[lizbeth4]

Sara, your input made me think more about my post! Ive had to turn down invites to do things because I didnt have the money. Gambling isn’t the only reason for my debt. Irresponsible spending, buying items and doing things I couldn’t afford to do but chose to charge on a card instead. I kept doing it till it all snowballed! Once I pay off my debts, I need to stay out of debt. I have found ways to live more cheaply. There are a lot of things I can do that are inexpensive and fun. I don’t need to impress anyone only myself. Just to have peace of mind. Free of debt. I’m making a life board (poster board with pictures of how I want my life to be in the future:) travel pictures, ect… Then when I’m discouraged, I have something visual to look at. Also, I’m going to treat myself to dinner out or something new (small item) every so often so I don’t feel so deprived. I’m getting myself out of the mess. One day at a time! No gambling. No extra spending.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Sara for your positive post! Today could have gone very bad for me mentally but I won’t let it. My property taxes are overdue. Which I plan on paying in the next 2 months. Of course extra interest has been added. It’s a doable situation. The cable company decided to charge me for another month which took me 45 mins of hold time to talk to a supervisor and straighten it out. I received a letter from a collection agency about a credit card debt. I thought this debt was included on debt consolidation plan but it isn’t. Now the collection agency won’t add it. I have 30 days to respond. So I’m going to figure out what I can pay them each month. I will send them a letter and the first payment when I get paid. Wow, I racked up a lot of debt when I was gambling. Fighting my way out of it!

[lizbeth4]

This morning while having my hot tea and reflecting, I’ve realized that I’m my own worse enemy. I’ve put restrictions on my growth and being apprehensive I’ve stopped myself from fulfilling a lot of my dreams. Failing was taught to me as a sign of weakness. But in reality we all have to fail sometimes to succeed. So, I’m taking back my power and embracing what life holds in front of me. I’m making plans. Step one: to get out of debt (24 months). Step 2: rent a RV for 1 month and travel. Step 3: Either purchase a RV or travel some other way. Step 4: While working on all of my steps, I’m going to experience small, affordable hiking day trips or car trips enjoying places near me! I’m excited!!! Yesterday I made a good find. While helping my Mother clean out her storage shed, I came across a box of movies (cds, some never opened. Now I have 20 adventure, action movies. Next month I will have internet again. It’s been a little easier than I thought not having cable or internet. There are a lot of things we can eliminate if we have to. Today I’m watching my Granddaughter while my Daughter works. Joy!!!

[lizbeth4]

So, after a disappointment today, I started feeling negative, low and angry at the person involved. I then started having gambling urges! I was on FB and came across a quote that was meant for me today. I will paraphrase it, “The only person who can pull me down is myself and I won’t let myself pull me down today.” I’m going to watch my Granddaughter today. That will lift my spirits. I’ve safeguarded the little bit of money I’ve managed to save. It’s in a online savings account. I have no ATM card attached to it. I want to see it grow. I’m doing ok. I think that this time I’m going to get it together and stop the gambling madness!

[lizbeth4]

I received a call today with a job offer. I decided to decline. It was a job requiring in town driving. Although I love long distance driving, I wouldn’t like daily in town. The job I really wanted never called me. My finances are looking up as one of my loans will be paid off next month. I’m looking forward to putting that money into savings. Little by little things are improving in my life as I’m not gambling.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Sara for your post! I need to stay positive as when I get in a negative mood it impacts everything around me. It’s like what vibes you give to the universe, you receive back. I’m making a lot of headway also with being the doormat and scapegoat with my family. I’ve always been the people pleaser even to my own detriment. It stems from being a child and thinking if I made everyone happy our dysfunctional family would be normal. I was asked to change plans I’ve had in place for 2 months, which involve going out of town to visit a friend, to accommodate someone else’s plans. I had no problem saying no. Oh my, was my Mom shocked. She said nothing to me though. Yeah, I really don’t want to argue anymore. The other family member can change her plans. It’s freeing to take back control of my life. We only have this one so we need to make the most of it! I feel like a lot of my issues contributed to my gambling addiction. As I have break throughs the urges lease. Keep going forward!

[lizbeth4]

I got all of my tasks done. My Mom and I did a little shopping and had lunch. It was enjoyable. I purchased some light purple (my favorite color) nail polish, snacks and rented a movie for tonight. The little things seem to make me happy and content. No gambling thoughts today!

[lizbeth4]

This morning I’m dropping off the yard sale donations. I didn’t sleep well last night. My youngest Daughter is worrying me with her decisions regarding her ex boyfriend. Too much to go into. I have to remember that I only have control of myself and my actions and how I react to others. So, today I will do my errands, finish my chores and take time for a walk. Not gambling makes this possible.

[lizbeth4]

Today, I made $110 with the yard sale. We’ve packed up the remainder of the yard sale for donation. I will drop it off on Monday. Ive rented another movie and I’m settling in for the night. Tomorrow I’m having lunch with a friend. It’s nice to have plans that dont involve gambling!

[lizbeth4]

Hi i-did-it! Well, I made $200 today with the yard sale. My Daughter’s car insurance was due so I gave her 1/2 of it. So, I made $100 today and got rid of stuff. Anything left over after tomorrow will be donated. My Daughter and Granddaughter spent the night as we had to start early for the yard sale. We made dinner together and rented a scary movie as those are her favorites. I had fun! I’m tired! No gambling thoughts or urges!

[lizbeth4]

Treating

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Sara for your post! I could have bought thousands of DVD players with the money I’ve wasted gambling. The little things like watching a movie or tearing myself to fancy tea or dessert brings me a lot more happiness that gambling. The little things in life!!

[lizbeth4]

I was busy all day! Transporting items from my Mom’s house and her neighbors home for the big yard sale this weekend. Thank goodness my Daughter is helping. We’ve priced everything. I have a long, covered driveway so there is room for everything. We are going to set up Thursday so we can start it early Friday morning. Making a little cash and purging at the same time. I’m tired! Played with my Granddaughter part of the day. These are things I would never do if I were gambling! I bought a DVD player yesterday and I’ve rented some movies for tonight. Going to relax.

[lizbeth4]

Today I’m going to be grateful! I’m going to stop complaining as there are people who are going through a lot! My next door neighbor is 99 years old and was recently placed in a care center because of health issues. Her only relative is her 69 year old Step Daughter. She came from the city today to check on the house. After talking to her I felt so ashamed of thinking my problems are so bad. Her 34 year old Son committed suicide 6 months ago. Her breast cancer is back and she’ll be having chemo and radiation again. Her youngest Grandchild, 15 months old was diagnosed with a rare disease, which there is no cure. OMG, I cried with her and just held her. It is heartbreaking. My suffering is self made-gambling!, I don’t know how this woman is functioning.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks everyone for your posts! I’ve been thinking and personally, I can’t make any life changing moves till my debt is paid off. Roughly 2 years from now. It’s a big dark cloud over my head. If I’m debt free and sell my home, I might be able to live near the ocean. I would have to live in a small apartment or rent a room from someone but it’s doable. Or I could go the small motor home route. I’m not attached to material things. My family pictures and my collection of perfume bottles are the things I would need besides a few clothes and personal items. Everything else could be sold or donated. Dreams!! Monica, my bead work days are done. It’s a lot of work and the beads and stuff are expensive if you’re going to make quality, nice looking pieces. I worked for a long time in my yard the past 2 days and I’m almost done. It looks great! Today my Daughter and Granddaughter come home. It will be good to see them. I’ve decided that today I will be grateful for my life, health and family and friends. I will value myself and all of my accomplishments and future experiences. I won’t dwell on the negatives.

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