[lizbeth4]

Thanks Laura for your post. I never take you as preachy. I have started to lower my expectations when it comes to family members. And I am getting better with setting up boundaries also. Then there is less hurt and confrontation. It is sad but I think a healthy way to deal with dysfunction. I surprised my Mom with lunch today, a variety of wings, potatoe and pasta salads from our local deli. She was happy. I am trying a new church tomorrow. Kind of excited!! The problem that I am finding in regards to volunteering here is that they want a commitment of 30 or more hours weekly. I help with my Grandson a lot and don’t want to be tied down. Maybe through the church I can find ways to help my community. I am more open now to meeting people and hopefully build friendships. Life is good.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Laura. Today is a new day! A gamble free day! This journey is hard. I’ve experienced my bumps in the road. We are our worse enemy. You know what to do. Keep reaching out here. You have support here. You are never alone. Keep trying! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Charles, thanks for your great post!!! My past Christmases were made of using credit to purchase gifts and the food as I would have used all of the cash to gamble. It was a stressful time not a joyful one spent with family. Now being gamble free, I have already purchased the gifts and decorated. I have planned and purchased almost everything for Christmas dinner. I am looking forward to spending time with my family! What a big difference!!!

[lizbeth4]

FG, I am glad that the hypnosis is helping you. I tried hypnosis once years ago for weight loss and it helped! I look at it this way, anything that will help us to be gamble free is worth a try. We should always keep a open mind. Good on your 5 weeks gamble free! You are doing well!!! Keep going.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks FG for your post! I am trying to live in the present. I know that gambling would really screw up my life but that doesn’t stop the urges I have every so often. I must be strong and not give in. I went to the post office today and mailed my Aunt and Sister, Nephew and Great Niece their Christmas gifts. My Mom and I went to the movies this afternoon. Very enjoyable. My Sister called my Mom with a gloom and doom story. In the process she said things that contradict things she has said before. In other words, she lied and my Mom caught on. What I don’t understand is why you would want to upset your elderly Mother. Very selfish and self centered. I know you can’t change anyone, you have to accept them but you don’t have to agree. My Mom is going to come over when I start my Christmas baking to help. She asked me if she could. I am starting to get my boundaries with her more in place. I know when we’ve been together long enough and when it’s time for me to leave. She does continue to try to intersect herself in every facet of my life but I intervene and stop her. It causes less stress and arguments. Yesterday when we went for breakfast, I observed that she is really afraid of change and if she doesn’t understand something she just ignores it like it is going away. When I get frustrated with her, I try to think in a compassionate way. She is my only parent and that when she passes, I will miss her.

[lizbeth4]

So I made it to the gym this morning in 20 degree weather. YEAH! I have my Christmas tree up and all of my presents wrapped. I only need to purchase a few gift cards when I go to the city next week. I paid bills today and thought about gambling because I have money left in my account. DAH!! I have extra money because I haven’t gambled!!! So I didn’t gamble. I am enjoying a cup of hot chocolate and looking at the beautiful Christmas tree.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Seri68. It feels good to not gamble and to have that money as the holidays approach. Keep going!!!

[lizbeth4]

It was very cold here today. I had my nails done and took my Mom grocery shopping. Oh, my Mom called about the hospital bill and it appears that the hospital didn’t bill the insurance company right. They are trying to work on it. Anyways, I took the plunge and text my Sister. She is sick with a stomach virus. We just small talked. I looked on my phone and the last time I text her was over a month ago. I don’t know why I am trying. I just can’t let it go!!! I decorated the Christmas tree. It looks pretty! I briefly thought about gambling. Going to stay home and wrap presents.

[lizbeth4]

So today turned into a big bummer!!! The art and craft sale didn’t happen. We drove there and nothing was set up? My Mom was upset as she doesn’t understand the medical bills that she just received from the insurance companies for her heart surgery. I tried to help her sort them out. I told her to call on Monday to get clarification. She went on and on about money. I told her that even with health insurance, I had to pay around $50,000 for my Husband’s hospital stays and chemo. She reiterated, well you had the money. Yes, thank goodness he had life insurance. I told her that if she owed anything, she could work out payment arrangements and maybe get the amount reduced because she doesn’t make a lot of money. It fell on deft ears. I finally had to leave and go home. I could have gambled today! Instead I came home and organized my closet. I have 2 bags of clothes to donate to our local women’s shelter. Also, I felt like I had to validate myself with her today. She made the comment that I don’t talk to my Sister. I told her that was not the case. Since we reunited after my Sister stopped talking to me for a year, she has only contacted me once. Most of the texts and calls were initiated by me. Very one sided relationship. My Mom said nothing. It makes me wonder if she and my Sister are talking about me when they have their weekly phone chats. If so, shame on them. I don’t think my Mom gets it that I will be the one who takes care of her as she ages. As far as my Sister is concerned, I have written off having a great relationship with her. She has hurt many family members with her uncaring attitude. I can’t change how she feels. Sorry for ranting. Something I needed to get off of my chest.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks FG for your post. Thanksgiving was very low key due to last minute changes. My Grandson went to another state with his Dad to have thanksgiving with his other Grandmother. My Daughter and her ex decided that he could have my Grandson on Thanksgiving and she would have him on Christmas. He didn’t give her much notice. She is tired of arguing with him. He is so angry and bitter that she has moved on and has a boyfriend. He tries to make her life miserable. But she is handling the situation well and is making the right decisions with her son in mind. So it was my Mom, Daughter and I. We went out for dinner. I saved the turkey, etc for Christmas dinner. My immediate family is very small. My youngest Daughter isn’t invited to holiday functions as she has ruined some with her drug use and my Sister and her son don’t want to participate. Real dysfunctional family. My cousins either live in different states or we are not close. Anyways, it was a good day. I will go all out for Christmas. I love decorating and baking. My Daughter went home this morning. She and her boyfriend are going on a 2 day hiking and camping trip. Tomorrow, my Mom and I are going to a Christmas arts and crafts festival in a town 20 miles from here. I am looking forward to it! Doing a few things around the house today. Loving life!

[lizbeth4]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Have a great day with family and friends.

[lizbeth4]

I came home yesterday Even though I didn’t have a lot of time with my Grandson and Daughter, I enjoyed catching up with friends. It felt good reconnecting with them. I spent most of the day with my Mom. It went well. Getting ready for Thanksgiving. Saturday my Mom and I are going to the next town for a Christmas boutique sale and lunch. It will be fun. I worked on the yard, blowing and raking leaves. It is a continuous battle as all the leaves are still falling off the trees. It keeps me busy and out of trouble. Keeping busy= no gambling!!!

[lizbeth4]

I had a awesome visit with my friend and her grandson. We are already making plans for after she retires in January. I am so happy that I reached out to her and that we got together.

[lizbeth4]

Courage, I am happy that you haven’t gambled! Keep on that path. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Ican. Sometimes life really sucks. It is so hard to lose people that we care about. Next March will mark the 3rd year since my Husband died. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels like it was years ago. Just remember the good times and memories. It helps me get through the sadness. I hope your friend with cancer finds peace and the Doctors find a way to help her. I love the way that you found some laughter in your sad day. Take care

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