[lizbeth4]

Thanks Monicau and I-did-it for the great advice! I don’t have to be motivated all the time and it’s okay to have lazy days! I agree, I think the guilt of gambling makes me feel guilty if I’m not actively doing something. I’ve worked all of my life since age 12 (babysitting) so I’m allowed to be guilt free if I want to binge watch all day long! LOL! There’s a lot of shows on Netflix and Amazon Prime!! Today was spent with my family. My Nephew cooked dinner for us and made sure to include a lot of fresh veggies for me. Almost 6 months meat free. I do feel better! Another cold and rainy day. My days are filled with more meaningful things than gambling.

[lizbeth4]

It’s been rainy and cold here. It’s not helping my motivation. I’ve done little today. I’m watching a series on Netflix. Binge watching. Tomorrow is a new day. I’m going to visit my Granddaughter. No gambling=happiness.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it for your post. Today I was so unmotivated and I did nothing. I have to watch that as I seem to get into a pattern of doing nothing or little for days. I’m putting on the weight I lost. Tomorrow, I’m taking my Granddaughter for a long walk. Fresh air and exercise! Plus it helps to clear my mind.

[lizbeth4]

44 days gamble free! Impressive! Your list is achievable. I think we as women put ourselves last on the list. I feel like our happiness should be on the top of the list. If we are happy, other things fall into place. I-did-it, may credit is shot also. My debt repayment plan will be repayed in 2 years. I cut up all my credit cards. I only have a debit/visa card. Any loans or credit cards would have a hefty interest rate. I refuse to do that. I think that I am unfit to have a credit card also. Buying yourself a little something now and then is alright. Use cash! I do like your list though as it give you goals!!! Keep going.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monicau, 6 months gamble free, I hope I can get to that time period also. I read your posts and I’m amazed how strong you are. You’ve endured so much. I know things will get better for you. You’re probably sick of hearing that. So I’m probably saying the wrong thing. I think of you and pray for your situation to improve. I think gambling makes us lose our real selves. Horrid disease. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Today I consciously made the effort to do something nice for my family. I spent the day with my Mom, Daughter and Granddaughter. I purchased dinner stuff and prepared it at my Mom’s house. We had salmon, asparagus, and baked sweet potatoes. I bought chocolate creme puffs for dessert. It was delish. I did all of the clean up. My Mom was very appreciative. It was a good day! Tomorrow will be spent cleaning up a few leaves in the front and back yards. Maybe reading a book. I hope everyone is having a great gamble free weekend.

[lizbeth4]

Hi I-did-it. You are doing well on your gamble free time! I find if I buy myself a little something, it boosts my spirits. Buy a new nightgown! Have fun on your get away.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kin and I-did-it. I obviously don’t handle stress very well. That is something that I continuously work on
Sometimes my brain overreactes in certain situations or I totally shut down. I still think about the big win at times. Our society revolves around money unfortunately. When I gamble, I do cause a lot of stress for myself. Why? Anyways, I’m not gambling. I’m getting back into my daily walks and taking care of my health. Life flies by so fast. Have a good weekend everyone.

[lizbeth4]

I-did-it, my triggers are boredom and stress. If I can keep busy, I can usually get through the urges. And I’m trying to control how I react to the stress. Years ago, I was addicted to scratch tickets. I bought them daily. I thought I was doing good because it kept me from the slot machines. It’s all part of the addiction. I think when I became burdened with giant amounts of stress when dealing with my Daughters drug addiction and raising my Grandson, working, ect…everything started stressing me out. My life was lived on the edge. I never knew what was going to happen. Would my Daughter be missing for weeks, parenting a infant at age 48. Trying to keep my marriage to a alcoholic intact as I couldn’t deal with a divorce on top of everything else. It’s a wonder that I didn’t lose my mind LOL! I now realize how strong I really was. And it was worth it as my Grandson is a amazing, smart and beautiful soul. He is the love of my life! I am glad my financial mess is cleaned up as I am going to be in the city on 2 different occasions next month watching him while my Daughter is out of town. With that stress gone, I can just have one on one with him. Life can be good!!!!

[lizbeth4]

Today I’m feeling more hopeful! Very tired though. My Daughter called at 2am. My Granddaughter was running a high temperature. I went over and between the Tylenol and sleeping in Grandma’s arms, she woke this morning feeling a lot better. Teething is awful! My bills were paid online this morning. I’m so grateful. Now it’s up to me to be true to myself and do the right things. I need to stick to my budget and absolutely no gambling!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Jappy and i-did-it! I was nervous all morning and had a upset stomach. I made the call this evening as my family member doesn’t live here. She said yes and instead of giving me cash, she is paying the bills. We agreed to a monthly repayment amount and she’s not charging interest. She will go with me to ban but it won’t be till next month as she has a busy work schedule. My Sister said I could talk to her anytime and that she could easily be a CG if she had more free time. She was very understanding . I am back on track financially. I’m not going to mess it up again. I have a counselling appointment next week. I have to stay on track. Feeling better now!

[lizbeth4]

Today I’m not feeling well. Sore throat. I’m staying home and resting. I’ve made a tough decision to ask a family member to sign a $2000 loan for me. I have 2 high interest loans that need to be paid off asap. Yes, I took out these loans after 2 gambling slips. I don’t ask anyone for anything so this is a BIG decision for me. I have to swallow my pride and be honest and accountable to them. I am also going to ask them to help with my money and finances and to travel with me over 1 hour away where I last gambled to ban myself. The worse that can happen is that they say no. I have to get a grip on my finances. I’ve decided to continue my counseling as I have many other issues that I think are tied to my addict ion. It won’t hurt. Hanging in there !

[lizbeth4]

I finally looked at my bank account. Not good! Could be worse. I really have no words to describe how I feel right now. Disappointed in myself. Still depressed and unmotivated. I’m going to see my Granddaughter later today. That will help brighten my day. Still having urges even after this disaster.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Monicau, I-did-it and Nick for your posts! I’ve read a few articles about the chemical changes that occur in the brain to addicts. It’s interesting and makes sense. I took a short walk as it was cold and very windy. I haven’t looked at my bank account yet. I really don’t care today. I’m in that I don’t care mood right now. I will have to face things but I don’t have the energy now. I’m drained. Tomorrow will be better.

[lizbeth4]

Monicau, Thank you for taking the time to post on my thread. For myself, it seams easier to just give in to the depression instead of fighting. But I’m really trying today to stay positive. Do you think that Pete is in denial? You may have to address him moving again. I agree with you that our children and grandchildren help to keep us going. I live in a town with a large elderly population. I often wonder how many of them are lonely and have no family interaction. I think it happens a lot. Sadly, this world is a lot different than when we grew up. I really hope for you that Pete leaves and your Son moves in. I think it would change your environment vibes, in a good way. Take care. Have a good day.

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