[lizbeth4]

Hvala Laura na tvom postu! Još se ne osjećam dobro, ali uspjela sam zapakirati poklone unucima i oprati rublje. Danas popravljam kuću i usisavam. U posljednje vrijeme nisam provodio puno vremena s unukom. Nedavno je nosio protezu i njegov 12. rođendan je za 3 tjedna! Ne mogu vjerovati! Moja unuka dobro puzi i već se pokušava podignuti i ustati. Život se nastavlja! Kad sam imao puno novca, i dalje sam imao iste probleme, ali novac sam koristio za kupnju stvari i privremene obustave osjećaja. Nikada se nisam bavio svojim problemima. Nemojte me krivo shvatiti, radije bih imao novca nego bio švorc. Opet ću biti na vrhu. Ovaj put će biti drugačije. Štednja, ušteda, ušteda! Teži pristup novcu. Prepreke.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Laura for your post! I’m still not feeling well but I’ve managed to wrap the Grandkids presents and do laundry. I’m straightening the house and vacuuming today. I haven’t spent a lot of time with my Grandson lately. He recently had braces pur on and his 12th birthday is in 3 weeks! I can’t believe it! My Granddaughter is crawling well and is already trying to pull herself up and stand. Life keeps going on! When I had a lot of money, I still had the same problems but I used the money to buy things and do things to temporarily suspend my feelings. I never dealt with my issues. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have money than be broke. I will get on top again. This time will be different. Savings, savings, savings! Harder access to the money. Barriers.

[lizbeth4]

Hvala ti-did-it na promišljenom postu! Cijeli dan nisam ništa radio. Osjećajte se približno isto. Moram obaviti stvari sutra jer moja najstarija kći i unuk dolaze 24.. Razmišljao sam dok sam se odmarao, ovo mora biti zadnji put da me ova ovisnost obuzme. Stvari se trebaju promijeniti. Moram se promijeniti. Više prepreka, pronalaženje različitih načina za rješavanje stresa. Stvari mogu biti drugačije. Moram se potruditi i obaviti posao.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it for your thoughtful post! I’ve done nothing all day. Feel about the same. I have to get stuff done tomorrow as my oldest Daughter and Grandson are coming on the 24th. I’ve been thinking as I was resting, this has to be the last time for this addiction to take me over. Things need to change. I need to change. More barriers, finding different ways to deal with stress. Things can be different. I need to make the effort and do the work.

[lizbeth4]

Hvala Vera na postu! Žao mi je što sam bio bolestan. Pitao sam se gdje ste? Ili ako jednostavno niste objavili. Dajete puno valjanih i dobrih bodova. Drago mi je da se osjećaš bolje. Hvala vam na podršci i razmišljanjima. To mi mnogo znači. Znam što je pokrenulo moju epizodu kockanja. Bilo je to bolno iskustvo o kojem ovdje ne mogu govoriti. Nisam se snašao u situaciji i odlučio sam se samouništiti. Božić će biti u redu. Postoje darovi za djecu i bit će dosta hrane. Nikad nisam bio osoba koja zarađuje novac. Imao sam ga, a bio sam i siromašan. Moje zanemarivanje toga ipak nije dobro. Moram se puno ponovo učiti. Čim se vratim na pravi put, moja ušteda počinje ponovno. Ovaj put je za mene bilo drugačije. Možda zato što mi je rođendan pao tijekom moje financijske zbrke. Ne postajem mlađi. Dobre vijesti: nazvao me jedan od vjerovnika koji nisu htjeli surađivati sa mnom i vratit će propušteno plaćanje natrag u zajam. Veliko olakšanje! Slijedeći tjedan ću ponovno nazvati drugog vjerovnika. Odlazak na odmor!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera for your post! Sorry to hear that you’ve been sick. I’d wondered where you we’re? Or if you just wasn’t posting. You make a lot of valid and good points. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Thanks for your support and thoughts. It means a lot to me. I know what triggered my gambling episode. It was a painful experience that I can’t talk about here. I didn’t handle the situation right and decided to self destruct. Christmas will be fine. There are gifts for the kids and there will be plenty of food. I’ve never been a money person. I’ve had it and I’ve been poor also. My disregard for it though is not good. I need to relearn a lot. As soon as I get back on track, my savings start again. This time was different for me. Maybe because my birthday fell during my financial mess. I’m not getting younger. Good news: 1 of the creditors that didn’t want to work with me, called me and is going to add the missed payment back into the loan. A big relief! I am going to call the other creditor again next week. Going to rest!

[lizbeth4]

Hvala i-did-it i Kathryn na vašim postovima! Nema kolača jučer, jedva se jede! Učinio sam to, dobivam prijetnje da će me jedan vjerovnik tužiti na sudu za male tražbine. Mogu samo ono što mogu. Kathryn, sigurna sam da tvoja prijateljica cijeni tvoju podršku. Ponekad pomaže samo to što vas netko samo sluša. Samo želim biti u krugu svoje obitelji na Božić i uživati u unucima. Otprilike isto se osjećam. Moram skupiti snagu da danas postignem nekoliko stvari!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it and Kathryn for your posts! No cake yesterday, can barely eat! I-did-it, I’m getting threats of being sued in small claims court by 1 creditor. I can only do what I can do. Kathryn, I’m sure your friend appreciates your support. Sometimes just having someone just listen to you helps. I just want to be around my family at Xmas and enjoy the Grandkids. I’m feeling about the same. I have to muster up some strength to accomplish a few things today!

