[lizbeth4]

Struggling Today! Not only with gambling but other issues in my life. My Dr’s appointment is in August. Small town, not many Dr’s. Something happened today that rocked me to the core. I won’t go into details but it left me scared and angry. There is nothing that I can do about it. No recourse! One of the downfalls of living in a small town. Thankfully my Mother was there to comfort me and was on my side. It’s time for me to totally get myself together. No more loose ends. We have one life too live and we need to make it the best we can! I’m not giving up!

[lizbeth4]

My youngest Daughter just sent me the most positive news! Her job is going well as is her living arrangements. My Granddaughter is doing great. My Daughter is getting much needed dental work done! She’s my hero and my example that anything is possible. You can achieve anything if you want it bad enough!

[lizbeth4]

Thank you i-did-it for your caring post. I’m just feeling down about my life. Who can change this? Me!!! I seem to retreat when feeling down, which makes it worse. I know I have to do something to change this around. I’m mentally drained. It’s going to be a early night.

[lizbeth4]

Congratulations on your GF time! Your story is very inspirational for me. I hope your gut issues lessen soon.

[lizbeth4]

Поздравляю с проведением GF! Ваша история меня очень вдохновляет. Я надеюсь, что твои проблемы с кишечником скоро уменьшатся.

[lizbeth4]

Kathryn, Your post means so much to me! I hope to be in the position, money wise, to enjoy and plan trips also. You should be proud of your gamble free time. That’s a big accomplishment. You give me hope. When your Mother passed, it really hit me hard. I could feel your pain. It was a turning point with my relationship between my Mother and I. I no longer look at her with pain and apprehension. I look at her with love and care. Kathryn, your Mother is all around you. You just can’t see her. My weekend was rough. I’ve come to a conclusion that some major things have to change in my life. Things that are causing me a lot of sadness and will destroy me. It’s time to see my Dr and counselor again. Maybe I would benefit from a light antidepressant. The mind can be a scary thing. I’ve always resisted medications but anxiety attacks are so scary. I need to get some relief. I can’t obsess with what can go wrong. I have to see the joy and happiness in things. On top of all of this, I found a large scropin in my hallway! Yikes! Thank goodness my Granddaughter wasn’t here. He went into a dustpan and back outdoors. This weekend I’m feeling really insignificant. It would be nice to have someone say, it’s going to be okay and you are enough. Kathryn, you’ve made me feel better. Thank you.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Kathryn, I think of you a lot! I was glad to see your post. Strangely, I was going to post on your thread when I saw your post. 9 years gamble free. Omg, that gives me hope. I don’t think we ever get over a death of someone dear to us. Somehow we keep going. Your post today was so appreciated as I’ve had a rough weekend. Things I need to make right within myself. Take care Kathryn. How is your Grandson?

[lizbeth4]

Early this morning I took my walk. Only saw 1 other person. I took in all of the beautiful nature around me. I think I’ve only been living not really living in the moment and realizing how blessed I am. Everything doesn’t need to happen right now. That’s why we have dreams and goals! We are forever changing and evolving. Life is what you make it. Gambling almost destroyed me! Today I haven’t gambled and I didn’t want to.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monica, Wow you’ve been busy. I’m so happy for you that the job has been a good experience. Things have really changed for you. Your perseverance and motivation kept you going! You are a strong woman and a example to me to never give up! You deserve a holiday with your Daughter! Take care.

[lizbeth4]

I spent the day with a friend Her Husband is scheduled for another cancer related surgery next week. We had lunch and visited on her front deck. It was nice. I’m gamble free after major urges. I’m amazed that I was able to resist. It makes me feel stronger and makes getting through the urges a little easier. I’m still don’t have cable or Wi-Fi and I’m surviving. I’m not able to post on others threads as I have to watch my data. But I’m reading the threads and sending positive vibes to everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Typo: kin

[lizbeth4]

Hi Kim, There are always going to be triggers for us. Sometimes it feels like a continuous battle. But every battle we win keeps us from gambling. Borrowing to gamble is the worse feeling. Everyday being gamble free is a blessing. We just have to keep going!

[lizbeth4]

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I’ve gambled. Personally, that doesn’t matter to me. As long as I am gamble free right now. Where would I get money to gamble? I keep a small stash for groceries, paper goods, ect. It’s not much but all of the cash on hand. See how the gambling mind works. There is currently no GA meetings in this town. That is probably why I post so often here. My gam bling thoughts have lessen. This morning I’m taking my neighbor to the Dr’s, as I had promised before we had our talk. I’m afraid I’m going to hurt her feelings as she isn’t getting what we talked about She’s asked if I can take her somewhere almost everyday and I’ve told her no. UGH !!! My motto for today. Be kind to yourself! Self care is essential for us.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve been feeling a little blue today. Working through It! I have had some gambling urges. Don’t know where this is coming from. I did a few things around the house and visited the library to check out more movies. I’ve been vegging all afternoon. I had a call from my Grandson and it put me in a better mood. I’m unable to purchase my jewerly supplies this month as I had to pay my yearly HOA fees for the year. Next month! I wonder how long will i battle with gambling urges??? It’s tiring.

[lizbeth4]

Actually, I feel like my Mother and I have come to a compromise. She hasn’t had a outburst for awhile. I see her but not daily and I back off when I feel a conflict rising. It seems to be working. I have some home projects to do this summer: painting the trim on the back of the house, staining the front deck, ect… Many things to keep me busy. I do like it when I accomplish things. Then my mind doesn’t drift to gambling.

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