[lizbeth4]

So I did get a nasty text from my Sister as she thinks that I have put her in the middle of my Mom’s and my disagreement. She is feeling this way after talking to my Mom this morning. I apologized again and told her that it wasn’t my intent. I have no clue as to what my Mom said to her. I am sure it wasn’t what I had really said. She said Mom’s feelings were hurt. I told her that I was tired and hurt from her verbal abuse. She replied that she understood. Honestly I feel like a little piece of my soul was ripped out. I also feel ganged up on. I have decided that my Mom and I need a break from each other. There is no respect for each other and if we don’t take a break mean, nasty words are going to be spoken. I am leaving for the city on Friday morning. I am going to keep my distance from her this week. If she happens to contact me, I will be cordial on the phone but I don’t want to see her. It is rainy here. I am hoping that the plumbers can dig the trench and lay the new pipes before I leave. I could have done a lot of damage today gambling. Instead, I stayed home and did some cleaning. I bought more water. I heated it up and washed my hair and washed up. It is strange not having running water. It’s the little things that I take for granted.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post. I did want to gamble but didn’t! I am going to try to stay home and not a hotel. I can buy more water if needed so I can flush the toilets and I can heat up water to clean the dishes and wash up. It’s only for a few days. I feel comfortable here. As for my Mom, I read a few articles on the internet concerning toxic relationships. I may have to put more limits on the time I spend with her. I think my Sister is now mad that I mentioned the argument between she and our Mom. I text her about what had happened as she calls my Mom every Sunday. She never responded back to me. It is what it is! I do believe that my Husband is watching over me. Life is what you make it. I have let my family dysfunctions stunt my abilities to live a happy and full life. I have let others cause me to have insecurities and in turn my self esteem has suffered. It is time to work on this so I can move forward. I deserve to be happy.

[lizbeth4]

Well, staying with my Mom didn’t last long. She went off on me this morning and then tried to say that she was kidding. I wasn’t going over there until the evenings and leaving in the mornings so I wasn’t there long. I was bringing us both dinner so I wouldn’t inconvenience her. I asked her why she gets mad at everyone. That she did that to my Sister while she was here. She said that never happened and everything was my fault. I went to the store and bought gallons of water. If it gets to be too much, I will go to a hotel. While I was trying to get to the end of my thread, I landed on my post of 3-12-13, the day my Husband died. It made me real sad. I guess I am having a pity party for myself.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Sad for your post. I had a terrible nightmare last night and called my Daughter via her boyfriend as her phone is broken. I just had to hear her voice. She was alright. I’ve been thinking and I’m going to the city one day earlier and get a hotel room for a night. That way I can spend time with my youngest Daughter. Just she and I. All the utility lines were painted on my front and side yards. It looks like they will have to hand dig and won’t be able to use a bobcat to dig. So it will cost $3000. Hopefully it won’t be raining Monday and Tuesday. It rained hard today and we are expecting rain all weekend. At least the ground will be soft.

[lizbeth4]

My main water line is leaking which runs under my (long) driveway. So to avoid tearing up the driveway they are going to divert the line. $2000-3000. It depends if they have to hand dig the length of my home or can use a bobcat. The utility company will be out tomorrow to paint lines of where the existing utility lines are. I am bummed but grateful that I have the money.

[lizbeth4]

