[lizbeth4]

PS I cut up all of my credit cards but 1 Visa (for emergencies). I feel good about it!!! I sat down and paid all the bills for the month (early). I paid a little extra on all the credit cards. Although there isn’t a lot left in my checking, I will get by. All I may need is some food and gas for my car. I have been living above my monthly means and charging anything that I didn’t have cash for. The card balances added up fast and with it my credit score has taken a dive!! It isn’t a hopeless situation. I can get through this and I have learned another valuable lesson. Always learning!!!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Bettie! You are not a fool! You are looking for something with your friend that he can’t give to you. Just like I hope for a healthy relationship with my Mother. She is never going to give me that. We can both keep trying and spinning our wheels or we can decided that we are enough and put ourselves and feelings first. This is something that I am working very hard to do. Forgive yourself for gambling and move forward. I have to forgive myself for replacing shopping for the gambling, one complusion for another. Sometimes it takes us awhile to get it together. Love yourself. You are worth it!!! Sometimes we make it easy for others to take us for granted as we let them. Be kind to yourself first!!!! If he makes you want to gamble, he is not for you. We are people pleasers. We need to make ourselves happy first!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Brave for your post! I think that I need to work on my patience as my Mom can be very trying at times. I have to keep reminding myself that she will never be want I need and somehow I need to let it go!! I am paying bills today and feel like a dummy. Money is going to be tight as I want to stick to the budget. No more using the credit cards. I had just gotten myself out of debt a few years ago and now here I am again. I substituted one addiction for another. It’s going to be okay. I just have to keep on the path. Staying positive.

[lizbeth4]

Hi, Sorry that you are under so much stress and worry. I hope this will be over for you soon so you can move forward. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve been doing well in going to the gym Monday thru Friday. Today I took my Mom grocery shopping as I needed to go also. She tried to talk me into going to the casino as the gym that we go to is owned by the Indian tribe and on the same street. I refused and told her that she could go by herself. She told me that my Sister was coming to visit in a few weeks and would like to go to the casino. I told her that they could go without me. I don’t know why she doesn’t get it! My back and neck have been hurting, nothing major. It is from me painting the fence, ect. I mentioned it today to her and she snapped that I wasn’t the only one with pains. I feel so distant with her. There is no closeness. I go out of ny way to do things for her and she could care less about me or my feelings. I feel closer to my 95 year old neighbor. I do little things for her and visit with her. She is sweet and appreciative. It’s not going to change with my Mom so I might as well get used to it. It is hard! I was proud of myself for refusing the casino. I kept thinking about the credit card debt and the taxes are due on my home and a piece of land that I owe. I made a budget and intend to stick to it. I can be out of debt in 1 year. That’s my goal. I know I can do it!

[lizbeth4]

Yesterday I wrote on P’ s thread about letting go of the guilt associated with gambling. This morning I faced the guilt associated with my past gambling and the effects on my Daughter’s. Although my oldest Daughter is doing great and has been drug free for some time, my youngest Daughter still suffers with addiction. I know that my gambling addiction did attribute to me not being present for her. I have apologized to both of them and I have tried to change and be there for them. I turn my feelings of guilt over to God. I tell my children and Grandson that I love them everyday. I am now present for them. I will keep praying for my Daughter. Gambling takes so much away from you and your family. Keep fighting this disease.

[lizbeth4]

Awesome plan Charles! I know that you can do it!

[lizbeth4]

I’ve been keeping busy! I made it to the gym 5 mornings this week. (my Mom also) I plan to start walking every evening as the weather here is wonderful. I am wearing a compression stocking on my left leg per the cardiologist orders. I have a bad varicose vein. I can’t get it removed without wearing the stocking for 6 months (per insurance). I will go through the formalities as I need to get it taken care of. Maybe losing a few pounds and exercising will help! Just finished cleaning the living room and hallway carpets. Finishing the last of my list of things to do before winter comes. I am going to attend a different church this Sunday until I find one that feels right. I find that feeding my spirituality side does help me in my normal life and especially in dealing with my Mother. There is a new yoga class starting next month that I may explore. I am feeling better about myself and the person that I am becoming. Always something new to learn.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks FG for your post! I believe there is always a lesson to be learned from the good and the bad that happens to you. I do think that my troubled relationship with my Mother does make me try harder to be a good Mother to my Daughters. I keep working on my flaws. My Mom and I went to the gym early this morning. She has a follow up appointment with the cardiologist this afternoon. I will take her as I want to know what the doctor says. She seems to get things mixed up and only hears what she wants to hear. Also, she is driving less as I usually take her everywhere. I think this is a good thing. Nothing else going on here. We are expecting a heavy thunderstorm this evening!

[lizbeth4]

I made contact with my Mom today. The nice Mom was present today. I have been praying a lot about the situation with my Mom. I will continue to pray and accept her but keep my boundaries in place. She is my only parent and I know that she will be gone one of these days. I don’t want to have any regrets.

[lizbeth4]

I made contact with my Mom today. The nice Mom was present today. I have been praying a lot about the situation with my Mom. I will continue to pray and accept her but keep my boundaries in place. She is my only parent and I know that she will be gone one of these days. I don’t want to have any regrets.

[lizbeth4]

FG, I hope the hypnosis works for you. It is good that you are trying different things to help you. Take care!

[lizbeth4]

You are doing great in your recovery. Keep doing what you are doing. Your life will get better without gambling.

[lizbeth4]

You are doing awesome! Keep going!!

[lizbeth4]

Good for you attending the GA meeting. People are strange. Sorry that you didn’t feel any support. Are there any other GA meetings you could attend with different people? I had to find another meeting as the first place I went to (a church) the people were rude and standoffish. Be proud of yourself for going! Hang in there. You have access to the groups here and you have our support. Take care.

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