[lizbeth4]

I didn’t get much painting done this morning. My body is tired from all I did yesterday. Tomorrow is another day! I was thinking of how much better my life is without gambling and the changes that I am making within myself. I know that my Mom is unable to have healthy relationships. I can accept that but not the meanness and rage. When I started getting healthy and worked on myself and my addiction my relationships with others changed. Some for the better, some for the worse. My ex son in law tried to pull something shady with my Daughter concerning my Grandson. I was in the city at the time and saw the texts. He did it out of jealousy because my Daughter has a new ma n in her life. In the process he hurt my Grandson. Now he and my Daughter and Grandson are going to counselling again at her insistent. In the process our relationship changed as did my relationship with his Mom, as she was involved. I will always love him and be nice to him but it will never be the same. He isn’t the person that I thought he was. It is sad! Today I am going to a HOA meeting. A chance to meet new people and one of the topics is the lake and gazebo area across the street from my home. It’s good to be informed. Maybe I can get a nap in before the meeting.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your post! Can I send my Mom out to live with your Mom? They would get along great! As long as I don’t end up like her. And I won’t!!! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Charles and Bettie for your posts! I spent the day painting the inside of the backyard fence. It started getting windy so I stopped. I cleaned all the windows, inside and out. I also cleaned my house. I am going to continue on the fence tomorrow. I called my Mom and told her that I wasn’t going to the gym tomorrow as I have my painting project. She hung up on me. A few days away from her will be good. Charles, I am continuously working on myself. I want to be the best I can be. Bettie, our Mothers should move in together. They can feed off of each other. I don’t care what my Mom thinks about me. The lack of boundaries on her part and the lack of any respect towards me is what bothers me! I just need to remove myself from those situations. I won’t get any cooperation from her. The ball is in my court!

[lizbeth4]

PS. I am very grateful for my relationships with my Daughters I took a real look at myself when my Husband was dying. I consciously worked on my flaws that I felt were hurting my relationships with my Daughters. When I changed, they changed. Our relationships haven’t been better. We now have healthy, real relationships. But it does take work. I am blessed!

[lizbeth4]

My Mom is 78 years old. She has been miserable and depressed all of her life. It is getting worse with age. She would never get help as she thinks she doesn’t have a problem. Everyone else has the problem. She called 10 minutes before I pick her up for the gym saying she wasn’t going and hung up on me while I was talking. Who does that? I guess living close to her, I see how she is. My Sister, Daughter and Cousins have told me for years how miserable and mean she was but I couldn’t see if or didn’t want to The sad thing is that my Mom can’t see her bad behavior or doesn’t care. At this point many family members don’t talk to her and she has no friends. My Sister talks to my Mom once a week and her Grandchildren never call her. She doesn’t get it. She is the one that is losing!

[lizbeth4]

I came too close to gambling today! My Mom and I went to the gym and she put the keys to the lock in the locker. No big deal. I asked the woman in the office for a bolt cutter. We cut the lock off but the locker was jammed. We had to wait for the maintenance man to arrive as he had more tools. So I worked out till he arrived and was able to get it opened. While this was going on my Mom freaked out. She screamed and belittled me in front of everyone. She didn’t like the way I was looking at her. She told me that I make plenty of mistakes, etc. I asked her to stop but that only fueled her rage. I couldn’t get away from her. She made a fool of herself and made everyone feel uncomfortable. I dropped her off at her home. I came home and decided to go to the casino. I was getting ready when my oldest Daughter text me saying she loved me. Within 5 minutes my youngest Daughter text me the same thing. Coincidence? No, I believe that it was a sign for me to remember what is important in my life. It stopped me from gambling!!! I am at my wits end with my Mom. She makes me miserable. It isn’t fun doing anything with her. I can’t win. I bought fresh salmon and made a great dinner and took it to her yesterday. She is so unappreciative that I don’t want to do anything for her. No one wants to be around her. There is no talking to her about this as she never takes any responsibility for her actions. How can someone be so miserable? I can’t let her take me down.

