[lizbeth4]

Hi Monicau, Good to see you posting. Wow! 5 hours a day in travel time is a lot! I do admire your persistence in making it into work. It will pay off for you. I hope you can rest up and feel better soon. You should be proud of yourself. You’ve journeyed though a lot and you’ve never given up! That says a lot about your good character. Get better soon.

[lizbeth4]

Tomorrow is my youngest Daughter’s birthday. I’m so proud of her Clean and sober and a great Mommy. The day after that is the 5 year anniversary of my Husband’s death. A happy time followed by a sad time. That why I’m having gambling urges!!! Dah! Why didn’t I figure that out sooner. 5 years of living without him. Starting a new life. A lot of sadness but many awesome, lovely memories that can never be taken from me. Also, we will be celebrating my Granddaughters 1st birthday on the 28th. I belive my Husband sent her to us to save my Daughter’s life and to bring me joy and happiness. She is our blessing. No way am I going to let gambling destroy this!!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Velvet and i-did-it! I’m fine! I’m home safe and gamble free. I live in a 4 stop light small town. Of course, the first light is the casino. The parking lot was full. I kept my course and went straight home. I’m tired and dealing with some major family issues (not my Mom this time). I pray that God will watch over my family members who are in turmoil now! Going to vegg today. No gambling =true peace!

[lizbeth4]

Having very strong gambling urges! I’m not leaving till some time this evening now. I don’t know where the urges are coming from. I know I won’t go to a casino in the city but I have to pass the one where I live. I have no cash on me but my debit card. I need to work through this!!! I hate this feeling!

[lizbeth4]

I’m leaving tomorrow morning for home. My Grandson is spending the weekend with his Dad! Today we are going to pay some video games after school. Then out for dinner. I’ve had gambling urges this morning but I won’t act on therm. I am stronger than the urges. I can do this!

[lizbeth4]

Now I know why I dislike the city! Traffic and traffic!!! Everything is good. It’s a lot warmer here so I’ve been able to thaw out a bit. When I go home is up in the air as my Daughter and Ex Son In Law didn’t communicate well. I might be here for the weekend. My Grandson is funny. He keeps trying to get over with Grandma but I’m keeping him on his schedule. No gambling urges! Almost everything has cleared my bank. Onlyu 2 items left. I won’t have much left but I should be able to post and sell a few more items when I get home. Next month will be better financially. One day at a time!

[lizbeth4]

I tried to edit my post but couldn’t! My friend lives in the same condo community as my Husband and I did!

[lizbeth4]

I had breakfast with a friend who lives in the same condo community as my Husband had Iived. We talked for 2 hours. This evening my Grandson has chess class and has a student council meeting before school tomorrow. We are having fun but by the evening, I’m tired! LOL! I so regret the time and money I lost to gambling! People say we should move forward but I think it is good to remember the pain and sorrow that this addiction causes. That makes me not want to gamble again. My month’s money will be tight because of my last gambling episode and I will cut corners and budget to make it. I don’t want to live like that anymore! My self imposed madness has stopped! No gambling=A good life!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Laura, Thank you for your posts on my thread. I can’t imagine being in chronic pain. I hope the surgery helps your back. Our health is our wealth! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I’m alone in this big house! Doing some laundry, ect. My Grandson was happy to see me as I was to see him. We have plans this week. Lol! I’m kinda of pissed and upset. Regarding: mortgage payment/oldest Daughter. It never ends! Speaking with her doesn’t help. I’ll get it right before it’s considered late! It’s causing a lot of anxiety because I can’t front the payment anymore. She know this and is putting me in a bad situation. Kinda like what I did to myself when I gambled. Anyways, I’m glad I’m here with my Grandson. He’s worth it! No gambling or urges!!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Laura and Monicau for your posts! I’m trying to build my $1000 emergency fund but I can’t contribute this month. I will be able to deposit some into my savings next month. My whole state tax refund will be pur into savings. That will be a great feeling! Laura, my Father and Step Father were both alcoholics. So were 2 of my Uncles. In fact, I married a alcoholic. I’ve never had a taste for alcohol. I’ve attended Alanon. It helped me a lot. I’m leaving for the city in 1 hour. Going to enjoy the time with my Grandson. No gambling helps make this possible!

[lizbeth4]

I-did-it, I think I would volunteer at one of our thrift stores as they donate to either women and children or our Animal Humane Society. I’m also interested in our town’s senior center. I feel like I need to give my community and to feel like I am doing something of importance with my life! I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety the last 2 days. I’m thinking it’s due to going to the city. I don’t deal with traffic or traveling very far to get to wherever I’m going. Small town living is so different from big city living. I feel safe here. I’ll get over it! Spending time with my Grandson outweighs everything. No gambling=making goals and plans!

[lizbeth4]

I’m glad your Son is alright. Congratulations on your new job! What great news! A new job, a new start. I’m so excited for You! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Even though I feel like I’m doing well in my recovery, I know that I have a long ,long way to go! It’s going to take awhile and hard work to get to where I want to be financially. I’m working on other aspects of my life too! But I feel confident that these will improve also. This month, 2 separate weeks will be spent on the city. In April, I’m going to look for a part time job and possibly volunteer somewhere 1 day a week. Plans and goals are good! No gambling =a more peaceful and content life!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monicau, I hope your Son is alright. It’s hard when your head says one thing and your heart says another. I self medicated with gambling but it could have been alcohol or drugs. I realize that now. It sounds like you had a busy day! I hope a opportunity comes from your interview. Take care.

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