[lizbeth4]

Hvala Monicau na postu! Imam nekoliko presudnih trenutaka u životu u kojima želim da se mogu vratiti i promijeniti odluke koje sam donio. Veliki je to što nemam djece sa svojim mužem. On je imao 1 kćer, a ja 2 kćeri. On je želio dijete zajedno, ali ja nisam. To je nešto zbog čega sam uvijek žalio. Ali ne možemo promijeniti prošlost! Iako u mojoj obitelji ima mnogo disfunkcija, ja ih volim. Posebno Moje djevojčice i unuke. Rođendan sam proveo odmarajući se. Danas se iz nekog razloga osjećam gore. Obje su mi djevojke čestitale rođendan. Monicau, hvala što ste bili pozitivni u pogledu mojih vjerovnika. Trenutno postoje 2 osobe koje nisu spremne raditi sa mnom. Ne znam mogu li ispuniti njihove zahtjeve. Mogu samo ono što mogu. Zaista mislim da je ovo bila velika lekcija za mene. Ne želim ponovno biti na ovoj poziciji.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Monicau for your post! I have a couple crucial times in my life where I wish that I could go back and change the decisions I made. A big one is not having children with my Husband. He had 1 daughter and I had 2 daughters. He wanted a child together but I didn’t. It is something I’ve always regretted. But we can’t change the past! Even though there is a lot of dysfunction in My family, I love them. Especially My girls and Grandbabies. My birthday was spent resting. For some reason, I’m feeling worse today. My girls both gave me birthday wishes. Monicau, thanks for being positive about my creditors. Right now, there are 2 that aren’t willing to work with me. I don’t know if I can fulfill their demands. I can only do what I can do. I really think this was a great lesson for me. I don’t want to be in this position again.

[lizbeth4]

I-did-it, I had someone disrespect my recovery because of the length of time that I’ve been on this site. At every turn she had something negative to say about me. I stayed off of her thread and never replied to her comments. She finally disappeared. It was unnerving! She was so engrossed with me that she didn’t concentrate on her own recovery. I don’t care how long you’ve been on GT, how many relapses people have had. If you can keep coming here for support and help, more power to you!!! Everyone’s recovery is different.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monicau, Thanks for your support! I think it is cruel for anyone to think that by hitting rock bottom it’s okay to be hungry or cold. That is just plain cruel. Anyone and everyone deserves nourishment, shelter and heat. What the heck are these people thinking???? We should be given encouragement not knocked down. We aren’t sub humans. It is worrisome that you’re not eating properly. I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with this situation. Don’t ever forget how awesome you are! I look forward to your posts. The way you describe things you’ve seen, like your recent walk. It makes me feel like I’m there with you. Take care!

[lizbeth4]

Hvala Monicau i Laura na vašim postovima! Monicau, za mene nema pileće juhe. 4. rujna prestao sam jesti piletinu, svinjetinu i govedinu. I dalje jedem mlijeko, jaja. Do sada sam smršavio 16 kg. Ja sam sagitaurus. Majčin dan je dan poslije mene. Pomislili biste da smo srodne duše, ali mi smo suprotnosti. Osjećam se bolje. Samo se odmaram. Laura, zahvalan sam što mi kći osigurava večeru. Moja najmlađa kći kupuje pite i kiflice. Već sam kontaktirao vjerovnike, neki će raditi sa mnom, drugi ne žele. Tako je kako je. Moram nastaviti vjerovati da će sve biti u redu i suočiti se s nekim posljedicama za svoje postupke. Spavam u božićnoj dukserici, pokušavam doći u božićni duh. Ponekad se osjećam tako patetično. Zaradio sam toliko novca ne samo od kockanja već i od kompulzivne kupovine. Ne bi li bilo sjajno kad biste mogli pogledati u kristalnu kuglu i pogledati svoj život? Mogli biste promijeniti ponašanje i postupke i zaista cijeniti ljude koji odlaze u zagrobni život. Samo misao. Nakon Božića idem vidjeti mogu li povećati svoj prihod. Živim u gradu od 12.000 ljudi. Čuvanje djece i skrb za starije vjerojatno će mi biti na raspolaganju. Učinit ću sve što je potrebno.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Monicau and Laura for your posts! Monicau, no chicken soup for me. September 4th, I stopped eating chicken, pork and beef. I still eat dairy, eggs. I’ve lost 16 lbs so far. I’m a saggitaurus. My Mother’s bday is the day after mine. You would think we’d be kindred spirits but we are opposites. I feel better. I’m just resting. Laura, I’m grateful that my Daughter is providing the dinner. My youngest Daughter is buying the pies and dinner rolls. I’ve already contacted creditors, some will work with me, others don’t want to. It is what it is. I have to keep believing that it’s going to be ok and face some consequences for my actions. I’m sleeping in my Xmas sweatshirt, trying to get in the Xmas spirit. Sometimes I feel so pathetic. I’ve blown so much money not just on gambling but compulsive shopping. Wouldn’t it be great if you could look into a crystal ball and view your life? You could change behaviors and actions and really appreciate the people who are going on to the afterlife. Just a thought. After Xmas, I’m going to see if I can increase my income. I live in a town of 12,000 people. Babysitting and elder care are probably going to be my options. I’ll do whatever it takes.

[lizbeth4]

Hvala i-did-it. Danas se osjećam malo bolje. Nisam jeo 3 dana. Kasnije ću probati juhu. Učinio sam to, pokušavam ostati pozitivan. Nekada je teško. Sutra mi je rođendan, velikih 60. Ne želim slaviti. Još pokušavam smisliti način plaćanja računa sljedeći mjesec, ali to je sljedeći mjesec.

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