the stationary bike. I grilled chicken and asparagus for dinner and my Mom came over. Yesterday we went to the plant nursery and I bought the seeds and fertilizer for my garden. I just need to wait for the night time temperatures to be higher. I am staying busy. I am going to take some cold medicine and get some rest so I will feel like going to the gym tomorrow.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole, I can’t even grasp how much money I have spent gambling! I know that it is a lot! It is good that you are getting organized with your paperwork. It seems like it is a never ending project. But like you said it is productive. I shredded and organized (filing cabinet) when I first moved in here but now my filing cabinet needs to be reorganized and I still have several boxes of paperwork to go through. I think that is one of my least favorite things to do. LOL!! I am getting my tax stuff together also and I know that I will have to pay taxes again. It is what it is!! All we can do is learn from our past mistakes and move forwards. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks kpat for your post! It makes a lot of sense to me as I have trouble putting myself first and sometimes I do cross the boundaries of helping and meddling. It is a tough situation to be in. I am at home now. The afternoon was completely wasted. The repairman showed up 1 1/2 hours late. He did call me to say that he was running late. Nothing was fixed. He had to order another part for the oven and he didn’t have the part for the dryer. He was supposed to order that 1 week ago, the first time he came out. He said that he would order the parts and have them expedited. He said that I could leave a key under the mat so he could get in as he didn’t want to inconvenience me. Um, that’s not going to happen!!! He wanted me to know he is bonded. Who cares? No one comes into the house without my Daughter or I there. There is a security system in place on the house. I called the warranty company and complained but they seemed not to care. I will not renew my contract with them again. I will find another home warranty company. So, hopefully the appliances will be fixed soon. Why can’t things run smoothly?? The positive thing that happened today was that my Grandson and both of his parents went to the new SpongeBob movie this evening. I am sure that it made him happy. I feel about the same. I am taking airborne and plan to go to bed soon. Whoo, it’s been quite the day!

[lizbeth4]

Carole, I am here for you. You know how to contact me. I am thinking of you today.

[lizbeth4]

As I wait for the appliance repair man, (they called yesterday), I am REFLECTING on my life, my actions, how I relate to others. This week has been hard. Firstly, I feel like I give my all only to feel let down by others. Yes, it does sound like a pity party. I won’t wallow long! My Grandson is having issues. Am I the only one who sees this? He got in trouble twice this week at school and had to bring home behavior slips for his Mommy to sign and of course he had to face consequences for his actions. So he is grounded from his electronics. There are other things which are out of character going on with him. I didn’t hear, is there anything going on, is something bothering you? I slept with him last night and I asked those questions. I didn’t get much of a response. I held him tight and snuggled him. I just felt a lot of sadness from him. He was in a better mood this morning and was talkative on the way to school. I am just worried that this is being taken too lightly. I have had a headache all morning and now have a sore throat. Maybe I didn’t escape the cold germs after all. I am ready to go home and stay put for awhile. I am learning that I should put myself first. Okay, I am a slow learner.

[lizbeth4]

Kpat, I am so glad that the investigation is over and that no further charges will be pursued. Teens are a rare bunch! You must have been so stressed out over all of this. Try to get a massage. You deserve it. I don’t think that there is a harder job than being a parent. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi I can. I believe that anyone can change if they want to and if they find the right tools to help them, whether it’s from a gambling addiction or drug addiction. I think that we get complacent and stop working on the issues that brought us to our addictions. I believe that once you stop the addiction you start feeling differently about yourself. I do believe in a higher power. This belief has helped me through many tough times in my life. I always say a prayer every morning of gratitude as I feel like I have been blessed in my life. Take care of yourself. There is a terrible cold strain going around. Family and friends have been sick for weeks with it. It is hard to get rid of. Take care.

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