[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat for your post. I just posted on Bettie’ s thread and it made me want to post some of my thoughts. I have wanted to gamble the last few days. I think the stress of my Mom’s surgery triggered my urges. Then the thought of taking care of her stressed me out. She is already running my Sister into the ground. She has been mean, very demanding and unappreciative. She spent 10 days in the hospital and the first 2 days after the surgery wasn’t doing very well. It could have went the other way but she survived. You would think that she would have a different outlook on life but it is the same story. I bought scratch tickets today and didn’t feel bad about it. I feel very stressed. I know, no excuse. I need to deal with these feelings.

[lizbeth4]

I’m sorry to hear that you gambled Bettie. But I am glad that you are here and being so honest. It’s hard when we are going through a tough time. It would have been nice for your Mom to be understanding and to have helped out with Jen. I know that must of hurt. Resentment feelings are hard to deal with. I know you are a strong lady. You will get through this. Good for you in stopping smoking. It is hard! It’s been over 4 years for me and it took a heart attack to get me to stop. Take care of yourself. I know that you have health issues and the stress can agrivate them. I hope that things will improve for you soon.

[lizbeth4]

My Sister is stepping up and came home with my Mom and I on Friday. She is staying for part of next week. My Daughter and Grandson are staying with me till tomorrow evening. I have been running errands, grocery shopping and picking up prescriptions. My Daughter went to my Mom’s this morning and helped my sister give my Mom a shower. I am taking advantage of the help as it will be me, alone, for over a week, till vacation when my cousin comes to stay with my Mom. She is doing much better, both physically and mentally. She needs to get her strength back which will take some time. Her appetite is getting better. She is sleeping well and taking cat naps during the day. It is good to be back home

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat for your post. My cousin who is a nurse also says the confusion will get better as soon as she is home in her own surroundings. I slept in her room, in the dreaded recliner last night. She called me, with the help of a nurse and sounded fearful. She thought the nurses were trying to poison her and she refused to take any meds till I got there. She seems to be more confused and scared at night. I am resting at my daughter’s house and I will go back this evening and stay the night with her. Glad that we will be going home in the next few days as my back and neck ache. You can’t get comfortable in the recliner. I will have help for a few days after we get home (sister), and then I am on my own. I live 4 blocks from her, so I will be staying with her till she recoups. I will keep a eye on her mental state. If it doesn’t get better, I will take her to the doctor and take it from there. It’s going to be alright.

[lizbeth4]

So I go to the hospital this morning and they had moved my Mom to a room closer to the nurses station and she is on a safety monitor. She woke during the night and was wondering around, didn’t know where she was and thought the nurses were hurting her. She was very agitated with everything today. The anesthesiologist said she may be confused for several weeks as she was medically asleep for 36 hours. The cardiologist said she would be going home in 2 to 4 days. I don’t know, this is scary.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat, Vera, and P for your posts! It means so much to me. Today my Mom was moved out of the ICU. She is doing much better. She can now grasp and hold things as the swelling in her hands is almost gone. Now she needs to walk more and eat to get her strength up. She hasn’t taken any pain meds for 2 days and is talking more. I am staying at the hospital for 6 to 7 hours daily then coming to my Daughter’s home to have dinner with her and my Grandson and sleep. I slept the first 2 nights in a reclining chair and my back and neck ached. She is in good hands and I don’t worry about her when I am not there. My Sister is going to take a few days off of work to help me so I can have a little break. My cousin who is a nurse is going to stay with my Mom while my Daughter, Grandson, and I are on vacation in June. My oldest Daughter said she would come up on weekends to help. So I don’t feel like I am in this alone. I will be glad when we can go home. Maybe by the end of the week.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat and P for your posts. Mom is doing much better. She is walking a little with the help of a walker. She is not as swollen. I think she will be moved from the ICU today. Things are looking up. Rehab is next.

