[lizbeth4]

This morning I was listening to the rain and watching the geese by the pond across from me. Life is really cruel sometimes! It makes you question things. I ran into my youngest Daughters friend and her Mother at the grocery store yesterday evening. The Mother is in a wheelchair now. She has lupus and many health issues from it. I’d seen her shortly before my Granddaughter was born. She is my age and has decided to stop all treatment, surgeries, ect… On top of that her Husband was just diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. They are very wealthy and were generous as they bought a bassinet for my Granddaughter and threw a baby shower for her. It’s sad and makes you realize how fragile life is. So while I feel like sometimes I’ve really screwed up my life, it is fixable. No gambling! Live in the present. Love my family and friends. Be kind to everyone as you don’t know what they are going through.

[lizbeth4]

Monicau, I’m trying to follow what you are going through legally. I get the jest of it. I’m happy that one part of it is settled. Do you think that when Pete leaves it will be a big weight off of you? I think having your son living with you would be so much better for you. Less depressing. I can’t even fathom what you are enduring. I just don’t want you to give up! I’m praying that your situation changes. You’ve been through so much. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Happy New Years! You’ve made great strides! You give me the inspiration to do the same.

[lizbeth4]

I’m feeling even better today! My Granddaughter is taking a little nap. My 2 sales yesterday didn’t come through. I’m ok. Saturday, I will have my Daughter make the deposit for me when we get back from my Grandsons birthday party. Even though money is tight, I shouldn’t complain. There are many others that have less and it seems like there is always something that needs to be paid. Money!!!!! I’m grateful that I am gamble free. Life is never perfect but mine is very content and peaceful. Some may think it is boring but I like it like that. Have a great gamble free day everyone!

[lizbeth4]

I wanted to get in a quick post before my Granddaughter arrives. I’m feeling better today. I went to bed early and I’m awake early! My Granddaughter keeps me on my toes as she is pulling herself up and taking steps. She is only a little over 9 months but I think she is going to be a early walker. I woke this morning feeling grateful not depressed worrying about my losses. That’s a good feeling. Things aren’t perfect but that’s life. It’s easy to focus on the negatives but when you find the positives it changes your whole outlook. Today I will not gamble. I will live in the present and enjoy my life. Have a great gamble free day everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Vera and I-did-it! Vera, I’m banned from the local casino and the next nearest one to me is over 100 miles away. That is a big deterrent for me! I’m in a mountainous rural area and wouldn’t drive the roads to get there at night. I’ve been using the extra money for food and home supplies. I have no other cash source till my oldest Daughter gives me the mortgage payment on the 13th. I’ve already paid the mortgage.
I’ve already asked my youngest Daughter to deposit it into my checking account for me so there is no temptation. It will go towards other bills I need to pay. She is helping me be accountable and I trust her. I-did-it, I feel like the unsinkable Molly Brown!!! It’s funny how resourceful and what we can live without when we have to. I even got out today and had lunch at my Mom’s house. She fixed a lot of veggies and salad as I couldn’t eat the meatloaf. We had a card game and I played with my Granddaughter! I even helped my Mother with a few things. Tomorrow, I will be watching my Granddaughter while her Mommy works. I’m drinking a lot of fluids and plan to go to bed early. I’m so happy to be feeling better. Being gamble free just puts me into a different frame of mind.

[lizbeth4]

I am feeling better today! I’ve taken a long hot shower and feel like a new person! Lol!!! I have several appointments tomorrow to sell some jackets that I’ve never worn. I am getting rid of a lot of my compulsive shopping items. It is good to see them go. Very therapeutic! I don’t need a lot of things to make me happy. So I guess it was a lesson learned!

