[Lisackat]

Hi Velvet,

Thank you for reaching out. I have read in various places now, about this beast in the corner. Does this mean that yes, I do need to be careful about what I say and how I talk to him? I am a very dominant person which usually leads me to “say what I feel,” and watching those statements turn into fights time and time again is beginning to show me that might not be the right way to go. However, if I am not condemning this behavior I feel like I am saying that it is ok. What do you think? I can absolutely see in him all that you have said about low self esteem and a feeling of worthlessness. Our marriage has been on the rocks in other areas as well, which probably just compounds his feeling of being unloved. Maybe I just need to ignore my feelings and thoughts about his addiction and try to show him the love I once did in the beginning? It is definitely hard. I know that we both feel alone in this, which is sad because we should have each other. Last night we sat down and came up with a plan for our money. We compromised for probably the first time ever. I left the conversation feeling great, and I hope he did too. In the back of my mind though, is the nagging feeling that he will just continue to sneak and lie. I guess I should give him some credit seeing that he came to me to come clean about his current situation…but at times I feel that is just another manipulation tactic to get the money he needs to pay his debt. As of now I can say that I am not going anywhere, and I can say this knowing that he may never want to get help or acknowledge his addiction. With that being said, I guess I am most wondering how I should react, talk and treat him in regards to the addiction. Thank you for your advise…I will read it again and again.

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