[lizbeth4]

Kpat, I feel your pain. You are a good parent. Let it go. I am glad your Daughter didn’t win. Don’t you feel free getting that off of your shoulders? We all make mistakes. I can’t find P’ s thread either. Kin made a new one for her and I posted on it. Again kpat, forgive yourself.

[lizbeth4]

My Daughter text me today that her boyfriend has decided not to buy my Polaris. They are going to save their money to do some home improvements. They are not living together yet and he just signed another years lease on his apartment. They are taking it slow. I placed a ad in our local paper (we only have 2 per week, not daily) for 2 weeks. I missed the cut off so my ad won’t start till next Tuesday. It’s all good. Keeping my fingers crossed. Nothing new. Went to the gym and spent a little time with my Mom. Home now. We are expecting more rain. I am watching the geese across the street in the gazebo area. They are facinating creatures.

[lizbeth4]

Hi P! Thinking of you today. Post when you are ready. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi kpat. Thanks for your post. None of us are cured. We get the urges and if we have enough barriers in place and support we can ride it out. I think it is a ongoing process. But after a while the urges lessen and the gambling ceases. I think that you could have tons of money and be unhappy. Look at all of these stars and paid athletes. They have so many addictions. I think we have forgotten the things that are important: family and friendships. Kpat, I think it is the little things in life that bring happiness I think that you are doing amazingly well in your recovery journey. It’s hard! You must have good kids. They want to spend time with you and treat you respectfully. That says a lot about you as a parent. My best accomplishments are my children and my Grandson, who my Husband and I raised the first 3 years of his life. They are my joy. I think you are doing great. Keep going. PS. credit isn’t all that it cracked up to be. I think that paying in cash is probably better for us.

[lizbeth4]

Kpat, thanks for your post! How are you? Sometimes I feel like I’m rambling and I wonder if anyone gets me. I am glad that you do. I stayed home most of the day. I didn’t get anything accomplished. Maybe I just needed to vegg. My Daughter’s boyfriend hasn’t definitely bought my Polaris. He is trying to figure out his money. Either you can afford it or not! Here I go again being impatient. I text my Daughter saying that I would like a answer by this weekend so I can know if I need to proceed with putting a ad in the newspaper. Whatever is meant to be will happen. I am getting antsy because the money will help my debt situation a lot. Going to bed. Getting up early for the gym. Good night!

[lizbeth4]

The gym was closed today for a tribal meeting. I spent the morning in my pajamas and watched TV. I finally took a shower and went into town to deposit a check (Daughter paying me back for furniture that I bought for her) I have decided that I need to stop loaning out money and buying things on credit for others because they can’t get credit. I am collecting payments from 3 people. It seems like I don’t save it as it comes to me in little increments. Live and learn. I am not a bank anymore. I need to put myself first and that includes my finances. Funny though, I thought of gambling today. My addicted mind playing games with me. Yesterday my Daughter asked if my Grandson could spend a weekend with me soon. That made me happy. My family grounds me and helps me with the urges. I didn’t contact my Mom today. It’s good to have some space between us.

[lizbeth4]

PS. Sometimes it is scary as I am responsible for myself and my finances. I no longer have my Husband to lean on. At this point in my life (57) I guess it is time to put my big girl panties on and deal with it!

[lizbeth4]

What a difference a day makes! We went to the gym this morning My Mom was argumentative but I just blew it off. She tried everything to get me to argue with her once we got to her house. I didn’t buy into it and I didn’t stay long. I was proud of myself. She drains my energy and yesterday, I was feeling emotionally and physically down. It is raining here. A good day to curl up on the couch and read a book. Maybe take a nap. I think that my oldest Daughter’s boyfriend is going to buy my off road vehicle. If so, I am going to pay off the 2 credit cards with the highest balances and bank the rest. I will be able to double up on the payments on the other 4 cards and save a little from my monthly income. It is all coming together. I need to learn patience and not to stress so much.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Caroline. I am a CG. I don’t usually post here but I felt compelled to. I have been gamble free for some years now. Your Husband has to want to stop gambling and he needs to get help, GA meetings, counseling. I think you should tell your in laws that he is still gambling. No money= no gambling. He will continue his behavior until he is serious about stopping. I put my family through a lot. I am now present for them and I love all the time I spend with them. I know it must be a awful place that you are in. He will continue to manipulate his family for money. He will continue to start fights with you. He is in denial and doesn’t want to stop gambling. Take care of yourself and your children. You have to put yourself first.

[lizbeth4]

That’s awesome-no gambling! GA meetings really helped me. Try one and see how it goes. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera. I haven’t gambled. I have my PJS on and am watching TV No gambling. I usually go to movies alone as my Mom doesn’t want to go. I think I am better off staying home alone. I will see her in the morning for gym time. She is getting too exhausting for me. I may need to lessen my time with her. It looks like that’s where I’m headed.

[lizbeth4]

I went to church this morning. It was good! Afterwards I picked up lunch for my Mom and myself. What a disaster. I was laughing about something and she told me that I was crazy. I told her to be nice or to not say anything to me. Awkward!!! Later, she told me that she was kidding with me, with a smirk on her face, she wasn’t. I guess when you’re feeling happy something is wrong with you. She is so miserable, she doesn’t know how to be happy. When I left she said leaving already? Really? I let her get to me and she knew it and enjoyed it. I was feeling down anyways. I’m just feeling lonely today. I could gamble but won’t.

[lizbeth4]

Well done on not gambling! Keep going. Even though it will be tough at times you will get through this. Keep posting. Maybe the support groups here would be of help. None of us thought that we would end up having gambling addictions. It all started out as fun.

[lizbeth4]

I am feeling very overwhelmed today! I think it is from my lack of cash flow. Between home warranties and taxes due, I feel stretched to the limits. Then I look at my credit cards balances and I get stressed. I have come to another conclusion, I am going to sell my off road vehicle. I hardly use it and I am paying a lot for the insurance on it. I think it is a good choice. I could pay the cards down a little and put the rest into savings. I was up early this morning and straightened the house and I washed the car. I am planning on going to church tomorrow. I need to feed my spiritual self as I am feeling very low.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Normy. I am glad that you found this site. You have made the first step. PLEASE talk to someone via the helpline. Put every barrier in place: limit your access to cards and money, counciling, GA, anything that may help you. Life is too short to worry about gambling! Take care. Keep posting.

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