[lizbeth4]

Thanks Bettie I received half of the money back. The second half I’m supposed to have by next Friday They have stopped taking money out. My Sister called and suggested dinner and game night instead of the casino. I feel relieved.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post! I am not going to GAMBLE! I have made out a budget so I can get my credit cards paid off even faster and so I can start building up my savings!! I don’t want to detour from my plans! I have some major home improvements that I want to start next spring. I am making future plans and only I can make sure that they come true! I will stay home while they are at the casino. I am home for 2 weeks then to the city again for a couple of days to help with my Grandson. My oldest Daughter’s job (3 weeks) is going great! She has already received a healthy raise and promotion. Her boss is paying for her to get certified as a project manager. She is happy and so motivated. Anything that I can do to help her achieve her goals!! My youngest Daughter is not faring so well. She is stuck in her addiction and can move forward. It is so painful to watch. I just keep telling her how much I love her and that I am always here to support her in a positive way. (rehab) I see her every time I am in the city. We do lunch and I usually buy some groceries for her, never cash money. It is heart breaking but I always have HOPE that she will want help. Life sometimes sucks. I have to stay positive and live my life the right way and try to do the best for myself. I have control only of my life and the way that I react to other’s actions.

[lizbeth4]

I am going home this evening after my Daughter gets home from work. My Grandson stayed home again from school. He is feeling much better. He is resting on the couch. My sore throat hasn’t become worse. My Daughter and I are both taking air borne. This morning my Daughter gave me the most beautiful handwritten card. She expressed how much I mean to her and how thankful she was of everything that I do for her and my Grandson. It was awesome!!! I am thinking about the weekend. My Sister and Mom will go to the casino and of course invite me. I will be tested again. I can already feel some gambling urges stirring inside of me. I need to be strong and say no. Gambling will only destroy how far I have come in my journey and I don’t want to travel that road again!!! So, right now I am praying and pulling from my inner strength. I know the consequences and how I will loathe myself if I give in. I know that I am stronger than the urges.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie. I’m glad that the meeting went well. You did it. You faced your demons. Keep going strong. Things will only get better!! Take care. Hope your day was awesome.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post. I need to get myself back to the gym when I get home! I am still in the city. My Grandson, Daughter and her boyfriend are all sick with a cold. I took my Grandson to the Doctor today as his ear was hurting and my Daughter can’t miss work, new job. He has a ear infection. He is on a antibiotic. He had soup for lunch and is taking a nap now. I have a slight sore throat. I am staying till tomorrow, so I can stay home with him if needed. I did go shopping yesterday and bought a pair of jeans, blouse and 2 new pairs of shoes. The Chinese restaurant wasn’t good. I will try another one next time I am here. My Sister is coming for the weekend. I will be glad to get home, although I do miss my Grandson and Daughter’s when I leave. No gambling urges. I am grateful for that.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie. I am sorry that you are going through a rough time. We are all one step from gambling. You have the tools and know what to do to stop! It’s hard when we are going through difficult times and things feel like they are out of our control. I know that I usually have urges under those circumstances. Stay strong! Don’t give up! Things usually get better in time. I understand the frustration in not being able to help Jen. As Mothers we want the best for our children and it doesn’t stop when they are adults. You can only do what you can do. She will come around and talk to you about her problems. The Mother/Daughter relationship is a hard one. I feel like it is a relationship that I am always working on and trying to improve. Remember that you have many friends here and a lot of support. As Vera said, there is always hope!!! I have gotten through a lot of my issues by handing it over to God. Take care of yourself and your health. You need to put yourself first right now. Keep posting!

[lizbeth4]

