[lizbeth4]

I realized today that I am depressed. I think it may be coming back from vacation and to reality. It’s time to put my big girl panties on and deal with it!

[lizbeth4]

P, thanks for your post. I am making a point to establish time for myself. I love the gym. My Mom was more active yesterday. She watered her outside plants and did some things around the house. Encouraging! My recovery has been tested several times recently. I figured I have had urges from depression. It isn’t easy being a caregiver. I wouldn’t change anything as my Mom took care of her Mom. It’s what my family does! I am trying to keep upbeat!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post. I am calling her cardiologist as orders were to be put in for cardiac rehab. We haven’t heard anything yet. My Mom opened up to my Daughter and told her that she was depressed. My Daughter also stressed that it was hard on everyone involved. My Mom listen but didn’t reply. She did ask me to mail a card (thank you) to my cousin. I told my Mom that I would spend the nights with her but I was going back to the gym and hanging around my home during the day. I think she is getting around well and can do a lot for herself. I am down the street if she needs anything.

[lizbeth4]

I have learned to ignore when someone is annoying me. I used go say something but usually annoying people really don’t care and don’t get it. Ignoring has helped me to not feed into the nonsense. I have let another’s words lead me to gambling urges. I won’t go there again as I am giving that person too much power over my life!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Charles for your post. I definitely needed this vacation. Everywhere we went was awesome and spending time with my Aunt was great. My Daughter is spending the night with my Mom which I appreciate. It gives me some more time with my Grandson before they leave tomorrow. My Mom isn’t progressing in her recovery. I hate to say it but it’s like she is giving up. I know that she has been through a lot and I think she is depressed which I was told is normal. She acts so negative and I feel like she is getting too dependant on me. She is capable at this point to take care of her basic needs but she doesn’t try. I will take it one day at a time. I plan to start back at the gym on Monday. I need to take care of myself. Oh, she was very mean to my cousin who stayed with her for the week I was gone. She had very few positive things to say about her. Real sad and discouraging. I’m getting mentally tired just talking about it. I’m going to take care of myself and distance myself so I can get through this.

[lizbeth4]

It’s time for our vacation to end. We spent the last 3 days hiking around Yosemite. I am so glad that we did! It was breathtaking. My Grandson and Daughter are still sleeping. I am sitting on the deck, relaxing before our long trip home. I feel so much gratitude for my life and everyone in it! I am so happy that gambling is no longer a part of it.

[lizbeth4]

We spent the day with a amazing woman, my 92 year old Aunt. It was quite the day. Even though her body is failing from Parkinson’s, her mind is sharp. She met my Grandson for the first time and fell in love with him. It was a awesome day.

[lizbeth4]

We made it to our first destination of our vacation (13 hour drive). I talked to my cousin and we are going to see my 92 year old Aunt tomorrow. My Daughter hasn’t seen her in 18 years and this will be the first time that my Grandson has met her. She lives in a nursing home since my Uncle died last year. She is the last of my Mom’s siblings. I am feeling much better today. I slept most of yesterday and my cold is almost gone. This vacation is going to be awesome.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post! When I say my yard, I am referring to my lot or acreage my home sits on. So, I have a front, back and side yards. There is upkeep such as trimming of trees and bushes, watering, and keeping the lot clean of weeds, ect.. My Mom and I both live where there is a Home Owners Association. We can get fined if we do not maintain our yards. My Mom is very independent and I know it is hard for her to rely on others. I have heard that it is very common to get depressed when there is a long recuperation time, for her and myself. Today we sat outside on her patio and she had her coffee and I had my tea. She seemed a little better, mentally after that. I am at my house doing a few things for my trip. I have either a cold or allergy issues. I am taking some over the counter medicine and plan to nap when my Mom is during the day. I am looking forward to my trip but I am a little tired. Hopefully, I can get some rest the next few days. Vera, gambling is aging. I think that it attributed to some of my health issues as I wasn’t taking care of myself. Gambling has so many negative factors!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat!!!! Mom’s cardiologist appointment went very well. She will start cardiac rehab when I return from my vacation. I am going to try to go to my gym and work out while she is at rehab and then I can pick her up on the way home. I am at home doing a few things for my trip. Can’t wait!! It will be fun!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post! I am trying to give myself some “me” time everyday. I come to my home for about 1-2 hours after Mom has had breakfast and her morning pills. Today while I was gone, she decided to clean up the dog poo in her side yard. Fortunately the next door neighbor stopped her. She said she was going to stop anyway as she couldn’t do it! I am taking her to her follow up cardiologist appointment tomorrow morning. She has been very thankful and grateful towards me. I have been giving her plenty of hugs as I know it must be hard not to be able to do much. She usually has a lot of energy and is always doing something around her home. My yard/handyman has resumed painting my backyard fence and it looks amazing. He should be done with the outside of the fence by this Thursday. The inside can wait till I come back from California. He is doing my yard tomorrow also. I have asked him to do my Mom’s yard next week. She usually does her own. I am looking forward to Friday as my cousin will be here to stay with Mom and my Daughter and Grandson will arrive for our trip. I am making sure to get plenty of sleep, eating healthy. A week away will do me some good!!

[lizbeth4]

Cat, I happened to be home doing a few things around my home before returning to my Mom’s and saw your post!! It is just what I needed today as I was feeling a little down. Guess I was having a pity party!!! I have learned a lot from you and others here also. I think that it awesome that we have a place to go (GT) for support and that we learn from each other. I feel blessed to know many of you here and for all of your support. Today is going to be a better day! I don’t have internet at my Mom’s house, bummer!!! I need to come home for a bit everyday to refocus and get away. Cat, thanks again for making my day!! You are a awesome person. The support that you gave me during my Husband’s illness and after his death is something that I will never forget. You helped me get through it!!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Ican for your post. It means a lot to me! Just popping in to say that I am okay. My Sister went home yesterday. She was a big help and we bonded some as we haven’t been together for awhile. My Mom is doing well. She is just taking it slow and getting a lot of rest. Tuesday we go to the cardiologist appointment. She will need to do cardiac rehab. I have no internet at her home so I stopped by to water my plants and decided to update. I can leave her for short periods of time, but not too long. Ican, I will take care of myself. Home health care is always a option. She seems to be doing alright mentally this last week. Thanks for all of the support. It really helps!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post. We were offered home health care before we left the hospital as my Mom’s insurance covers it. I decided no but the nurse and social worker told me that I could go through her Doctor or Cardiologist and get a order to get help if I needed it later. My Sister is staying till Friday. She is staying with my Mom and is really helping her. My Sister is seeing first hand how our Mom’s mental health has diminished. I talked to one of the nurses at the hospital about this and she said that it would be good to go through her primary doctor for advice. My Sister is onboard as she knows that it is only going to get worse and that we are going to have to make some difficult decisions later on. It feels good to have someone to share this load with. My Mom continues to get stronger and is doing very well in her recovery. I am making her follow up appointment soon. She will have limitations in lifting, no driving, etc. for the next 2 months. Only 10 days till vacation. I am ready!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks happy. I didn’t know about Vera. I hope everything is alright with her. My Grandson and I spent time together last night and I feel more grounded now. My Sister and oldest Daughter are being very supportive. They both have jobs, but they are helping as much as they can. I am grateful that my Mom survived. She could have died here as we don’t have the facilities at our hospital to have saved her. After her surgery she was hanging on for 2 days and it could have gone either way. My heart attack and death of my Husband were eye openers for me. I guess some people don’t get it. I will be more on guard with my gambling urges. Thanks for the support

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