[lizbeth4]

I lounged around this morning. I did finally get it together and made it to the mall. I bought 2 sweaters, 70 percent off. Good buy. I had lunch at a small Mexican restaurant. Brought home half of if for dinner. My Daughter’s boyfriend and his roommate came over to start the raised garden beds. We hung out for awhile. I’m going to watch some TV. I haven’t had any gambling urges. It is warm here. I am enjoying sitting on the patio and reading. Life is good!

[lizbeth4]

FG, You are so lucky to have such a supportive Husband. He obviously loves you very much. I didn’t realize how much my Husband really loved me until it was too late. I regret that I gambled so much and didn’t put that time into my marriage. Time does go by faster when we fill our days with purposeful things not gambling. I hope you are having a wonderful day!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera and FG for your posts! I took my Grandson to school and picked up some bagels and cream cheese and went to my friend’s house. We visited for 3 hours. It was great I stopped by the craft store and bought burlap ribbon and various Christmas ribbon (reds and golds) I am making large bows to decorate my Xmas tree. I am also going to use pinecones for tree decorations. It will be interesting. Anyways, I am going to the mall tomorrow and do some window shopping. Sunday I am visiting with another friend. This is strange but I haven’t had a problem with gambling in the city since my move to a rural area. I am going to relax and read and watch tv the rest of the day.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Charles for your post! I think my higher power is always in action, sometimes I just don’t listen. I am in the city. I stopped and had my car cleaned. Looks very nice. I had contact with my local bank twice today and the online banking issue is resolved. I will only have a little time with my Grandson as he is going to his Dad’s this weekend. I will see him again on Sunday evening. I’m going to be selfish and make this weekend about what I want to do. Seeing friends tomorrow and Sunday. Saturday I am going to a big craft store here to get some ideas on what I would like to try. I have been thinking a lot about why I gambled. I feel like I am missing something spiritually within myself. I need to keep searching till I find it. That’s the.only way that I will be whole.

[lizbeth4]

I STRUGGLED today with gambling urges! I didn’t act on them. I am doing some laundry and getting my stuff together for my trip to the city for 4 days. I spent 1 hour and 50 mins at the bank this morning as they had updated and changed computer programs during the weekend and on Monday. My accounts were no longer linked to my ATM card. It took awhile to fix. Now I have encountered another problem online, some of my accounts are not showing up. Since I made changes today, I am hoping they are there when I log in tomorrow morning. If not, I will have to visit the bank again before I leave town. Frustrating! They were real nice at the bank and I realize that it isn’t their fault and that they are now having to correct things and if they don’t know they have to call someone. I wasn’t the only one with a problem. The bank was full of people!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your post FG!!! I can keep busy also. I’m not a crafty person but I’ve never really tried. I might find my niche. I am going to the city on Thursday and coming home on Monday. My Daughter is going out of town. I am going to see 2 dear friends while I am there. One friend I haven’t seen for 5 years. We have kept contact through phone calls. We worked together 29 years ago. I can’t wait to see her. The other friend lives at the condos where my Husband and I lived. I have known her for 20 years. She was very supportive of my Husband and I when he was sick. She and I became close after he died. So I have plans in place and intend on being busy while I am there. I haven’t had any gambling urges today but I don’t want to be complacent.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your post FG!!! I felt comfortable coming here after gambling because I do have support here and I don’t feel judged. I haven’t forgiven myself yet but I am thinking of ways to remain gamble free. Boredom=gambling for me! I have a 3rd bedroom that I am going to use for my craft room. I haven’t tried my hand at crafts but I may be going at it! LOL!!! The winter may be hard for me because there isn’t much to do in a rural area. I am going to keep a eye on what’s happening in the newspaper, activities to go to. It has been lightly snowing all day. I took my Mom to her cardiologist appointment and we went for Mexican food. Yummy! I am at home all snuggly and warm. Tomorrow is a new day!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post. Sorry to hear that your Son’s and GF visit didn’t go well. Glad to hear that your Husband took them home and that you didn’t gamble. The money I gambled could have been used for many things. It should be sitting in my savings account. It could have been worse. There is no one to tell in my family. Either they are CG’s or have other issues. That is why I came here and spilled my guts. I kept busy today constructing a picture blanket online for my Grandson for Christmas. It will be delivered in a week. I put together 2 collage picture frames and I will hang them tomorrow. I feel good about being honest about my gambling and I accept full responsibility for my actions. I am very sad that I gambled. I have only myself to depend on financially. That’s scary that I would sabotage myself. I have a lot to work on!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Charles for your post! I am ashamed to say it but I gambled last night! The monetary loss wasn’t big but the emotional toll that I am feeling today is overwhelming! Why? I don’t know. I am sorting out everything in my mind. Obviously, I have some issues! Yesterday started out great. My Mom and I went to 2 holiday bazaars and I found 2 unusual Christmas gifts (handmade). We had lunch at a new place in town and I spent some time with my Mom at her home. My intentions were to come home and read or watch a movie. Instead I went to the casion and stayed 8 hours. I took $500 out of the ATM and blew it. I won serveral times and put that back into the machines. I didn’t leave until I had nothing left. I didn’t go back to the ATM. I did have enough sense to finally stop but I think that was only because I was tired. It is getting cold here and we are expecting some snow tomorrow. I have noticed that my disposition has changed a little since winter has settle in. I think the answer for me is to find some projects (crafts) to do to occupy my time!! I will be in the city for 4 days at the end of the week and than Thanksgiving will be here. Then I will decorate and get prepared for Christmas. I am going to kick myself for gambling for awhile. I am picking myself up and continuing on my journey.