[lizbeth4]

I haven’t had any gambling urges. I am able to be present for my family and myself. My Grandson had 2 friends over for a sleep over last night. My Daughter spent the night with her best friend. It is nice to be here and be helpful and to enjoy my children and my Grandson. Going home Monday morning. Tomorrow my Daughter has a work function to attend, adults only. I think my Grandson and I will go to the arcade. I have a small list of things to do around my home before the end of the month to prepare for the winter and cooler weather. Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

[lizbeth4]

I am in the city. I had lunch with my youngest Daughter. I am at my oldest Daughter’s home. Going to pick up my Grandson from after school karate camp. This last weekend was fun visiting with my cousin. In fact we looked at a few homes for sale in my area. She is seriously thinking about moving here. It would be nice. I have decided to work on some of my flaws. I have a habit of turning inward and not being open and friendly with people. I don’t take the time and effort to go there. This morning on my way out of town, I had to stop by the tire shop because I had a nail in one of my front tires. I started a conversation with a elderly man and then with a woman who was waiting for new tires to be put on her car. She started talking about her son and his health issues. When she left she thanked me for listening and said that she felt better. I even struck up a small conversation with a woman at the grocery store. I’m going to keep working on it.

[lizbeth4]

I didn’t get too far on painting the inside of the fence I kind of whimped out! LOL!!! I called the handyman (he painted the outside of the fence) and he is going to paint the rest of the fence. My cousin is here visiting. We spent a great day together. My Mom participated a little but went home early. Going to the gym the next 2 days then to the city for a couple days to help with my Grandson. I haven’t had any gambling urges lately.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat for your post. I am having sleeping issues again. I hate to start taking sleeping pills again. I’m having some hot tea, maybe that will relax me. I just heard the coyotes. Last night I heard elk. It’s getting cooler here, so I will see more deer and elk. I love this time of year. I will be getting my sweaters and boots out soon. Well, going to try to sleep again. Getting up early to paint.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat for your supportive post on my thread. I’m sorry that you are feeling down. I caused a lot of damage when I gambled. I wish I had the jewelry back that I sold to gamble. It still makes me sad! It took awhile to dig myself out of debt but you will do it. It can feel overwhelming at times but remember you will get out of debt because you are not gambling. I found that even when I am gamble free that my brain still plays games with me. I know that gambling is never the answer to any of my problems and I know the consequences but it is always lurking around. I have started meditating for 15 minutes every morning before I start my day. It helps to calm and ground me. Take care of yourself.

[lizbeth4]

All is good! I haven’t gambled! I’ve been busy. I went to the gym all week. I bought a 5 shelf unit for my storage room. I put it together and organized everything. I plan on painting the inside of my fence tomorrow. I think it may be a 3-4 day job. My Mom was very difficult today after the gym. I didn’t bother going into her house afterwards and went home and was productive. I am learning to deal with her outbursts and rudeness. I know I can’t be around it. LOL! I hope everyone has a great weekend.

[lizbeth4]

I got through the weekend without gambling. We had fun yesterday. We had breakfast out and went to some antique stores. I didn’t buy anything. I spent the night at my Mom’s. We had dinner and played games and watched a movie. It was a good weekend. Tomorrow I go back to the gym. I have made a list of small projects (outside) that I need to do this next month before it starts to get cold here. Keeping busy=no gambling!!!

[lizbeth4]

Dinner and game night at my Mom’s was fun. My Sister asked what was on the agenda for tomorrow. That means she doesn’t have money for the casino. I suggested breakfast and antique stores (browsing) My Mom was giving me her look the whole time. She probably wanted me to give her money so they could go to the casino. I will not!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie. Glad that things are looking up! I know from experience that if I sit on something for awhile I can look at it differently. Sleep well!

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