Omg, Laura it was awesome to see your post on my thread! It is hard to set new boundaries in old relationships. I will keep working on it. Waiting for the plumber. Keeping my fingers crossed that it isn’t too bad.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat for your post! I do not give up hope that my Daughter will seek help for her addiction. Even though it is a hard situation, I pray a lot about it and I am glad that my faith has helped me deal with what she is going through. I will keep going to support groups (here it was Alanon but now they have opened support groups through Narcotics anonymous). There is a big heroin epidemic here. Very sad! My Daughter never called or text me back. She is upset with me because I asked to leave my home. When I am in the city again in a week, I will have another talk with her and impress to her what her addiction is doing to me and how I am going to deal with it. I tell her everyday how much I love her and when I see her I hug her and don’t want to let go. But I have to protect myself too and sometimes I have to do things to accomplish that, things she doesn’t like. I woke this morning with a water leak coming from my front turn off for the water. It was running down the street gutter to the end of the street. (about 1/2 block) I called the city but they came out and said it is on my property. I had some work done in that same area in June by a local plumber and I wonder if one of the pipes he replaced is leaking. The owner of the company is coming out tomorrow morning. I turned off the water. Always something. I will have to spend the night with my Mom so I can shower in the morning, ect. My Sister and Mom had a arguement the first day she was here. She told me about it. I didn’t say anything to my Mom about it. My Mom was bad mouthing my Sister today, real insignificant stuff. I stopped her. I told her that I didn’t want to hear it. She did stop! I don’t want her to alienate my Sister as we do have fun when she comes up and she and I are rebuilding our relationship. Sorry for the long post. I just had a lot to say. Have a great gamble free day everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your post Vera! My Mom and I are the only family members who talk to my Daughter. The other’s don’t want to be around the drama. I totally understand. I have seeked out help for myself and have been going to support groups for years. My Daughter refuses any help. She has to be ready and open to accept help for her addiction. It has been going on for years and it doesn’t get any easier. I see her on my terms when I go to the city. She has been told not to just show up at my house unannounced. It doesn’t get any easier with time. As I get older it is getting harder to deal with. I don’t give her money. I usually take her to lunch when I see her and I bring her fresh fruit that I buy on the way to the city. It is a strained relationship. She and her boyfriend have been living in a friend’s garage for over 1 year. Very sad. I have been waiting for her to hit her bottom but it hasn’t happened. She did make it back home. I know that her future is dim, incarceration or death. She can’t go on like this.

[lizbeth4]

I will pray for them. This puts things into perspective.

[lizbeth4]

My youngest Daughter and her friend showed up at my house this afternoon. Obviously both were high on drugs. The friend knows people here. I have asked my Daughter repeatedly not to just show up here. It was nothing but drama for several hours. I asked them to leave. I love my Daughter but not her lifestyle. I just can’t deal with the behavior. Now here I am sitting and worrying about her. This is tough.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Sad for your post. The Polaris was cool but a expensive toy. The insurance was costly. The sell of it will help eliminate some debt and put a cushion in my savings. That feels good. I am happy that my posts sends hope. That’s awesome! My Sister is leaving this morning. We have had a great time together. We have come a long way. She and my Mom had a big argument the first day she was here. I wasn’t there. She told my Mom that she would leave if she didn’t stop. My Mom backed down. My Sister will stop talking to you for years if she gets mad. Not the most mature way but that’s how she copes. Anyways, the weekend was fun.

[lizbeth4]

Today was good. I had breakfast with my Mom and Sister. We went to a few yard sales. I found some old linens and embroidery pieces. I am going to make a curtain for my bathroom window. I also bought a Pyrex pie pan. The guys came and picked up the Polaris. It’s gone! I am going to hang out with my Sister tomorrow. Still have a cold but it’s not too bad.

[lizbeth4]

Kpat, I am glad that your Daughter didn’t like the casino. She sounds like a smart and wise young woman. It is good that you and she could have that conversation and that you were so honest with her regarding your gambling. It took me a long time to be honest with my family. My 9 year old Grandson asked me what a casino was. I told him it was like playing video games (he could relate) but for adults and that you have to feed the machine money and that you don’t win often. He said that was stupid! They are pretty smart!
.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera and Kpat for your posts. I do live in a rural area. I haven’t used it much so I decided to sell it. Most of the proceeds will go in my savings. I am going to pay off one credit card, the one with the highest balance. This will free up money for me to pay more on the cards every month. I have a few repairs to make on my house, replace a cracked window, have the 2 trees in my front yard trimmed and have the gutters cleaned and one fixed or replaced (bent) Vera, Thanksgiving is towards the last part of November here. I am going to the city in 2 weeks to spend the weekend with my Grandson and he will be spending the 2nd weekend in November at my home. Kpat, I hope I find some good things tomorrow at the yard sells. I have bought 2 old quilts (1920’s), a antique couch, and old shelves at estate and yard sales since I moved here, 2 years ago. I like having plans!

[lizbeth4]

I have a cold! No gym today. I am resting as my Sister is coming for the weekend. We are going to yard sales tomorrow. I sold the Polaris to my Daughter’s boyfriend’s friend. They are coming up tomorrow afternoon to pick it up!! Yeah! It all worked out!!! I am happy that I will have more in my savings. I haven’t had any gambling urges. Staying busy! I am going to church on Sundays and I’ve been looking into volunteering. I just don’t want to be locked into a full time position. Life is good!

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