My Grandson wasn’t feeling well (allergies) so he stayed home today. He’s feeling much better now! Nothing new here. I’m keeping busy doing things around here. Tomorrow I am going to do a little shopping for myself. I could use a new pair of jeans and I have a bigger selection here. There is a Chinese restaurant near here that I am going to try out for lunch. We have only one Chinese restaurant in my town and it is awful. I haven’t had any gambling urges. I am keeping busy. Thursday I will be going home.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post! I am in the city for a week. My Daughter’s friends can’t start picking my Grandson up from karate (after school) until week after next. So I am here helping out. I have decided not to go on the kayak trip this weekend. My back is still sore. I will swim everyday for exercise and to keep cool. I had lunch and did some shopping with my youngest Daughter. No gambling thoughts!! Enjoying life!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Charles for your post!! Oh, I forgot to say that I did make it to church on Sunday. I really liked the people and the sermon. I will be going back. My back is a lot better. I am going to leave for the city tomorrow and stay for a week. I had a busy day cleaning, ect.. I hadn’t done much as my back was bothering me. My Sister called yesterday and was real upset as our Mother had put her on a guilt trip as she is spending the weekend with her boyfriend and my Mom wanted her to come here. Her boyfriend lives in a town about 40 miles north of me. He is retired and a lot older than my Sister. I was a little upset with my Mother but didn’t say anything to her today. My Sister is 52 years old and has to work out in the heat daily. It is now 107-112 degrees in the city. I told my Sister that she didn’t have anything to feel guilty about. She was here for a week after our Mother’s surgery and she brought her Granddaughter and came for a day visit about 6 weeks ago. I told her to visit her boyfriend and get out of the heat!!! I spent the afternoon with my Mother as I will be gone for 1 week. I never heard one positive comment come from her mouth. She talked and judged everyone including my Sister. I know that she talks about me that way to my Sister also. I felt sorry for her as she is never happy. A sad way to live!!! I haven’t had any gambling thoughts but this afternoon with her could have sent me there. LOL!!!

[lizbeth4]

I didn’t gamble! I kept busy all weekend and squashed the gambling urges. Somehow, I managed to pull some lower back muscles. I am using a heating pad, muscle rub and Tylenol to ease the pain. I can hopefully get it back in shape for the weekend kayaking trip. I hope everyone had a great weekend. Have a awesome gamble free day!

[lizbeth4]

Thank you for your post Trinity. There is life after gambling!

[lizbeth4]

Today was a very trying day. The gambling monster was trying it’s best to reel me in! Honestly, there were times that I almost gave in. But I didn’t! I had to dig deep inside myself to not give in. I started off the day finding out that $1000 was debited from my checking account by a company (bill) that I had cancelled auto pay with over a week ago. Customer service never could tell me why this happened and I was assured that my auto pay account was now cancelled. I can expect my money credited back in 7 to 10 business days. Aggravating!!!!! Then I had a nail appointment. I am very fond of the gal that does my nails. We talk about our families, etc. She is going though a nasty divorce and has 3 children. She needed to talk and release her emotions. I listen and was supportive. I just felt so stressed out on the way home. It took all my will power to not drive to the casino. I prayed about everything when I returned home. It helped immensely. I have my outfit picked out for church on Sunday. There is something spiritually missing from my life. I need to expand my horizons and seek out things and experiences to make my life more fulfilling.

[lizbeth4]

Today I realized that I am making strides in other areas of my life. Things and situations that would stress me out and lead me to gambling I am handling differently. While I was at my Mom’s house my oldest Daughter text me concerning something negative that her ex did and it concerned her son. I replied to her and gave her my support. She just wanted to rant and get it off of her chest. I explained to my Mom what was going on. She said that my Daughter shouldn’t cower to him that she should have put him in his place, via a argument. I told her that arguing and screaming at one another is no way to deal with a disagreement, it isn’t healthy. That my Daughter was right in not escalating the situation and walking away. She would have just been feeding into his anger. I then realized that my Mom deals with issues in a combative way. She thinks that if she screams loud enough and argues that she wins and has control. She must think that I am very weak as I walk away from her a lot when she is mean and angry. I think that it is a sign of strength. It would be easier to get caught up in the anger. She doesn’t get it!!!! Also, my Daughter is a strong woman and I am proud of her for dealing with issues in a healthy manner. I am learning.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve been home since Monday. It is good to be home! My Mom is well and was nice the first day back. LOL! What can you do? I’m back at the gym, 7am, Mon thru Friday. Did some grocery shopping and going to do some yard work, pull weeds. Last night we had a big storm. No need to water plants for a few days. Going kayaking in 10 days with my Daughter, Grandson, her boyfriend and a small group of their friends. I’ve never tried this before. Excited! He has his own non profit outdoor adventure company. I’m going to be doing day hikes, etc as the weather here gets cooler. No gambling urges for me. I am going to be busy!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post! I woke this morning and the gambling urges are gone. My Grandson had a friend over for a sleep over I got them all set up with snacks, movies and games and I watched movies in my Daughter’s bedroom. We slept in. I am feeling better emotionally. My Daughter will be home sometime this evening. I am going to pack up my things. Tomorrow is a big day! My Grandson’s first day of school and my Daughter’s first day at her new job I was worried about finances as I may need to help my Daughter till she gets a full paycheck. I figured it all out in my head. It will be tight but I can manage 2 households for a month or 2. I could kick myself for being careless with my credit cards but I can’t go backwards only forwards. I have learned a lesson. Today I won’t gamble!

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