[lizbeth4]

Woke with a sore throat again. Took some medicine. Tonight I am taking my Mom to dinner. Sometimes she acts so child-like, almost like she needs extra attention. She asked me what she was supposed to do when I was in the city for 4 days the end of next week. She has a Dr’ s appointment on Monday and asked me if I was going to take her. The way she asked was kind of sad. I get it, she has never liked to drive and I think her eyesight is getting worse. It must be hard to have to give up some of your Independence. She has lost some of her confidence. Maybe she is scared. We are going to 2 church holiday bazaars on Saturday and she seems to be very excited. I am here and not going anywhere. I keep conveying this to her.

[lizbeth4]

Cat, good to see you posting. You are a special person! It will take you some time to get used to retirement. I am more busy now then when I was working. LOL!! But now for the most part, I choose what I am going to do. I have a list of projects. Enjoy your life! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Carole. I was thinking of you today. I hope that everything is going well.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks FG. I have talked to my Daughter about me supporting her not enabling her. I don’t know if she gets it. I need to step back and let her find her path. This is nothing new. She has had drug addictions for half of her life (16 years) Very devastating to watch. I was able to push rehabs and counseling until she turned 18, and was deemed a adult. I cried everyday for years, developed stomach ulcers and was on the verge of a breakdown. My Husband intervened and told me that he didn’t want to lose me. He was very concerned about my health especially when I had a heart attack. There were only 2 times in our 30 years together that I saw fear in his eyes, then and when he was dying. I started counseling and was able to still care for my Daughter but not be consumed with her issues. It’s been a hard journey for our family. Most of them have no communication with her and I totally understand. It’s a bad place to be! Anyways, I am feeling much better. I am going to the store to get the turkey and a few other items. Thanksgiving and Christmas are bittersweet as my youngest Daughter isn’t invited. I want to make these pleasant memories for my Grandson not drama filled or everyone feeling anxious because we don’t know what is going to transpire. I make the best of it.

[lizbeth4]

So my youngest Daughter (addict) and her boyfriend of 8 years have been living in someone’s garage for a year. They have been working part time jobs and have saved enough money to move into a small place. I am praying that they find somewhere as it is going to be hard without any credit or rental history. It is a big step for them. They are trying. My Motherly instinct is to help but I won’t. No more enabling. She needs to find her way. This is hard!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Cat. Thanks for your awesome post and support! Congrats on your gamble free time. We know that it is not easy. Sorry to hear about your Husband’s health. Happy retirement to both of you. Being able to spend more time with family, traveling and just being able to do what you want without working is awesome. Enjoy! Take care. I will always remember your kind words and support when my Husband was sick and after his death. You will never know how much that meant to me.

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