[lizbeth4]

Hi Monica, Congrats on the new job. You will do well. I wish you the best!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Kathryn, I just read your post on Mavericks thread. I hope you are doing well. Don’t work too hard. Take some time for you. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it for your post. I’m feeling less anxious this morning. I have to face the consequences of my gambling debt. In the states you are taken to court for non payment and either a lien is placed on your property or your wages are garnished. I’ve gone over my budget and there is little money left. I will offer it to the company I owe. That’s all I can do. I’m going to check the paper today for jobs again. Im watching my Granddaughter for a few hours this morning. She’s getting so big. She brings me such joy and makes me smile.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Velvet for your post. I’m struggling Today! How in the heck did I get myself in such a mess with GAMBLING? It’s horrible not to be able to pay your debts. I need more income. The only way to get out of this mess. I will apply again this week at more places. I can feel myself going into a dark place mentally.

[lizbeth4]

I woke this morning feeling stressed and full of anxiety. Payday is,near and all of my bills will be paid and my living expenses. It leaves very little to offer the creditor whom I thought was on my debt consolidation. I will call them next week and offer what I have as a first payment. Nothing else I can do. I need to learn how to channel my anxiety and worries. I’m doing my best. The worse that can happen is a judgement against me and either a lien or wage garnishment. I can do only what I can do. But I must remember what got to this point- GAMBLING! And never make this mistake again. No news on my state tax refund. It would come into good use right now. The rest of my day will be spent enjoying my family. Have a great gamble free weekend everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Maverick and I-did-it for your posts. I do suffer from low self esteem and I’ve always been a people pleaser. Although in the last year or so, I’ve made great strides in those areas. I’ve adjusted well to living alone although I do get lonely once in awhile which I feel is normal. When I lost my Husband, best friend and soul mate, my world crashed in on me! It’s taken 5 years for me to get to a place where I know that I am going to be okay. Although I’ve done a lot of damage gambling, I know that it has made me a better and stronger person. Today I finished pulling weeds in my backyard. I sat at the picnic table with my tea and enjoyed the beauty of the blooming flowers, trees, and the strawberry patch. I know I am a very blessed ! Life is awesome without gambling!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Maverick and Kin for your posts! Today I decided that I am more than my gambling addiction. I’ve lived under that cloud way too long. Ive finally realized that there is so much more to me. Instead of focusing on my negative traits, I’m focusing on my positives. I’m a good Mother and Grandmother. I love my family and friends unconditionally. I’m very resourceful and creative. I’m a good person. This journey has taught me a lot about self discovery. And has made me work through a lot of painful issues I’ve carried with me since childhood. I’m finding that I’m feeling more peaceful and content with myself and my life. The only one who can hold me back is myself.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Maverick! Being with my Grandchildren makes me feel young again and gives me a lot of joy! I was happy to see your post this morning. A friendly face. I’m so scared, disappointed and fearful of the actions that my youngest daughter is making in het life. This time it’s not just het that is involved, she has her daughter involved. I tried talking to her but she knows it all. All I can do is pray and release my worries. I did have gambling thoughts but I’m working through them. Thank goodness that I have support here. I have hope.

[lizbeth4]

Maverick, I’m so happy that your wife is recovering. Thank goodness for your persistence. I’m sure your children were scared and confused by not having their Mommy at home. But you were present to comfort them. Everyone makes mistakes. I’m glad that you posted after gambling. Just because we gamble doesn’t mean we dont love those around us. We have a addiction that isn’t easily cured. You must never give up on yourself. You are worth a gamble free life. You always have my support. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I feel like my interview didn’t go well. I wasn’t who they were looking for. I got a, we have other interviews this week. And then we will make a decision. I did my best. As Maverick said, if it’s meant to be it will happen. I’m watching my Granddaughter for a few hours while my Daughter works. She’s saying a few words and now runs everywhere. Keeps me busy and not gambling. Have a good day everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monica, I would try different things medically like you are doing before starting a anti depressant. I’m not one for just taking a pill. I’ve been able to reduce my daily medications for my heart by implementing some lifestyle changes. I read your posts and I know that you are a strong woman but having health issues can really bring you down. I think you are being proactive and trying to work through things. I think of you often and pray that things will lighten for you. Take care.

[lizbeth4]

Maverick, your post was what I needed Today! I know my Husband is with me. It’s just so hard to not have him here physically. Some of my gambling was out of loneliness and because I was lost after he died. I’m still finding my way. I would really like to get the job tomorrow. Not only because I need the money, it would help me to feel useful. Having future goals gives me the motivation to keep going. I’m going to deal with the latest creditor this week. I can only pay a monthly repayment that fits into my budget, not the unrealistic amount they are suggesting. I’m no longer going to short myself every month with my needs: food and a little bit of money for miscellaneous items. That’s causing a lot of stress. Forward is the direction to go!

[lizbeth4]

Maverick, Thank you for your thoughtful, positive post. I hope your wife is feeling better. Always remember that today is a new beginning. We can do this! You are not alone.

[lizbeth4]

3 steps forward and a step back. Seems like that’s how my life has been lately. I guess that is life! I know that i am making progress. I have to be patient. Laura, the local seniors center was very depressing for me when I visited. The people were significantly older. I’d rather volunteer with children. I have a job interview in the morning. Again doing something I haven’t done before. Part time work and probably the weekends but that is ok. I want to save some money for a used RV or traveling. I have my eye on the type of RV i would like. A Minnie Winnie (Winnebago). We will see! My Daughter and I like to hike. I’m looking for a good baby hiking backpack. It’s good to have plans and dreams. I’m trying to forgive myself for my stupidity of wasting money Gambling. It’s hard! It will take awhile to get there. But I’m not gambling today.

[lizbeth4]

Today I woke and negative, defeatist, thoughts startied entering my head. The what if’s! I can’t go back in the past. I can only move forward and make my life the best it can be. Today will be spent doing some household chores and pulling and spraying weeds in my front yard. My Daughter is attending a wedding this evening and my Granddaughter is spending the night. Precious memories that don’t include gambling!

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