[lizbeth4]

FG, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. A friendship like you had doesn’t happen very often. You have all the memories. No one can take them away from you. Everyone grieves differently. Don’t let any one tell you how you should grieve. If it gets to be too overwhelming talk to a professional. Remember to take care of yourself . Take care!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Ican, I am glad that you got your Daughter settled. It is hard to see your children move away. I like that you and your Husband are working as a team! That makes everything better! Any debt is better than gambling debt! From your post it also seems like you are more content with your life! It feels like you are in a good place. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Geordie. It was good to see your post. You have made a lot of progress and should be very proud of yourself! Sometimes I feel like I’m being tested. When you feel like you are being pulled finacially or emotionally, something else happens to make it worse. Maybe it just makes us stronger. I hope your work situation improves. You are doing well. I wish you all the best. You are worth a great, peaceful, life. Gambling isn’t worth it!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Liberty, I loved your post. It was powerful! I used to wonder what other’s would think of me if they knew that I am a CG. Then I started thinking, everyone has either addictions or issues. We are all human. Everyone has done something that they are not proud of and wished that they could change. If someone was going to judge me for anything that I have done, they are not a good person. We are not defined by our addiction. There are many more layers to ourselves. Spring is a time for renewal! Keep moving along your gamble free path. You are worth it!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Micky for your post. Gambling just causes misery! I am alright today. I have been out and about, getting papers notarized and then to another place to fax them for the consolidation company. Everything is in place! I thought about working in my yard today but it is extremely windy here. I am a bit lonely but sometimes lonely is good. It is giving me time to self reflect and do things just for me as next month is going to be busy with 2 trips to the city. I am going to be ok.

[lizbeth4]

Thank you for posting on my thread! I am glad that you thought it through and didn’t gamble. It just causes us misery in the end. I hope your day is going well! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Today I woke in a depression. I have lost 5 pounds this week from the stress with my Mother. I haven’t felt like eating. I finally told myself enough! I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store, did some shopping and came home and made myself a sandwich. I am feeling much better now. I am proud of myself for getting my debts in place with the consolidation and taking back the reins on my life again! Changes are hard but always worth it! I have plans next month to spend time with friends and my Grandson and Daughter’s. Things are looking up!

[lizbeth4]

I want to say keep going also! It’s easy to think that you can win back your losses. Been there, done that! It never works out that way in the end. I understand how it can be boring and depressing when we have to face our losses and debt. Accepting our addiction is really hard but we have to so we can work on our issues. Just don’t give up! Things do get better when we don’t GAMBLE!

[lizbeth4]

Congratulations on your Gamble free time!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kpat for your post! I live only 6 blocks from my Mother, my choice. I talked to a really good friend this afternoon. She told me to keep my distance also. I need to take care of me! I hope that it isn’t forever with my Mom. She holds grudges and never lets go of them. I think that I have just been so immersed in her life and it’s time to step back and think about my life. I don’t deserve the hatefulness she gives to me! I know it’s not going to change. I think that I am putting the guilt on myself. I am thinking things through and dealing. Sometimes it takes me awhile to sort things out. It is going to be alright.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks P for you post and support. I guess I am feeling a bit lonely and abandoned. When my Mother told me that she was almost through with me and then threw up things that I told her in confidence, it just killed me. Then she told me to get out of her house. I think that all of the belittlement just tore a hole in my soul. I know I need to forgive her for my own well being, but that is so hard. I don’t know if our relationship will continue after this last incident. Honestly, I did nothing wrong and even though I know it isn’t my fault, I feel guilty. Guilt has been programmed in me since I was a child. Almost every article I have read online about dysfunction and my Mother’s personality traits tells me that I should just walk away for my own well being. This is so hard!

[lizbeth4]

Sounds like you are back on track! Keep going. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I didn’t go to church this morning. I barely slept. The dysfunction in my family has me feeling depressed and guilty. Guilty because I feel like I should be able to fix things and people. I know I can’t! I need to fix myself first. I will get out of this mood. I have to think of all I have to be grateful for and concentrate on that. This evening I will start with a walk. Tomorrow I will get up early and hit the gym. I know the only way the dysfunction will end for me is if I distance myself. I don’t have gambling urges nor the money if I did. That is a good thing!

[lizbeth4]

I made it to the gardening class this morning. Not very many people there but I made myself go and I did learn some tips. I am looking forward to starting my vegetable and herb garden. I am going to put my raised garden frames together next week. I have all of the seeds. I just need to buy some more organic soil. I am also working on my tree of life button picture. I am going to draw and paint the tree today. I was looking at the bags of buttons I bought over a year ago and deciding which to use. I am not very creative, art wise, but I am having fun doing this picture. It is going to hang it in my bedroom. Anyways, it’s a beautiful, sunny day here! I am going to enjoy it! Have a great weekend everyone. I will keep you posted on my new church experience tomorrow.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Reddy, I think that you can exclude, ban yourself from most casinos. Casinos are fun at first but if you look around there are few people with smiles on their faces. I’m sure everyone there has a story. Glad that your overtime is enjoyable!! I am retired but had my share of overtime. A year isn’t too long! Keep going. Have a good weekend yourself!

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