[lizbeth4]

K, I’m so happy that you had a wonderful visit with your Mum. She sounds like a awesome lady! I think that I’m feeling a little better today. I got to hold my Granddaughter yesterday. She must be missing me as she kept crawling to me and wanted me to pick her up. I’m watching her This week so my Daughter can work. I had to decide to forgive my Mom for my own well being. I had a very mentally, verbally abusive childhood. So did my siblings. It makes it hard to remember the good times. My Sister feels the same way and she deals by detaching and seeing Mom when she wants to. It’s sad but my reality. I do refuse to be her scapegoat anymore. I’ve made big steps with her. A lot of counseling and soul searching. I-did-it, I can tell that Im alreading pulling away from my friendship. She has a lot of hurt in her life that she doesn’t deal with. Im going to make it clear that our friendship cant include gambling. Today I am not going to gamble as I am worth a gamble free life. I am worth all the good things that are here for me. I deserve peace and serenity.

[lizbeth4]

I hope that Christians against poverty will be able to help you formulate a plan so you don’t lose your home. I’m the type who likes to talk things out also. Maybe your partner doesn’t understand how talking about why you gambled would be very beneficial to both of you. You don’t want to repeat the same behaviors. It is so hard to wade through the financial messes we make. I feel for you as I am digging out right now! You need to really think about yourself right now, your feelings and how you are going to handle things when you feel like gambling. Maybe your partner will come around and be able to talk to you about why you gambled. Just keep doing what you are doing to stay gamble free! Self care right now is what you need. Take care. I’m thinking of you and sending you positive vibes on your finances

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kathryn for your post! I was able to get out today and I sold 2 items on a local FB selling site. So I was able to generate some cash. I’ve sold or donated many items I don’t use anymore. Grandkids are the best! They bring so much joy. Kathryn, although I’m not real close to my Mom, I see her getting weaker, more forgetful and it’s hard to see. So I can understand you being depressed after seeing your Mom when she has had a bad day. I’m sure it’s hard for you visiting your Mom. I still don’t seem to do anything right in my Mom’s eyes but I have just learned to tune her out and try to grasp any good that comes from her. It makes me try harder to have better relationships with my Daughters. I tell them how much I love them! Life is too short to be bitter, judgemental and mean. No one wins! I won’t have any regrets when my Mom is gone. I have already made peace with her in my own mind. That was a big step for me. All of my Aunts, Uncles and many Cousins are now deceased. It’s sad! It’s cool here but we haven’t had any snow yet. Very unusual. I’m always looking for the light Kathryn. There is a lot to be grateful for. Today I didn’t gamble and didn’t have urges.

[lizbeth4]

Hi alliesmum, You’ve already implemented a lot of good things to help you in recovery. You aren’t wasting any time! That is good! Having the support of your Husband, Mother and Sister is great! Keep going!

[lizbeth4]

P.S. Surround yourself with some bright colors. Maybe a brightly coloured picture? I seem to gravitate towards earth tones but have used bright colors in accent pillows, ect. It does help to brighten your world.

[lizbeth4]

I’m still feeling blah! I’m also finding myself getting a little depressed. I just wanted to say again to all of you that have chronic health conditions, I have so much respect for you! I hate being sick and I’m starting to get grouchy and whiny! But I know it will be over. My sweet Daughter brought soups and crackers over for me yesterday. It was very appreciated. I received a late Xmas box from a Nephew and his Fiancee yesterday. They were unable to come for Xmas. It contains presents for all of us and my Daughter can open it today. I may be sick but I am gamble free and I’ve put barriers in place to help me stay that way. Life can be hard and sad sometimes but if you really look, you can find the light, the positives. So, everyone, hang in there. Have a great gamble free weekend!

[lizbeth4]

Monicau, I agree with i-did-it that you need a supplement or daily vitamin. You also should be drinking a nutritious supplement. If you can get out just for a few minutes and soak up some sun. Little steps! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I’m still very congested. I seem to wake around 3am every morning. I got out the vaporizer with the eucalyptus pods. Maybe that will help! I’ve cooled my friendship with my friend here in town. She is a CG and spends every day in the casino. Her Husband doesn’t gamble. I told her that I’ve banned myself from the casino and that we could meet else where for lunch. She agreed. I might have to end the friendship. Time will tell. My Granddaughters check up went well. She doesn’t go back till after her 1st birthday. She is pulling herself up and standing. She’s a beauty and so smart. I have a lot to be thankful for. I need to keep my eye on my goals. Everything is obtainable as long as I don’t gamble!

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