[lizbeth4]

The last few days I have had strong urges to gamble. I haven’t acted upon the urges. I need to like and love myself more. I care too much about what other’s think than how I feel. I am a good person with flaws like everyone else. Today I didn’t gamble!

[lizbeth4]

Hi, I was wondering how you were? I miss your posts. Hope that things are good! Post when you can.

[lizbeth4]

You have to except your loss and move forward. Put barriers in place and come to the GT support groups or find a GA meeting. Nothing will change until you make changes. It is a hard journey but well worth it. You have to get to the point where you are just sick of living a gambler’s life. Stay strong! Keep posting!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Joshua, Welcome to GT. I am a CG. I work everyday to be gamble free. I can share with you the things that have helped me. Banning from casinos, limiting my access to cash and cards, GT and GA meetings. I think that having one on one contact with other people who know what you are going through is important. The struggle is hard but well worth it. Keep posting!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Jenny, I understand how you feel. The feelings of numbness, hurt, shame, ect. I lied to everyone in my life. IT DOES MATTER HOW YOU FEEL! You can turn this around. It takes work. The problems we cause ourselves by gambling takes time to undo. You can get out of debt! You can stop lying to others. I tell you that it was the most freeing feeling when I told the truth and seeked help for my gambling. If you can, find a support group, GA meeting. I think it helps to have one on one contact with other people who are going through the same things. Don’t give up! Keep posting.

[lizbeth4]

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” Jimmy Dean

[lizbeth4]

Hi Jenny, I do understand how you feel. Maybe you could talk to someone on the help line. They might have more suggestions to help you. Don’t give up on yourself. This journey is hard but I believe that there is always hope.

[lizbeth4]

Geordie, I am happy that you are feeling more positive and plans are back in place. Take care!

[lizbeth4]

HI Jennaraye88, Never give up on yourself! We all have relapased. Sorry that you are going through this pain. Things can change. Put barriers back into place, banning, blockers, access to money and cards, GT, GA meetings and counceling. You need support, maybe it is time to have a talk with your boyfriend. You have our support here. You are not alone! You can turn things around. You are worth it! Keep posting.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your support! I am in a better frame of mind today. I think that exercising everyday is great for my body and mind. I have so much to be thankful for. I need to remember that when I want to go to the dark side of my personality. It’s easy to give in and wallow in negativity. I will look for the positives in everyone and everything.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for your post. My Mom and I went to the movie today for the client appreciation party. Afterwards we went to my house for dinner, roast and vegetables. Yummy! I am hitting the gym tomorrow. I was glad that I went to lunch the other day with my new friend and her husband. It’s hard for me to make friends. You would think that at my age (58) I would be more sure of myself. I have a lot to work on. Lately I have been angry about things, in general. I am approaching the 3rd year anniversary of my Husband’s death. The widow support group that I belong to says that is normal. I don’t like feeling this way. I also feel like it is a gateway for me to gamble. I am trying hard not to. So the battle continues!

[lizbeth4]

Oh and I bought a tax program to download in my computer. Heck to paying $189 to get my taxes done again. I can do them myself.

[lizbeth4]

Yes FG, it is hard buying stuff at full price! Some of the shirts are name brand and look new. One shirt has the original tag on it and is new. I have donated clothes there before. It benefits a woman’s and children’s shelter for domestic violence. A good cause! I am staying home today and watching movies. I am going to put a roast and vegetables in the crock pot for tomorrow. Tomorrow my realtor is hosting a client appreciation party. I am invited to a movie at our only theater in town., and free refreshments. I can bring a guest, my Mom. So, that’s what I am doing tomorrow. Next week my goal is to go to the gym at least 5 times and walk every evening. I am setting goals for myself! I bought a canvas, bags of old buttons, paints. I am making a button art tree of life picture that I saw on the internet. I am going to hang it above my bed whether it turns out awful or not. LOL. Trying to find my creative side. It might take awhile.

[lizbeth4]

I went out of my comfort zone and spent the afternoon with the woman and her husband I met while walking. We went to a Italian restaurant that I had never been to. They are very interesting people. I enjoyed myself. She and I went to a thrift store, it was 50 percent off day. I bought 6 shirts for $5. They want me to go on a day trip with them next month. Something I like to do. It was a good day. I have touched base with my Mom. We both apologized to each other. I feel like I can move forward from here and put my boundaries up again. She isn’t going to change, is she? I must accept her for who she is but I need to stand firm with my boundaries. I am happy to say that I had no gambling urges today.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks FG for your post on my thread. I am always open to your advice. This economy is scary. The stock market, oil prices, real estate, etc I am grateful for what I have and my health. I thank God everyday,,,,You are right about not gambling and paying off debt and saving. Your words might keep me from gambling today. Thank you.

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