[lizbeth4]

There is no change on my Mom’s condition. She is still in ICU. It is very worrisome. I have decided to make the 1 hour commute from my Daughter’s home to the hospital and back everyday, so I can sleep comfortably and rest. I stayed 2 nights in a hotel near the hospital and slept in a recliner at the hospital 2 nights. I slept well last night. I didn’t realize how tired I was.

[lizbeth4]

Kpat. Wish I was there on the boat. I love fishing. Sounds heavenly!! Life is better without gambling.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat. I am tired! My Daughter and cousin are with my Mom today. I am with my Grandson at his home and I am spending the night here. The doctor has decided to keep her in ICU as she is having difficulty breathing from going to a resting position to sitting up. She is exhausted. She is on medication to help her urinate to release the fluids she is retaining. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Thanks Kpat for your prayers and advice.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat. There’s alot to think about. My Mom had to have a blood transfusion last night as she was bleeding a lot. The surgeon was calling the nurse every 30 minutes as he was concerned. Finally it stopped. She is off of the respirator. They got her up today and she sat in a recliner for 1 hour then back to bed. She is retaining water and is very bloated. She has been very incoherent today due to the pain meds. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat for your post. I did have a awesome Mother’s Day. We are in the city. My Mom’s stent (heart) procedure didn’t happen. It was worse than the doctor thought. She had open heart, double bypass surgery this morning. She did well! She will be in ICU for 2 days. She is on a respirator and heavily sedated so her heart can rest. If she responds to cardiac rehab we should be able to go home in 6 to 7 days. She will have to take it easy for 3 months, no lifting over 10 pounds, pulling, pushing. Her sternum needs to have time to heal. My daughter, sister and cousin have been supportive. I am staying the next 2 nights in a nearby hotel as the hospital is in a town far from my daughter’s home. When my Mom is back into a regular room, I can stay the nights with her. I am tired, drained. It’s been a stressful 2 days waiting for the surgery. Good news that it’s over with and that she is doing well. Going to get something to eat, take a hot bath and watch tv. Time to de-stress!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your support and advice. I haven’t gambled. I have done a lot of work on myself through counseling and those resources have helped me to be able to think things through before I leap back into the gambling nightmare. As soon as my Mom’s heart issue is resolved I’m going to have a heart to heart talk with my Sister concerning my Mom’s mental issues. We need to have her tested for Alzheimer’s. Maybe with both of us working together, We can come up with a plan. I had a paralegal draw up her power of attorney, will, last wishes, ect. last year. I am her executor and can make decisions for her if she is unable to. I know she is going to fight us about being tested. I hope that I don’t have to go through the courts to have her deem incompetent. She is so darn mean and nasty! I think she is reacting this way because she is scared as she knows something isn’t right with her mental state. She says some bizarre things. It just gets tiring dealing with it. Sometimes, I feel like I am losing my mind, that’s when I have to detach from her and have my own personal space. A person can only take so much. Honestly, I never see her happy. She is either moping around, being angry, or putting other’s down. Some of these traits are not new but part of her personality. I do think that I need counseling to help me deal more effectively.

[lizbeth4]

Well, I didn’t sleep well last night. I think that I am worrying about my Mom. Besides her physical health, her mental health is becoming concerning. I need to start confronting these issues and decide what I need to do. Since I lost my Husband, the reality of death is always in my mind. My Father died when I was 16 years old. We were not close but he was my Dad. He drank himself to death. I have lost 2 Step Fathers, one who raised me. So how am I dealing with this? I wanted to gamble earlier this morning. I guess I wanted to run from the reality because it’s easier to do, but not really in the long run. I cleaned, watched Tv and now I am posting as it helps me to vent and process my thoughts. I know that I will get through this. I will not gamble.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your supportive post. We don’t have a exact date for the angiogram but it will be on a Tuesday. The cardiologist will be able to determine if a stent, multiple stents or heart surgery is needed and it will be done then. My Mom is taking everything in stride. I know she is nervous, who wouldn’t be? She was very appreciative towards me for taking her to the doctor and being there for her. I am totally drained, so tired. It will be a early night.

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