[lizbeth4]

My Grandson and ex son in law just called me to see how I was doing. How uplifted and happy I feel. There’s nothing to compare to this feeling.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it for your post! I really try to find the positives in life but sometimes it’s hard. I have to be resourceful as I have no one else to rely on. I think that’s the hardest part of not having my Husband here. I always knew I could rely on him. We made it through many hard times together. My Granddaughter’s stay was good. She makes me happy. I saw my Mother today. I really try with her but she still says her snide remarks and tries to discredit me. I will never figure out why. Even though it hurts, I try to blow it off. I’m going to limit the hours that she watches the baby when I work because she will be complaining about that next. It’s only 4 Months and that will fly by. I wouldn’t mind a part time job if I like it there. Anyways, no gambling thoughts or urges today! Hope everyone is having a great gamble free day!

[lizbeth4]

Monicau, Bettie was the first person I meet here. I’d just had a gambling binge and was at the end of the line. I went on chat here and Bettie was the only person there. She was the start of my GT experience. Her thread is awesome! Have a good day!

[lizbeth4]

Monicau, You are amazing! Getting your master degree while battling cancer. You should be proud of yourself. It shows the determination you Have! I really believe that everything good is going to fall in place for you. You certainly deserve it. I hate the gambling ads. I see them everywhere.

[lizbeth4]

I have orientation on Tuesday then job training the rest of the week! Feb 11th will be my start date. I don’t have to buy any clothing as I have clothes that fit the dress code and shoes. I’m excited! It is a manual job as we have to remodel and re-stock the whole store and it is large as it is our only department store. I will have to get acclimated to standing for 8 hours. Thank goodness that I have brand new shoes with good support that I bought some time ago. I’m breaking them in now. LOL! Honestly, since I received that call, I haven’t had any gambling urges. I have renewed hope that things are looking up!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kathryn. I’m a worrier, big time! I haven’t gambled! I’m so glad that I banned from the only casino in town as I think I’d be gambling right now. I haven’t bought scratch tickets either, though I’ve wanted to. I made all of my bills this month. Next month will be a different situation. Even working, I won’t get paid in time to cover everything. So, some things will be late. Oh, I have to let go of the worry as it causes me so much stress. Tonight my Granddaughter is spending the night so my Daughter can go out. I will focus on the joy she brings me. I will live in the present and have faith that everything will work out. Have a great gamble free weekend everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks everyone for your posts! I passed my background check. Now I’m waiting to be scheduled for orientation and training. If I don’t hear from them by Monday, I will give them a call. The next 4 months will be hectic. My Mother is going to help me with my Granddaughter while I work. A few hours in the morning so I can get some sleep. No time for gambling. I do believe in a higher power and I’ve been putting all of my faith in her.

[lizbeth4]

The interview went well. I have the job! Waiting for my background check to be completed. Then I will have orientation and training. Feb 11th is my projected start time. My Granddaughter is sleeping. I’m not as depressed today as I know that financially I will be able to pay off some debt. This is a big step as I haven’t worked for 9 years. I will have to readjust my sleep pattern as I will be working the night shift but it is doable. No gambling today!

[lizbeth4]

PS: There are other forms of gambling which I have done, scratch tickets, lotto tickets. I don’t want to go to other avenues. I have bans and barriers in place. I need to stay busy. Between watching my Granddaughter and working, I will be very busy! LOL!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it! I hope I get the job also. I’m struggling with gambling thoughts but I’ve banned myself from the local casino. I’ve been depressed about money. Going over my finances and I’m unable to cover everything next month. This job would be the answer. The worry causes stress which triggers my gambling urges. I have to let go and give it to my higher power. I have to have faith!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Monicau for your post! Oh my, my house, yard need some attention. I can’t believe how long the flu kept me down! Well, I have a interview tomorrow! The job is temporary, 4 months as it is a store remodel. If I get it, the money will pay my property taxes, 2 small loans and enable me to save the rest. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

[lizbeth4]

I’m still feeling low and struggling but I’m getting through the day. I need to stay strong for my youngest Daughter and my Granddaughter and myself. I cant lose myself. I’m hoping to hear about employment that I applied for yesterday. I will have to look into other avenues also. Hanging in there! No gambling.

[lizbeth4]

I have no motivation but mustered up enough energy to go to the library this morning and submitted my application on line. I then went and picked up my Granddaughter! I put together a high chair that was sitting in a box. My Granddaughter is walking with assistance from her walking toy. She is into everything! LOL. I had a lot more energy 12 years ago when my Grandson was born but I’m managing. Hope to get out of this funk soon!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it for your post! I’ve been awake again for awhile. I’m going to sleep very early in the evening. I’m just exhausted! Laura, I’ve just read the PAW article. It describes what is going on with me. It does make sense. Im so off. I’m not myself. I’ve always compared gambling addiction to other additions. Today, I’m determined to make it a good day. Of course, no gambling! I will be picking up my Granddaughter after submitting my application. I’m asking for a night shift so I can still watch my Granddaughter. My Mom can help for a few hours a day. I feel so drained, everyday. I need to find a solution as this is getting overwhelming. I do look for the light everyday but it’s hard to find!

[lizbeth4]

Thank you everyone for your support! I am in a funk. No motivation. Feeling lost. I wanted to isolate again today but I didn’t. One of my Nephews is in town. I spent some time with him, my Daughter, Granddaughter and my Mom. I also forced myself to go grocery shopping. I looked at the ads and clipped coupons. I was amazed at how much I bought and how little I spent. I tried to talk to my Mom and Daughter about my depression, ect.. but my Mom isn’t very empathetic and my Daughter is going through some of her own stuff right now. So I really appreciate all of your support right now! Our 1 department store is remodeling and hiring temporary help for 4 Months. Of course something is wrong with my computer and my tablet and phone doesn’t support their website. I’m going to the library tomorrow morning to do the application online. I called the personnel office and almost all of the positions are full. I’m still going to give it a try. My money issues are all not from gambling. But it didn’t help! Compulsive shopping and spending recklessly, and some poor financial decisions helped to put me in this situation. When you can’t pay your bills, it is the most helpless feeling. I don’t want to lose my property as it is one of the only stables in my life. I can’t downsize as property here is very expensive. I’ve gone through all of my options in my head. More income is neede. It will only be temporary. I’ve been out of the workforce for 9 years. Before that, I was at the same job for over 25 years. So this is kind of scary for me and a big leap. I didn’t gamble today. I can’t gamble tomorrow!

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